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Thread: Sour break up

  1. #11
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Well, lesson learned for your next dating experience.

    And no, absolutely do NOT send her a message!

  2. #12

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Well, lesson learned for your next dating experience.

    And no, absolutely do NOT send her a message!


    What about closure for me? sure I know what not to do next time. This was the first person I dated in ten years. One would think you might make mistakes if your not a dating expert like yourself. Cut me some slack.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by murman37
    What about closure for me? sure I know what not to do next time. This was the first person I dated in ten years. One would think you might make mistakes if your not a dating expert like yourself. Cut me some slack.
    No. Don't send her a message for closure or any other reasons. She couldn't have been clearer - stop contacting her.

    Closure comes from accepting the decision she has already made. That's all there is to it.

  4. #14

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    Accepted it. Still feel like total garbage. What now?

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Closure comes from accepting the decision she has already made. That's all there is to it.
    This.

    I get that this threw you emotionally, and for that whiplash I'm sorry. But just as you are a person with feelings, so is she, and she has made hers clear. In respecting those feelings with silence you are stepping up, as a person, and you've got to have faith in that rather than think that some exchange with her is the thing that's going to restore faith.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by murman37
    Accepted it. Still feel like total garbage. What now?
    Learn from it going forward and don't repeat the same mistake in the future. We all make mistakes. It sucks, but they're there to teach us something about ourselves. You take that knowledge and apply it to your life going forward.

  8. #17

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    Wouldn’t you guys agree that it was immature of her to hook up then break up? Shouldn’t she have made her intentions more clear? I get that talking to her is out of the question and thank you for the kind responses it’s helping me put things into perspective.

  9. #18

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    Especially since she asked ME out

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by murman37
    Wouldn’t you guys agree that it was immature of her to hook up then break up? Shouldn’t she have made her intentions more clear? I get that talking to her is out of the question and thank you for the kind responses it’s helping me put things into perspective.
    No, I can't agree with that. You went on three dates, OP. There was really nothing to break up from. She was well within her proverbial rights to call it off whenever she wanted. She actually did the mature thing by letting you know she wasn't feeling it, even if you two had already gotten intimate in some way. And yes, even if she asked you out first. That point isn't particularly relevant.

    You seem to believe she owes you something here. She doesn't, man. She went out with you a few times and realized there wasn't enough interest there for her to continue. It would have made absolutely no sense to continue seeing you. It sucks, I know, but that's what dating is about. We meet different people and sometimes it just isn't a match. This was one of those times for her.

    I have to wonder, though, if she was picking up on the fact that you were already very attached. You say you told her you loved her (after she ended it, I know) and honestly, that's an awful lot for 3 dates and a month of getting to know each other. Your response to continue trying to message her - and then her friend - really does make me question if she had already sensed that you were miles ahead of her in terms of wanting to commit and insert yourself in her life. That can be off-putting when we're still in the very early stages. You might be giving off that impression without even realizing it.

  11. #20

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    I think you’re right. I think she picked up on it, felt bad and hooked up with me as a gesture. I know I seem like I’m going back and forth here. I am trying to work out my emotions but I want to do and think what’s right. I think if I wasn’t as passionate she wouldn’t have hooked up with me at all

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