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Thread: Accidental contact with Ex

  1. #51
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Nut, thank you for your opinion. We are all entitled to that, including me.

    I'm not being unkind by having the Op look within as to why she needed to start a thread about this. I'm encouraging her to figure out how to self-sooth on trivial matters such as having regret for butt dialing someone who was awful to her and is no longer able to be awful to her if she just blocks him... something she seems to not want to do so it would, IMO do her well to figure out why.

    Its just that simple.

    @ Hair... sit back and read what you just wrote? Up there. That was a whole lot of angst coming out over a butt dial to an awful ex. What is really going on with you? Do you care to share. If there is nothing else than please try to chill. It wasn't a big deal what you did. I think most of us agree that blocking him will close the door to him so you can truly move on.

    Did you post here when you broke up with him?

  2. #52
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Nut, thank you for your opinion. We are all entitled to that, including me.

    I'm not being unkind by having the Op look within as to why she needed to start a thread about this. I'm encouraging her to figure out how to self-sooth on trivial matters such as having regret for butt dialing someone who was awful to her and is no longer able to be awful to her if she just blocks him... something she seems to not want to do so it would, IMO do her well to figure out why.

    Its just that simple.
    What are you talking about? There was nothing about my OP that suggested I was losing my mind over this butt dial. I even had to explain when I said "faint" that I was being sarcastic. I think the real problem is that you think this issue is trivial and therefore a waste of everyone's time. That is what is so off-putting about your statements and started this "argument."

    Insisting that you know what is best for me is presumptuous and, dare I say, unkind. I know myself and this situation better than anyone. I am the expert on my life. I asked for opinions. Some said delete him. Some said block him and delete him. I deleted him from my phone. That is the best course of action for me at the present time.

  3. #53
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bighair
    Insisting that you know what is best for me is presumptuous and, dare I say, unkind. I know myself and this situation better than anyone. I am the expert on my life. I asked for opinions. Some said delete him. Some said block him and delete him. I deleted him from my phone. That is the best course of action for me at the present time.
    Then you have resolved your own thread to your own liking. There is something else going on with you, I imagine since you had to discuss this particular thing to the point you have and due to the defensiveness in your reposts. In reality, it is a trivial matter that you were able to resolve by deleting him so what is really going on? I know you will call me "presumptuous" yet again, but the amount of "support" you appear to need about this when you've already resolved the issue seems like there is more to it than you've shared.

    I'm not "insisting" anything... I'm giving you my opinion, which you asked for by the sheer starting of your thread. I'm sorry that a lot of the replies weren't what you wanted to hear... I'm posting as I see it from what you've posted, no more, no less... You can ignore it or we can debate it. I'm willing to do either as long as you want to which I will assume you want to if you keep quoting me.

    I do wish you well and I hope you get the confidence to block him so that should he reach out, you won't know and you can keep your emotional response positive rather than the negative the brief reply bought out in you.

  4. #54
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Then you have resolved your own thread to your own liking. There is something else going on with you, I imagine since you had to discuss this particular thing to the point you have and due to the defensiveness in your reposts. In reality, it is a trivial matter that you were able to resolve by deleting him so what is really going on? I know you will call me "presumptuous" yet again, but the amount of "support" you appear to need about this when you've already resolved the issue seems like there is more to it than you've shared.

    I'm not "insisting" anything... I'm giving you my opinion, which you asked for by the sheer starting of your thread. I'm sorry that a lot of the replies weren't what you wanted to hear... I'm posting as I see it from what you've posted, no more, no less... You can ignore it or we can debate it. I'm willing to do either as long as you want to which I will assume you want to if you keep quoting me.

    I do wish you well and I hope you get the confidence to block him so that should he reach out, you won't know and you can keep your emotional response positive rather than the negative the brief reply bought out in you.
    If there is in fact "something else going on with me," why on earth would I share that with you when you have been belittling throughout this exchange?

    And, if you think this is such a waste of your time, move on to another thread.

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  6. #55
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    Originally Posted by nutbrownhare
    Please... in these dark days, one thing that really isn't rationed or in danger of running out is the ability to give comfort and support to others, if we choose to. If we don't, that's fine, and nobody should feel compelled to be sympathetic if they don't feel it. However, there's no need to make a point of not being sympathetic.

    "Be Kind!"
    Thank you. Big hugs to you as well.

  7. #56
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bighair
    If there is in fact "something else going on with me," why on earth would I share that with you when you have been belittling throughout this exchange?

    And, if you think this is such a waste of your time, move on to another thread.
    i didn't say any of it was a waste of my time. I knew you had more going on then an innocent butt dial by the importance you put on it. I don't think you would do well to post what else is going on because you are unable to hear anything that doesn't fit what you think you want to hear... or so it seems.

    I haven't been "belittling" I have had an alternative take on it then what you would like to hear which I'm sorry you are finding so hard to hear (read).

    Feel better... and I do hope that you get help (if you are not already) with the help of those that are professional and will guide you to come to terms with it rather then just hear soothing comments that won't do much to get you through to the other side.

    Seraphim has been good enough to start a thread for Covid19 isolation support. I hope you take advantage of it so you can alleviate some of that isolation feeling you are having.

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