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Thread: Sour break up

  1. #1

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    Sour break up

    So I met this woman at work, she is a widow her husband died about two years ago. She seemed so wholesome, treated everyone nice and acted professionally. We dated for about a month, went on 3 dates. We texted regularly me doing most of the texting on a daily basis. She asked questions like if I wanted kids hinting at something long term. Our third date I introduced her to my mother, we watched a movie, and we "hooked up" and she went down on me so to say. After this a few days later she told me shes not interested in a long term relationship and she no longer wants to date but wanted to be friends and talk. I foolishly texted her I was going to tell her I loved her but I didn't want to scare her away thinking maybe she broke things off because perhaps I did not say this. She said "Love is a big word" , and in so many words told me that she is interested in dating other people, she is figuring out who she is without her husband and is not ready for commitment. I was thrown off guard, I had been under the impression she wanted something long term but we never really discussed it. I felt like a fool for saying I love you, and I posted my thoughts on facebook. She was pretty upset I posted my thoughts on facebook even though we don't share many friends but I managed to mend things with her, told her I would like to be friends and that I understood that she is figuring things out for herself. I was so depressed, I posted something else on facebook, just seeking support and I checked in with her a few days later and she thought I purposely posted it to make her feel bad. This was not my intention. I deleted the post. A week later I get a friend request from her on facebook. I don't know if it was some kind of glitch in fb or she pressed the wrong button but I went to check her profile and saw that I was blocked. Thinking this was some weird cry for help I messaged one of her friends to check on her. Her friend said she was fine and that I need to back off and leave her alone. Then she texted me saying not to talk to her friends about her, Im making her uncomfortable and that I had been looking at her plenty of fish account. I didn't even realize she was on plenty of fish and never looked at her profile. So she basically accused me of stalking and said that it was unusual that I texted her the moment she blocked me and that said a lot to her. Luckily I work for an agency so I can choose where I work and don't have to go back there if I don't want to. Should I stay away from her totally? I mean I don't want to avoid a decent workplace over something stupid like this. Should I try sending her a message? Leave it alone?

  2. #2
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    I don't understand why you chose to air personal details of your dating life on fb. That's pretty inappropriate and shows very little respect for her privacy. I can understand why she'd be upset. Not to admonish you, but to point out that you should maintain much stronger boundaries when it comes to your love life. Yes, you should stay away from her totally. I'm sure she's not interested in interacting with you anymore. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.

  3. #3

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    Originally Posted by jul-els
    I don't understand why you chose to air personal details of your dating life on fb. That's pretty inappropriate and shows very little respect for her privacy. I can understand why she'd be upset. Not to admonish you, but to point out that you should maintain much stronger boundaries when it comes to your love life. Yes, you should stay away from her totally. I'm sure she's not interested in interacting with you anymore. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.
    I was very vague, I simply posted a quote "the worst feeling is when you find out someone that you care about doesn't feel the same way as you and you feel so stupid for caring too much."

  4. #4
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    You dont need to be a genius to be able to work out who and why you posted that about though.

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  6. #5

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    Originally Posted by ninjabib
    You dont need to be a genius to be able to work out who and why you posted that about though.
    No you wouldn't. Considering I told no one we were dating, you'd have to be psychic.

  7. #6
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    That is true. My bad. I struggled to get through your post as its a wall of text. Cut it into paragraphs and people will be more forthcoming.

  8. #7
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    Well, if it was written in only a way that she knew you were talking about her, then she probably felt egged on by it. Even though only you and her know what you're referring to, you're still broadcasting it in public. A very poor method of communication to say the least. It's passive aggressive, really. Still shows a large amount of disrespect.

  9. #8

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    Originally Posted by jul-els
    Well, if it was written in only a way that she knew you were talking about her, then she probably felt egged on by it. Even though only you and her know what you're referring to, you're still broadcasting it in public. A very poor method of communication to say the least. It's passive aggressive, really. Still shows a large amount of disrespect.


    I agree. I only had the post up for one night and took it down. I was overwhelmed with emotion when I posted it. I apologized to her and we mended things. I did however post that I was feeling down and she said I posted it just to make her feel like crap, which I did not. I truly was seeking support. She was more mad about my post seeking support than the first post.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I'm curious to know why you use Facebook posts to ask for support instead of calling or messaging a friend.

    It does seem like attention-seeking when you post things like that on social media.

  11. #10

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    I was overwhelmed with emotion and needed some cheering up. I realize it was stupid.

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