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Thread: Relationship in quarantine

  1. #1
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    Relationship in quarantine

    Tough times for everyone I know, I hope all here are keeping safe and well.

    I'm 6 months into a new relationship, it's going fantastic, we are both happy and had so many plans for the summer which of course are now gone.

    Unfortunately, she is front line with her job here in UK, and still has to mix with people, my town isn't in full lockdown but advised not to mix, I think full lockdown is a matter of days away tbh.

    How are people in relationships who don't live with their other halves coping with being in quarantine? It's likely we won't see each other for possibly 3 months now, even though she only lives 5 minutes away.

    In the grand scheme of things this isn't important of course but to me and her right now it is.

    We've both said absence makes the heart grow fonder but I'm so worried it might fizzle out with not seeing each other. I know it won't from me, I love her so much and she says the same but it's a worry...

  2. #2
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    It’s been 5 days apart for me and my new girlfriend (4 month long relationship.) I am in actual quarantine as my son is symptomatic.

    We were going to Italy in June so I can relate to summer plans being cancelled too lol!

    We were planning on riding this thing out together but when my son got a sore throat and started coughing we decided we better keep separate homes until we’re all clear.

    Of course being apart early in a relationship (or in a well established one) during a collectively disturbing time is a complication and has the potential for stress. I firmly believe it’s an opportunity for A thorough demonstration of love and compassion too. So far we’ve just been video chatting in the evenings and shooting each other a few texts throughout the day, calling occasionally during the day. We’ve both got kids with us so I guess that’s helpful as we have connection and company at home...

    One thing I believe strongly is that it isn’t fair to burden our partners with our own worries about the situation. Plus, when I’m seeking to comfort rather than be comforted, to understand what she’s going through rather than be understood...I find that I naturally have a more peaceful heart/mind situation going on with my inner life.

    Anyway, best wishes and thanks for posting this; I will be interested to here everyone’s thoughts on this thread!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You need to listen to your head instead of your heart meaning listen to prudence and common sense instead of worrying about the relationship. Health comes first. If your relationship becomes a casualty of COVID-19, at least you took the lesser of two evils and chose health as the top priority instead.

    Survival comes first. Just like jobs, paying bills (rent or mortgage), acquiring food and putting a roof over your head. Every man for himself. It's a survival thing.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I didn't get the impression that he wasn't being prudent. He understands the reality of the situation, is looking for ways to adapt to it, at least best I could see. Imagine a lot of people across the globe are navigating similar situations, similar concerns.

    I, for instance, am in "survival first" mode, in that I am following local protocol, staying in, keeping distance when on walks and picking up something essential like food, and so forth. But I am also thinking about my relationship, remaining active in it, seeing it as a living, breathing thing that requires attention and care during this moment. I live with my partner, so it's "easy," but if I didn't? It would remain a concern, not a button I could turn off.

    RKO? Think you just have to take this day to day, rather than fret too much about whether that means two more weeks or three months. Have faith that if you feel the connection you do, it's because it's potent, meaning she's feeling it too. Water those seeds with the means available: texts, chats, FaceTime, authenticity, and vulnerability. Those are the healthy choices right now—for both the big picture, and your precious little picture, and at the end of the day I think we're rewarded by making healthy choices.

    Wishing you—both of you, as individuals and as fledgling partners—the best in these strange times, and adapting to them.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Be prudent by doing everything virtual and make your health a top priority for the good of the whole. Make do. With COVID-19 pandemic, unfortunately, your relationship is secondary meaning you'll have to alter your lifestyle and relationship.

    Stay home, wash your hands, sanitize and you'll be ok!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are either you or her sick/in quarantine? Can you walk to each other's home or visit?
    Originally Posted by RKO
    How are people in relationships who don't live with their other halves coping with being in quarantine? she only lives 5 minutes away.

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    Neither in quarantine but she's front line, she is a pharmacist.
    We have been told by our (terrible) PM to stay indoors if possible, although I feel total lockdown is imminent.

    Of course, health is priority, here, although I'm pretty sure I've already had it tbh, same symptoms in December. I just don't want to pass it on to anyone.

    We've both said it's going to be strange, she thinks it's going to make her love her even more and I am as certain as I can be that nothing will change from my perspective.

    Just sucks I can't see her.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Yes it does suck. Maybe this is the time for virtual video dates?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RKO
    Neither in quarantine but she's front line, she is a pharmacist.
    We have been told by our (terrible) PM to stay indoors if possible, although I feel total lockdown is imminent.

    Of course, health is priority, here, although I'm pretty sure I've already had it tbh, same symptoms in December. I just don't want to pass it on to anyone.

    We've both said it's going to be strange, she thinks it's going to make her love her even more and I am as certain as I can be that nothing will change from my perspective.

    Just sucks I can't see her.
    You'll have to make do during this COVID-19 pandemic. Skype, face time, virtual, etc. Try those routes. Don't take chances, be prudent and know what you have to do as a responsible and conscienable citizen. Self-quarantining is not fun but it's better for society's health. Unfortunately, relationships are challenging to maintain. However, you have to do what you have to do.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    It would be the same if she were deployed military. One of my friends' husband is deployed. She hasn't seen him since November last year.

    It's tough, but we will ride this out. Hopefully sooner than later.

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