Coping with lack of mental health support for BPD

This is something I don’t like to talking about. I don’t want to feel judged or looked at as some kind of mental case. I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago with borderline personality disorder after researching why I had such struggles with relationships and cutting people out. I’ve always known that I had strong feelings. Those around me would go from being the best and twhen I didn’t feel like they were doing enough, I would cut them out and be angry. I had a very Trumatic childhood partly due to my mother being mentally ill herself and having schizophrenia and my fathers alcoholism and I believe he had BPD as well. I’ve never hurt myself physically but a lot of the damage I’ve done has been emotionally because I would end dating men who did not value or respect me. I have allowed it because it would validate that I wasn’t enough and made me work harder for approval. However Over time the high I would get from being with someone would Dissipate. I’d leave even though it felt like I was have an apart of myself was being ripped away. I identified who I was through them. It’s an addiction to relationships because I find no value in myself. I’ve always found my value in others especially men. I refuse to be this way for the rest of my life. I’ve done my best to cope and learn as much as I can about BPD so I don’t continue to be toxic to relationships with friends family as well as not enter into abusive relationships. I left an abusive marriage After eight years. I’ve done my very best to get a hold of myself in the last year, part of that was seeing wonderful and patient therapistfor BPD. However I’m very frustrated because there’s only one class in my area, I’ve been on a waiting list for seven months. It’s the only method for treating BPD that is affective. Despite the fact that the BPD is very common affecting 3 million people. There just isn’t enough mental health resources. I suffer with extreme moods and self hate. I cry constantly over major changes because I can’t handle them. I feel sick to my stomach at times over lost relationships and feel confused often as to why. Or feeling horrible about myself that I attract emotionally unavailable or narcissistic men. I want to be better but how am I supposed to be? people in my circle don’t seem understand me as much as I try to be open about it. I have ZERO control over it. I’m incredibly sensitive as well. It’s not like I have some physical deformity that they can see to understand. I am suffering and can’t get the help I need. I wonder if there’s anyone else who has the same struggle or who can give some thoughts on how to cope.

Katie: Sorry for your troubles. Now, I'm not trying to discourage from posting here but I think you would do better on a forum for people who also struggle with the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Google "borderline personality disorder forums" and you will find support groups of people who suffer in BPD, people who are the loved one of those with BPD and perhaps even clinical psychologists to discuss with.

I do know of one poster who comes around once in a while who seems to be quite proficient on the ins and outs of the syndrome. He is the ex spouse of a woman that had BPD. Perhaps he's chime in.

In the meantime, I wish you good luck with managing your symptoms.

Here is a site that might work for you...

https://www.bpdfamily.com/message_board/

^^^ added a forum site for you to check out if you care to.

Research telemedicine. Many insurers have been ordered to accept telemedicine cases/treatments. This may include psychiatrists, therapists, primary care etc. You can video-conference with a health care provider and they can advise you, call in prescriptions, etc.

Check your insurer, local government sites as well as local hospitals. Also look for online groups forums that specifically offer support for mental health. Remain connected and treated.

I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago with borderline personality disorder after researching why I had such struggles with relationships and cutting people out. I’m very frustrated because there’s only one class in my area, I’ve been on a waiting list for seven months.

Thank you. I’ve tried to find one but the only one I found was not like this where it’s easy to ask for help. I absolutely hate this disorder. I want to be rid of it like ten years ago. The struggle is real and so hard for others to understand.

*snipped* reposted below.

Thank you. I’ve tried to find one but the only one I found was not like this where it’s easy to ask for help. I absolutely hate this disorder. I want to be rid of it like ten years ago. The struggle is real and so hard for others to understand.

Was the link I provided helpful? It is a forum like this one, I believe but it strictly for those with BDP and their loved ones.

I don’t think it is a condition one gets rid of but more so managed through extensive treatment. My father has borderline personality disorder as well as bipolar 1.

Thanks katiekat for sharing your story with sincerity and vulnerability. As you said, that is always risky to do when you don't know what the responses will be. I hope you can experience the support and encouragement you are looking for. My familiarity with BPD is not experiencing it myself but from the experience of having a parent who was and there were marked changes in my dad as well with the treatment/intervention of therapy. But I agree with you that our health care system is definitely lacking in all mental health resources. The need seems to always exceed the supply. What is the class that you are specifically looking for? Since so many services are being offered online right now, is that an option for this resource?