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Thread: Risk friendship for more?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Devi367
    Maybe TMI but I masturbate more often than all of the girls/women I personally know and am adventurous about it. Iím a virgin but Iím far from innocent. Iím tomboyish so often get treated as one of the guys. Which means he is far from the first guy Iíve watched porn with. I also watch porn regularly on my own so I canít judge him for that.

    I wouldnít be unhappy with friends with benefits but I know heís not the type of guy who could do that. Heís stated exasperatedly that he wished he could have one night stands but just canít because he catches feelings. Iíd be fine with dating long term too. We get along so well that we were both suspicious that the other was lying to ďfit inĒ for the first couple months.

    He works six days a week as an elderly care nurse, heís not a stay at home looser. Iím worth more than that. I definitely wouldnít be having sex with him just to stay here. Iíd be having sex with him because Iím a woman with needs whoís sexually attracted to him. I have places to go and Iím not trapped here.
    Then whats holding you back from initiating? I know you have a touch phobia but you seem to trust him so what's the deal?

    I'm not saying you should advance your friendship, personally my advice is that you don't but if you are wanting to, you don't see any problem with him as a partner, you don't think he'll be out doing others and that porn hasn't fried his brain then why the thread? Why not just go for it? In other words: Why are you having any second thoughts/why is your gut trying to tell you something? Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
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    Wow. I know I asked for advice but I think thereís a lot of assuming going on here. Iím not some helpless female trapped here with a pervert. I have a job, I have a working vehicle, I could pay rent at this point but he doesnít want me to. Heís happy with the things I do around the household.

    This is not the first arrangement Iíve had like this. This is how I live. If I go elsewhere it will be a similar arrangement. Iíve chosen this alternative lifestyle for myself.


    We are very respectful of each otherís privacy and limits. These casual touches are not anything most people would even notice but because of my touch phobia I do. Only on arms or legs below the knee, top of the head. Never in any way inappropriate.

    Since Iíve been open with people about my touch phobia it has almost become worse because people avoid any contact. Which wasnít my point in telling them. I just want people to know that if they accidentally touch me and I jerk away like Iíve been hurt itís not because they did anything wrong.

    Have none of you ever gotten a massage from a friend because your neck, back, feet or shoulders hurts? I know I have. Itís a clothes on non sexual thing.

    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Then whats holding you back from initiating? I know you have a touch phobia but you seem to trust him so what's the deal?

    I'm not saying you should advance your friendship, personally my advice is that you don't but if you are wanting to, you don't see any problem with him as a partner, you don't think he'll be out doing others and that porn hasn't fried his brain then why the thread? Why not just go for it? In other words: Why are you having any second thoughts/why is your gut trying to tell you something?
    My anxiety about doing much of anything new is pretty severe. Iíve had panic attacks just calling people.

    I guess I shouldnít have started the thread because no one really knows the situation. I donít mean to sound like I didnít want to hear any elseís opinion. I do and I respect them and very much appreciate the concern you guys have shown for my wellbeing. You guys are right. There are some major red flags and reason for concern here but there are some on my side for him as well Iím sure.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What alternative is this?
    Originally Posted by Devi367
    This is not the first arrangement Iíve had like this. If I go elsewhere it will be a similar arrangement. Iíve chosen this alternative lifestyle for myself.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    What alternative is this?
    I live off grid. Work mostly for trade and deal in money only when I absolutely have to. When I travel I live out of my vehicle(Truck with camper). I quit a very good job for this and have yet to regret it.

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