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Thread: Am I being a coward?

  1. #41
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    user0x24,

    Don't over dramatize this unnecessarily. Be honest, tell her the truth, keep it brief, break up so both of you can move on in your life in a healthy manner. Don't drag this out by ruminating over this which is a waste of your time and energy.

  2. #42
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    There is nothing positive or "noble" about being a martyr.

    Staying in a relationship and "suffering" only makes you look weak, it also show that you do not value yourself very much.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-25-2020 at 09:41 PM.

  3. #43
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    If my love were unconditional, then I would stay with a partner no matter what he did. This means staying if he were abusive, a cheater, addict, criminal etc.... No way, I value myself to much to love a partner unconditionally. If there is "real love" people treat each other with love, respect and honesty.

    There is nothing redeeming by being a doormat.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-25-2020 at 10:09 PM.

  4. #44
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    Break it off with her. Its the best thing for both of you.

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  6. #45
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    I got some thought that sort of makes my heart a bit easier.

    In my world, there should be no people who are caused hurt undeservingly.

    If she is hurt by me breaking me up with her, with no her bad intention, it was caused by my mistake.

    That means, by that I am making someone to take hurt for my mistake, which is wrong.

    To right this wrong, I should pay for my mistake.

    At least I can formulate why I feel it's wrong that makes sense to me.

    I don't know if all the pain I endured up to know can be counted as payment for the mistake, or should it include staying with her for as long as she wants it...

    Knowing the problem is a half way to solution, now I know I can just come up with the right amount of retribution.


    Do you even know who you are? What you actually like? What your true strengths and abilities are?
    What challenges have you overcome? And not ones that just changed on their own?
    I don't know... I know I'm a conflict coward and people pleaser, and I do some experiments to overcome it, which leave me with even more questions.

    I could be more sure that being assertive in a conflict and making a mistake and hurt other people is worth it if I could have a way to repay for it.

    Maybe saying sorry is all what really needed...

    I don't really mind people really saying sorry and am mostly letting go of anger for them, except for people that say "sorry" as "I don't care hurting you, it's not my business", and are not sorry at all.
    These people I hate and am a bit obsessed to make them really sorry.
    I wouldn't want to have someone obsessed to make me that sorry for some mistake I did to them.

    All I ever wanted is to have some peace with myself and not feel guilty, and was ready to go for great lengths to make it happen.

  7. #46
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    -- deleted
    Last edited by user0x24; 04-20-2020 at 06:59 PM.

  8. #47
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