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Thread: Questions For Woman - Confused Man Looking For Insight

  1. #1
    Member MrAdversity's Avatar
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    Questions For Woman - Confused Man Looking For Insight

    Questions For Woman -

    1. I tend to joke around about sex a lot with my wife.. its a way maybe I see how she is feeling at that moment with me and if she is in the mood possibly and it could be at the most randomst times, however although she entertains it at the moment she hates it and says I do it a lot and feels as if that's all I want from her - im very confused on this, and im not sure why im so confused, what does she mean ? What is she looking for instead? .

    2. What do you mean when you say i want to feel wanted is that the same as loved.... ? Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    In regards to the first question, Im much the same as your wife. I dont really enjoy when my male partner jokes about sex with me. It also makes me feel like thats the only thing he wants from me. I told him that Im a subtle signs type of person. Cuddle with me and start kissing my neck to see if I assist you in taking things further. If you wanna know if Im in the mood, find a way to ask me.
    Jokes about sex remind me of those frat boys I never took seriously. They dont make me feel flattered or sexy or anything a woman (well more specifically this woman) wants to feel before engaging in sex.
    My advice would be to ask your wife how she likes to be approached when it comes to sex. Sounds like an awkward conversation but it can be very helpful AND maybe shes never thought about it

    As to you second question. Feeling wanted looks different for everyone. For me, feeling wanted is having all your attention most of the time. If were in a room with people, your eyes are on me frequently, your ears are almost always tuned in to what Im saying even if it has nothing to do with you. If were going out, youve told me how beautiful I look and how happy you are to be beside me. You remind me throughout the night of how beautiful you think I look.

    Small things like that equal feeling wanted for me. But every woman is different

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Hard to imagine that joking around is romantic or foreplay for your wife.. Women are usually not that turned on by childish locker room humor. Get up and make dinner, do the dishes, watch a rom-com together, etc. Figure out what turns her on, not what turns on a bunch of 20 something guys.
    Originally Posted by MrAdversity
    I tend to joke around about sex a lot with my wife.. its a way maybe I see how she is feeling at that moment with me and if she is in the mood possibly

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Constant joking about sex makes you sound like you are 17 and super horny. Which is a major turn off.

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    Member MrAdversity's Avatar
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    So I get the constant joking about sex stuff, however some other questions .

    1. If you had to say whats the one thing that turns you on about your man that makes you melt what would it be ...something that can be done at anytime
    2. Also if you ever had a major fight or disagreement what did you husband do or say to help you take down your wall during that time? What helped to bring things back to normalcy

    3. And one random question - if you lived in a house with not enough space for your family to grow, and seem to live in homes that follow that theme in the past and it becomes a crux of making things unhappy what would you do ? Find another home that suited everyone better within your budget, become a landlord and rent and use that towards another home, (unfortunately trying to make it work isn't an option) space constraint and not building more rooms ..
    We are talking no privacy on any end from the neighborhood to the space/bedrooms etc . We are known to move a lot so far because of this , and even to a new state ...

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    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Hard to imagine that joking around is romantic or foreplay for your wife.. Women are usually not that turned on by childish locker room humor. Get up and make dinner, do the dishes, watch a rom-com together, etc. Figure out what turns her on, not what turns on a bunch of 20 something guys.
    this^^^^

    women in general do not find the horn dog humor funny or attractive. I say this as a serious question- are your jokes funny? or are they annoying? The latter can be a turn off.

    I suspect she means she wants to feel wanted and loved for more than her body and sex. Do you show interest in her interests? Do you encourage her? Do you express appreciation for the things she does? Do you do little things to show you think of her throughout the day?

    I dont mean you have to overwhelm her with attention but you could try little things to help her feel more valued.

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    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I see your jokes as asking for sex in a roundabout way, like you're afraid to come out and say what you want, trying to gauge if she's willing by her reaction.

    What do I value from my husband? I like it that he sometimes shows me physical affection and a gives me a French kiss even when his intent is not to have sex at that moment. On the contrary, with my ex husband, he only showed me affection when he wanted to do it.

    A woman also values not being tired, so make sure you're contributing a fair share of chores so that she has energy for sex. Occasionally give her a foot or back massage without the goal of sex. Just because you love her and want to please her. And it's also okay to ask her for a neck rub or back rub if you've had a stressful day. Helps to keep an emotional connection.

    What is sexy? If you texted her from work and said: I've been thinking about you all day, and how I want to give you a long massage tonight. (It's about what you want to give to her--not about what you want to take.)

    Sometimes just say things plainly: I'd like to have sex tonight.

    A sultry James Bond approach is more appealing than a ridiculous Adam Sandler.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrAdversity
    So I get the constant joking about sex stuff, however some other questions .

    1. If you had to say whats the one thing that turns you on about your man that makes you melt what would it be ...something that can be done at anytime
    2. Also if you ever had a major fight or disagreement what did you husband do or say to help you take down your wall during that time? What helped to bring things back to normalcy

    3. And one random question - if you lived in a house with not enough space for your family to grow, and seem to live in homes that follow that theme in the past and it becomes a crux of making things unhappy what would you do ? Find another home that suited everyone better within your budget, become a landlord and rent and use that towards another home, (unfortunately trying to make it work isn't an option) space constraint and not building more rooms ..
    We are talking no privacy on any end from the neighborhood to the space/bedrooms etc . We are known to move a lot so far because of this , and even to a new state ...
    1. I don't think melting is a common thing that happens from one trick that works everytime. that's not what melting is. Its about a person knowing you and doing what you need in that moment.

    2. This also depends on the person. genuinely apologizing and changed behavior is a good approach.

    3. I would move to a bigger place within my budget, work together to determine what we would be willing to sacrifice to create more money for a bigger place.

    I didn't really understand about the moving so much because of no privacy in the neighborhood. Are you moving around in the same neighborhood?

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Hard to imagine that joking around is romantic or foreplay for your wife.. Women are usually not that turned on by childish locker room humor. Get up and make dinner, do the dishes, watch a rom-com together, etc. Figure out what turns her on, not what turns on a bunch of 20 something guys.
    Show it with considerate and loving actions, not jokes. It is a turnoff.

    It seems that you have been having some big issues in your marriage. Did you attend counseling?

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by MrAdversity
    So I get the constant joking about sex stuff, however some other questions .

    1. If you had to say whats the one thing that turns you on about your man that makes you melt what would it be ...something that can be done at anytime
    2. Also if you ever had a major fight or disagreement what did you husband do or say to help you take down your wall during that time? What helped to bring things back to normalcy

    3. And one random question - if you lived in a house with not enough space for your family to grow, and seem to live in homes that follow that theme in the past and it becomes a crux of making things unhappy what would you do ? Find another home that suited everyone better within your budget, become a landlord and rent and use that towards another home, (unfortunately trying to make it work isn't an option) space constraint and not building more rooms ..
    We are talking no privacy on any end from the neighborhood to the space/bedrooms etc . We are known to move a lot so far because of this , and even to a new state ...
    When he does things without being asked. When he helps around the house, or offers to do things. This should be done daily. Being an active partner makes a healthy relationship. Making dinner and flowers are always a positive.

    Listen to what your partner is saying and trying to come to a place where you can both agree.

    Why didn't you live in bigger homes? Can you afford it? Moving is expensive. Interest rates are very low, can you buy?
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-22-2020 at 01:23 PM.

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