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Thread: Boyfriend doesnt trust me. Will he leave?

  1. #71
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Please see my previous post.
    That doesnt tell me why people think that. Only that you say im chosing not to believe it. At the moment i dont believe it as i dont see enough evidence to support it

  2. #72
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    Rosie, have you posted before? Under a different username?

    I ask because the looped questioning is very similar to a poster we had some time back, who got together with a guy under similar circumstances. That thread too went around in circles with the poster essentially asking the same questions over and over.

    Or it is just a coincidence?

  3. #73
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Rosie, have you posted before? Under a different username?

    I ask because the looped questioning is very similar to a poster we had some time back, who got together with a guy under similar circumstances. That thread too went around in circles with the poster essentially asking the same questions over and over.

    Or it is just a coincidence?
    No i have never posted on here before. Also i wasnt aware i was going round in circles. I apologise. I was just trying to get clarification as to why people thought what they do as i dont think there is enough substantial evidence to suggest that they are already reconcilling.

  4. #74
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    He would have gone back to spend time at her home the next day except he got called into work.

    Your words.

    He wanted to go visit again but couldn't.

    And I'm sure you'll pretend it was just to see the kids or something. You know, the kids he refuses to support financially but suddenly cares so much about seeing. Sure.

  5.  

  6. #75
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    He would have gone back to spend time at her home the next day except he got called into work.

    Your words.

    He wanted to go visit again but couldn't.

    And I'm sure you'll pretend it was just to see the kids or something. You know, the kids he refuses to support financially but suddenly cares so much about seeing. Sure.
    I believe it was for the children as he had not seen them in months before that day. They have arranged for him to take one of them out at the weekend and then i believe he is going to hers the following day to see them as it is one of thems birthday. I think he has just missed them and wants to make up for lost time with them whilst he can incase the argue again and he doesnt get the chance to see them like before

  7. #76
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    He sounds like a terrible father. No visits and no support. How can you respect a man like this?

    Have you seen any messages between him and his ex? he is policing your behavior.

  8. #77
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    He sounds like a terrible father. No visits and no support. How can you respect a man like this?

    Have you seen any messages between him and his ex? he is policing your behavior.
    No i havent seen any messages between them but i dont think they message all that much. Maybe once a day or every couple of days.

    And he had no money to give out. We struggle to make ends meet as it is. We rarely go out and i have cut his smoking down to save on money.

    And he had no visits as he said she would not allow him to see the children and had conditions as to when he could which included her being present

  9. #78
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rosiebabe97
    I was just trying to get clarification as to why people thought what they do as i dont think there is enough substantial evidence to suggest that they are already reconcilling.
    I'll try to play lawyer here for a moment.

    Let's start with the "mystery man," and the specifics there, right down to your brand of birth control. Who, in your life, has that information aside from him? Small number, I assume. In that small pool who would want to hurt you, ruin your relationship? Do you have a catty friend? A jealous, dramatic ex in orbit? If the answer is no, then it just points back to him. And her.

    People show you who they are, if you're willing to listen. Example: He seems to talk to you a lot about his ex—her house, her feelings, her desire to get back together, and so on. That is a character trait, and if you put your ego aside, and stop thinking of that as some show of trust, it's easy to imagine that he has probably talked to her about you in one of their numerous heated exchanges. Who knows the whens, the hows, the whys—doesn't matter.

    Given the specifics here, he is the only person who had the "mystery man"'s information and she is the only person who would gain by your relationship with him ending—either because she wants him back, or because she's hurt and petty and wants to hurt him back. The icing on the cake, really, is that he opted not to meet this person—because, well, he knows this person doesn't exist. He knows it's a phantom created by him, his ex, and the roiling drama between them.

    Make sense? You can choose to break your brain to try to come up with a different story, but those stories don't hold water.

  10. #79
    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I'll try to play lawyer here for a moment.

    Let's start with the "mystery man," and the specifics there, right down to your brand of birth control. Who, in your life, has that information aside from him? Small number, I assume. In that small pool who would want to hurt you, ruin your relationship? Do you have a catty friend? A jealous, dramatic ex in orbit? If the answer is no, then it just points back to him. And her.

    People show you who they are, if you're willing to listen. Example: He seems to talk to you a lot about his ex—her house, her feelings, her desire to get back together, and so on. That is a character trait, and if you put your ego aside, and stop thinking of that as some show of trust, it's easy to imagine that he has probably talked to her about you in one of their numerous heated exchanges. Who knows the whens, the hows, the whys—doesn't matter.

    Given the specifics here, he is the only person who had the "mystery man"'s information and she is the only person who would gain by your relationship with him ending—either because she wants him back, or because she's hurt and petty and wants to hurt him back. The icing on the cake, really, is that he opted not to meet this person—because, well, he knows this person doesn't exist. He knows it's a phantom created by him, his ex, and the roiling drama between them.

    Make sense? You can choose to break your brain to try to come up with a different story, but those stories don't hold water.
    There are a few people with access to the information and a few people i believe would do something like that so i cant point it towards him, or even her as much as i would love to be able to. Also it was him that originally suggested going to the police.

    He doesnt really speak to me about her, he tells me a few things but others i hear through people at work that know her as well as him and have her on social media. He did tell me about the house but thats about it really. And that it was best if she didnt see me. So i dont believe they would be talking about me as he is too worried that she will use me to come between him and the children again

  11. #80
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    What advice are you really seeking from us at this point, Rosie?

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