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Thread: Not enough energy to talk

  1. #11
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    Perhaps, when all this has passed you should focus on expanding your friend circle.

    You barely know this guy and are upset because he does not feel like chatting with you. You have invested way too much into this guy. I think you are too emotionally involved due to the lack of a social life.

  2. #12
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Perhaps, when all this has passed you should focus on expanding your friend circle.
    ...
    I think you are too emotionally involved due to the lack of a social life.
    Ah, that. HOW! I'm 38 and I just don't connect with people easily. I'm too quiet when I don't know someone well enough and I don't know how to be something I am not. It's some kind of minor miracle to me that some how I became comfortable enough with him with him that I want to talk to him. And listen, I am a big listener. I learned 8 years ago that it's possible to feel some way about a person and for them not to feel the same way. The kind of friendship I feel towards him might not be the level he wanted from me.

  3. #13
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    Well, what sort of interests do you have?

    Once this pandemic situation has tapered off, you should consider joining local groups, clubs or teams of like-minded people. Look into volunteer organizations. You don't have to make instantly make friends there, but you can slowly start to get to know people over time.

    You have to be willing to put in some of the effort, and push your own boundaries a little.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that all this happens. You did the right thing ending it. It seems you are grieving 3 things all rolled up into one 8, 4 and 3 years tsunami of disappointment?

    The recent mama's boy of 4 years, the affair guy from 8 yrs ago who got engaged and this friend from 6 yrs ago who you never had a relationship with.

    Please research telemedicine resources for doctors and therapists who could help you. This degree of pain from all these long distant past issues could be helped. Withdrawing, ruminating, protracted sadness,etc. could indicate something you need to look into and get help with.
    Originally Posted by Ladyphase
    The guy I broke up with, we were together 4 years.
    8 years ago someone I loved and he said he loved me got engaged. To someone else.
    Met on a dating site...6 years ago? Never became lovers. Never exchanged words of love

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    You put yourself in a life ling position that you will take what you can get...even a guy that shuts down and ignores you. You can change and change is good. If you want a happier life, get out of your snail shell and try new things, meet new people, even if it scares the hell out of ya.

  7. #16
    He just posted about what happened and either deleted it or changed the privacy settings. Without sharing the most private details: there was a death in the family, and it hit him hard. His family is much closer, emotionally, than mine. Knowing, I don't feel as bad for myself.

  8. #17
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    You still need to put yourself out there, and not invest so much in an online stranger.

    Have you tried volunteering?

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