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Thread: I want the love of my life back. I want to go with him.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    It's ok to be angry. Working through the grief is a process and is only dealt with through time.

  2. #12
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    Our relationship was fairly new by the time we were dating. We made plans to meet each others families down the road. We wanted to wait and enjoy our time as a couple before we met each others families. So his mom did know about me. Because he did tell her. That I existed. I never had her contact information and neither did she. His coworker knew about me as well. I can understand why she couldn't due to her son passing. But his friend he could had gone through his phone and find my number and ring me up. That is so unfair the way I had to find out. No, he wasnt long distance. He was local. So you can only imagine the state of shock I was in when I found out about his passing. And I just hope and pray to god he's seeing all this.






    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Can I ask if he was your soulmate and you were making plans for the future, why you found out about his death on facebook and not through his family? Not to seem insensitive, just trying to figure out the deal hear. Was it a long distance relationship? Had you never met is family or friends?

    In the meantime, while I wait for further details, I do hope that you order a copy of The Five Stages of Grief and read. It may help you to get to the stage of acceptance. Right now you are in the stage of Anger.

  3. #13
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    No, he was not long distance. Like I said I dont know anything. Which makes it tough.
    Yea, I thought so too. But that wasnt the case. We got back together shortly after. After that things were normal again after we reconciled. This was a month ago. So we were together.




    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    *snipped*
    Coolgirl Was this a long distance relationship? How did he die?
    From your other thread: "Previously dated" implies that you had broken up.

    Anyway... Please get the book The Five Stages of Grief. Hopefully it will get you past the agony of the stage of Anger and onto the blissful stage of acceptance. It's after you reach the stage of Acceptance that you will start to feel some relief to your grief.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by coolgirl
    Our relationship was fairly new by the time we were dating. We made plans to meet each others families down the road. We wanted to wait and enjoy our time as a couple before we met each others families. So his mom did know about me. Because he did tell her. That I existed. I never had her contact information and neither did she. His coworker knew about me as well. I can understand why she couldn't due to her son passing. But his friend he could had gone through his phone and find my number and ring me up. That is so unfair the way I had to find out. No, he wasnt long distance. He was local. So you can only imagine the state of shock I was in when I found out about his passing. And I just hope and pray to god he's seeing all this.
    Yes, I missed your followup post when I posted and snipped my original and reposted up above.

    Get the book The Five Stages of Grief. Hopefully it will help you get to the blissful stage of Acceptance. Once in that stage, you will be thinking more clearly and you will understand that there will be someone who you actually get to spend your life with that you will consider your "soul mate" and when you think of the guy that passed away, you won't be doing it in the agony that you're currently in. Time is your friend.

    In your other thread you said you had "previously dated" him. That implies that you had broken up so I can see why Wiseman thought you had broken up.

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  6. #15
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    Wiseman, I'm sorry for my angry outburst. Yes, we were broken up for a while. But we got back together shortly after. And we were on good terms after that. We talked things through and working on fixing our issues. Not every relationship is perfect. He made have had his flaws but that never ever stopped me from loving him.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    When was the last time you saw him or spoke to him? Just curious to understand the context a bit better, given some recent threads which gave the impression that you weren't in a relationship but exploring dating someone new.

    I'm so very sorry for what you've experienced, and what you are feeling right now. Are you alone, during this global health crisis? Or is there anyone you can talk to? We're here of course, to listen as best we can, but there are limitations to the kind of support we can offer in facing the very real monster that is grief.

    For whatever it's worth? Whenever I die, I hope that anyone and everyone I've ever loved, and who has ever loved me, will ultimately honor my passing by continuing to live, and to love.

  8. #17
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    I am never ever going to move on. Not without him. No one can ever replace him.





    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Yes, I missed your followup post when I posted and snipped my original and reposted up above.

    Get the book The Five Stages of Grief. Hopefully it will help you get to the blissful stage of Acceptance. Once in that stage, you will be thinking more clearly and you will understand that there will be someone who you actually get to spend your life with that you will consider your "soul mate" and when you think of the guy that passed away, you won't be doing it in the agony that you're currently in. Time is your friend.

    In your other thread you said you had "previously dated" him. That implies that you had broken up so I can see why Wiseman thought you had broken up.

  9. #18
    Gold Member waffle's Avatar
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    I've already responded in your other thread when I went through the same thing and my advice remains the same: get professional help, either in an individual setting or a group setting, whichever works for you.

    It sounds like you hadn't been in regular contact if you found out via his obituary that he had died. I guess I don't understand. If you were as close as you say you were . . . his family never contacted you? Did they know about you?

    edited to add: OK, I see--it was a new relationship. I would be careful about assigning labels like "soulmate" and "love of my life" in cases like this. I'm sure it's been a huge shock, I know first-hand, and grieving is natural.
    Last edited by waffle; 03-22-2020 at 01:26 PM.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by coolgirl
    I am never ever going to move on. Not without him. No one can ever replace him.
    Then why bother posting here? Just get on with not getting over him and suffering like you are over a mere three month relationship wherein I suspect you barely saw the man. I don't say that in malice, I just don't see why you need two threads on the same subject. Maybe a private journal would suit you better where you can not get over him without hearing people try to help you out of your misery, where you can get on not getting over him in peace.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by coolgirl
    No, he was not long distance. Like I said I dont know anything. Which makes it tough.
    Yea, I thought so too. But that wasnt the case. We got back together shortly after. After that things were normal again after we reconciled. This was a month ago. So we were together.
    This is why people are confused:
    [Register to see the link]

    I didn't realize that was the same man you're talking about here.

    It's impossible now to think about going on. I understand that. It's too soon and too fresh.

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