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Thread: The children conversation

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
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    Mar 2006
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    If he refuses to seek legal help to resolve his current difficulties, and he's using those difficulties as a wedge to moving forward with you, then this is in his hands.

    I'd tell him exactly what you told us: I love him, I want to stay with him, but not at the expense of my ability to have children of my own. That's why I'm walking away while we both still think highly of one another. He gets to decide whether he'll hire an attorney and resolve his problem, and if so, he can let me know. If I'm still available then, we can meet to catch up. Otherwise, I wish him the best.

    This leaves your door open to him, even while it liberates you from limbo in order to find a better match for the future you envision for yourself.
    Could not agree more. This is a no brainer to me. I first got pregnant before I turned 42. I am so lucky it worked naturally. And I wouldn't advise anyone to wait that long if she knows she wants to try for a biological child. It was far more stressful to have a high risk pregnancy. Also when I was in my early 30s egg freezing was not yet a viable option -I suggest you look into that as an alternative. Good luck!!

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
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    Nov 2008
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    I would have asked if he saw himself having more kids in the first few dates in the "getting to know you stage." You should not be "planning a family" with a boyfriend. He doesn't want a kid fearing if things go south with you, he will be burned again. Don't stay with this guy only to have him never change his mind or get scared and bolt. Also, you do not know what the real story is - the ex could be vindictive but there could be more to the story, as well.

    I would throw him back in the sea and look for a man to start dating who wants kids and its just a matter of meeting the right one.

  3. 03-25-2020, 10:00 AM

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