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Thread: breaking up 4 years relationship and third party situation

  1. #11
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    but what does this even mean?? does he love her? why isnt he all inclusive with her if he chosed her already? I dont get it, I dont understand why and what is he doing

  2. #12
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    I keep imagining them both happy and laughing and in love . and laughing at me... Whenever I watch a movie or read a book about new love starting or love at first sign and everything that follows, I imagine the two of them. Don't get me wrong, I am a girl with hobbies. I paint, I play the piano, I cycle, I hike, I love reading books, I learn new language right now... but they are in my mind. And all I want is to go to sleep because then my mind is silent. If , of course, I dont dream about them being happy..

  3. #13
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatKind
    but what does this even mean??
    What this meansóthe only part you can really hold ontoóis that this man is far, far, far from the man you once believed him to be. Whether some of these qualities weren't noticeable because you two were long distance for so long, or whether he's just skidding out, the bottom line here is that he has become a person who is toxic for youómentally, emotionally.

    Keep giving him access to you, and keep using him as a thermometer to take the temperature of your own worth, and you will keep getting sick. Just as we are all social distancing right now to avoid coming into contact with something toxic, this is a moment, in your personal world, to create very real distance from the emotional virus that this man has become.

    With that distance you will be able to move through some feelings of grief and mourningóand, with that, you'll find some clarity. Asking him to provide clarity right now is like asking a tornado to provide shelter.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sadly he is playing both of you. Don't stand for it. Watch the actions, not the words. He is telling her the same rubbish he is telling you.
    Originally Posted by ThatKind
    He says that she is not that interesting to him anymore.He says he imagines his future only with me but that's it. He says all this but still chooses her at the end of the day...

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  6. #15
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    I cant take it anymore. I cant take another day with the thought of them two happy and laughing over me, being intimate and sharing deep personal informations. I dont want to live. Sorry if I failed you all and thank you for all your advice, but maybe life isnt for everyone

  7. #16
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    OP, you need to reach out to a friend or family member immediately.

    Alternatively, contact a suicide hotline in your area. Your emotional distress is gravely concerning.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Take care of your emotional and physical health. Get to a doctor asap. Use a telemedicine service or call a suicide line. Never go off medication then get suicidal. Move back home .
    Originally Posted by ThatKind
    We had a long-distance relationship. An hourís plane rides away
    he decided he wanted to break up. The reason he said was that the distance was too much.
    I had a depression episode. I took antidepressants, but for two months only

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