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Thread: Accidental contact with Ex

  1. #1
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    Accidental contact with Ex

    Wow...haven't posted on here in years. Looking for some insight during this bizarre time of isolation. So, my ex broke up w me 9 months ago. He lives in another state. The break up was bad and I haven't talked to him since that day. No texts, calls, social media activity...etc...I've been in stone cold NC since June. Generally speaking, I've been doing ok and have really turned a corner with the help of my therapist, friends, family and the passage of time. Then, THIS happened. I have been using Whatsapp more these days due to social distancing and for international calls to concerned relatives. I SOMEHOW BUTT DIALED MY EX. True story. I cancelled the call immediately. So, I FAINTED when he texted back a short while later saying he was sorry for missing the call and that he could talk in a little while or tomorrow...asked about me and my fam and how we were handling CV...etc......After regaining consciousness, I wrote a friendly message back telling him we were ok all things considered, asked about him and then explained the call was an accident..but that I wouldn't mind talking some time nonetheless..I signed off in a friendly, non-desperate way. He didn't write back. That was on Friday. I know it sounds lame, but it really was a butt dial. I didn't want ignore his text but also didn't want him to think I really called him given how bad our parting was. And, so you all know, we never spoke on Whatsapp when we were together. I would just call him on my cell. What's done is done but back to NC I go. When I have a missed call on my cell and no follow up text or VM, I assume it's a butt dial. Was it ok to tell him it was just an accident? And, yeah, it hurts a little that he didn't write back but I didn't mean to call him to begin with. Ugh.

  2. #2
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    Originally Posted by bighair
    Was it ok to tell him it was just an accident? And, yeah, it hurts a little that he didn't write back but I didn't mean to call him to begin with. Ugh.
    Yes, it's fine. You're over-thinking this.

    It sounds like you would be best to delete his number from your contacts so you don't accidentally dial him again, though. Based on your extreme reaction to him returning that call, it would be best if he doesn't follow up. It seems it would set your healing back right to zero, and you will need to go through the pain of the break-up all over again.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I agree with Canuck. I think you should just go back to zero contact (which includes you overthinking anything about him) and if he DOES call you back, that you don't answer. Perhaps even block and delete him. He did tell you that he would "talk in a little while or tomorrow" and if he does "talk later" I'm pretty sure you're going to "FAINT" yet again and indeed go back in your healing. For not talking to him for 9 months, its very clear that you are not yet to the stage of indifference to him. Do yourself a favor and block him and close that door for real.

  4. #4
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    Thank you. I appreciate your insight. However, I didn't have an extreme reaction....and I didn't literally faint. It was sarcasm. I reacted because of the ridiculousness of the butt dial. Thanks again.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I understand that it was sarcasm. So: Are ya gonna block him or are you going to take a chance on 'fainting' ;)

  7. #6
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    And, so we're clear...I didn't literally faint. But, I agree that I am not indifferent towards my ex....He was awful to me during the break up.

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    I removed him from Whatsapp.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Didn't you already tell him you called him by mistake? Why would you need to tell him a second time?

  10. #9
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    It was a mistake, just let it go.

    Now is a good time to block and delete him from everything.

  11. #10
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    I agree with everyone else. I know it's a strange time with people coming out of the woodwork -from a distance of course..... and yes I remember your posts. My hair is really big and kind of gray since I can't get it cut/colored right now because of covid19.

    I accidentally clicked on my ex on Linkedin some years ago because he came up as a suggestion next to the person I meant to click on. He linked in with me, I accepted, and we've never chatted on it. So it can be ok but our breakup was far less drama and we weren't doing actual NC

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