Is My Ex Just Using Me?

I (25M) have recently started talking talking my my ex (24F) after six months of being broken up. It was a rocky break up and about 5 months after leaving me we didn’t talk at all, we stayed Facebook friends and on good terms but that was all. I noticed during that 5 month span she was talking to another guy but they were never really official, I was happy for her but recently I noticed her posting some depressing things on Facebook and I realized they must have had a falling out. Around the same time of her posting things she started reaching out to me about once or twice a week asking how I was, wanting to play online games with me, and recently she asked to hang out in person as well. I accepted because I want to have a good friendship with her and I did miss her. During our hangout we had a really good time, it was almost like old times but we kept everything completely platonic although during our hangout she had some short moments where I could see her staring off into space and she would just tell me she just needs to keep her mind off of things.

The next week after hanging out she was still talking to me regularly and setting up more plans of things we should do then all of a sudden it fell off out of nowhere. She stopped contacting me regularly. She still responds to me but it’s like she is putting no effort into our conversations now. It’s only been two weeks, I have a feeling some new guy or the old guy came back into her life so she put me on the back burner. I feel like I’m just her emotional support or someone to get her mind off of other people while she’s going through hard times. We last talked yesterday, but I think I’m going to stop reaching out. Do you think that was the right move? I do want to have a good relationship with her but if she is only reaching out for her own needs I might just move on.

My ex did the same thing. Whenever he had a fight with the woman he was involved with (who he cheated on me with and dumped me to be with) he would contact me, saying all kinds of nice things about me. As soon as they made up the contact would stop, only to start again the next fight. It was immature and a waste of my time so I just cut him off completely.

Do you honestly want to be friends? Or are you hoping for reconciliation? Be totally honest with yourself if not with us.

You seem to have a good grasp of it. This would be a good course of action:

I have a feeling some new guy or the old guy came back into her life so she put me on the back burner. I feel like I’m just her emotional support or someone to get her mind off of other people while she’s going through hard times. I think I’m going to stop reaching out.

There is no benefit to you having her on your FB or life in general. Stop being friends, block/delete and move on finally.

Yes, she is using you to take her mind off her break-up.

This won't end well for you, man. Time to let go of her for good.