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Thread: Need Help

  1. #1

    Need Help

    So I need help with my relationship.

    Some information about the relationship is that it is an online relationship, we are both 18 and also live in different countries. (Me UK her France), but her english is very good so its not a problem. We met through gaming community also and play video games together often. We have been in a relationship for not too long but been friends for a very long time and were planning to meet irl in the distant future.

    Anyway recently I made the mistake of texting too much, or being boring with my texts such as asking how her day is, etc kinda too often. Everything was fine up until today when I realised I was starting to bothering her. So we spoke about it a little bit and she said she just wanted to be able to breath. I have since apologised and said I would change and stop acting so needy, asking same questions, etc. But a little before my apology she said she 'didn't know' and I still am not sure what that means. She also mentioned she did not always wanna spend her time messaging, which is understandable. After I have apologised she still has not replied since and its not really like her normally to not reply.

    What I wanna know now is what to do? I do not want to lose her but also I do not know how to go about this, should I message something again? Or wait for her reply? Im just worried she will never reply again, and like I said I just dont wanna lose her, any advice is apprieciated.

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Florida Panhandle
    This long distance thing isn't going to lead to anything, and so you might as well let this one go and concentrate on talking to girls whom you can actually meet.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Don't do anything. Consider it a lesson learned for the future, perhaps with someone else. Don't over do it with texting and learn to back off A LOT. Give people their time and space because it's called being respectful to them.

    When the French girl is ready, she'll text you otherwise don't bother her anymore. If she doesn't text you, there is your answer. She has since moved on because it's HER CHOICE.

    Never look at bad outcomes in vain. Wisdom had been gained on your part and now with that new wisdom gained, you will be very wise as you navigate your relationships (or friendships) in the future. It takes failure to become a better person from this day forward. Live and learn because that's life.

    In the future, keep your texts and all electronic correspondence brief, infrequent and extremely respectful otherwise yes, you will be perceived as needy and clingy and people look upon insecure people with great disdain.

    I agree with SarahLancaster. LDR (long distance relationships) are doomed for failure due to inconvenience, hassle to travel back 'n forth, infrequent get togethers and the exhaustion required to see one another.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Stop texting her


  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Central Canada
    Act like you don't give a crap. Play your game and don't give her any special attention. The less you do, the better you will be because it will give you a chance to learn to live without her as you go no contact and then you will hopefully be open to talking to and then meeting in the NEAR future someone who you live close enough to actually meet and nurture a relationship with.

    Don't worry if she doesn't contact you or talk to you again... there is someone out there that will talk to you and now that you know not to hover over her too much, you'll be a real charmer.

    You'll be okay but don't reach out again. She's asked for a breather so give that to her... as hard as that may be its what you should try your hardest to do. Keep busy doing your hobbies and other stuff that will help to keep your mind off of her.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    I would think there are lots of lovely 17 and 18 year old girls in the UK. Haven't you met anyone locally you find cute and interesting?

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for 2 years. It's difficult because you can't always tell what's on the other person's mind, and when something goes wrong it can be very confusing. It's probably not as bad as you think. She just needs a little space. Try not to be so needy--tend to your life outside of your relationship. Don't start playing games and acting differently if you love her. Just send one last text telling her that you understand, and you're there if she needs you but you're going to give her some space. And then do that. Don't text again. Let her text you, and continue to allow distance. Sometimes, the best way to teach someone to value your time is to give them less of it. Good luck.

  9. #8
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    It's not even a long-distance relationship because they've never even met. The only "relationship" is through a computer screen and you are wasting your time. Once the world has got through coronavirus go and meet someone local, with whom you can have actual real life experiences with.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Ontario Canada
    OP are there no girls where you live?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    I think it's time to move on, OP.

    You have never met her, and likely won't have that opportunity any time soon. Online "romances" tend to lose their novelty quickly because they just can't compete with real life. That's what's happening with her. She's lost interest in carrying on a cyber relationship.

    In the future, don't commit yourself to a girl you don't know in person, and can't meet with any degree of regularity.

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