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Thread: Boyfriend doesnt trust me. Will he leave?

  1. #31
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    You don't seem to want to answer this:
    "What about him and this situation do you find attractive and appealing?

    When you imagined your perfect relationship did it include your boyfriend hiding you and spending time with his ex? Did it include fights at work? "

    Is it because the only reason is because he gives you attention and you don't feel like you can get attention anywhere else? What is so great about this guy? And something better than "But I LOVE him!!!", I hope.
    No that is not how i imagined it to be. But then im sure no one expects it to be that way

  2. #32
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    "His ex messaged him out of the blue a few weeks ago after a few months of no contact and they arranged to meet. They have text a few times inbetween before meeting and met for a few hours at the weekend. He went to her place. I dropped him off and picked him up but he wanted me to do it round the corner from hers saying it would just cause problems if she saw me. They have arranged to meet again and he wouldve already gone back to hers the next day had he not have been called into work.

    I know they have children together and i trust him but i also know she still wants him back.


    Im worried that now shes back in the picture and we are arguing about him trusting me that he is going to start leaning more towards her as he can see what he gave up to be with me."

    Nope, you don't trust him. And for good reason. He flipped from her to you and potentially back to her again.

    What again is so fantastic about this guy? He used to cook for you? That's all it takes?

  3. #33
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rosiebabe97
    No that is not how i imagined it to be. But then im sure no one expects it to be that way
    For good reason, it's an unhealthy relationship. He gets everything while you get stress and worry and anxiety.

  4. #34
    Originally Posted by nutbrownhare
    He doesn't trust you, yet you claim that he values you, and keeps your wants and needs met? Don't your needs include trust from him, especially if you've given him no reason not to?

    I'm going back to my original question: if trust isn't an essential requirement in a relationship, then what is?

    You claim you trust him, yet you're clearly worried about him leaving. In relationships where there is trust, this thought doesn't even arise. Honest!
    Its more her that i dont trust as i know she still wants him back and will do anything to get him. She jas told him she holds no regard for my feelings and that nothing i say means anything to her.

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  6. #35
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    Originally Posted by Rosiebabe97
    No that is not how i imagined it to be. But then im sure no one expects it to be that way
    The difference between yourself and someone with a healthy self-regard is that the latter, having seen how it was turning out, would run like the wind.

    Nobody on here can tell you whether he'll leave or not. However, you've been given a great deal of advice on how to take care of yourself by not being party to someone else's dysfunctional shenanigans!

  7. #36
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rosiebabe97
    Its more her that i dont trust as i know she still wants him back and will do anything to get him. She jas told him she holds no regard for my feelings and that nothing i say means anything to her
    Nothing you say means anything to him either. If it did, he'd not even ask you to drive him to be with her never mind instruct you to hide so she doesn't see you.

    Girl, you are deep in the river of denial.

    Originally Posted by Rosiebabe97
    He does keep my needs and wants met and shows me he values me.
    If that were actually true, you have very shallow standards. However: It's not true... If your needs and wants were being met, you wouldn't have to start a thread. You'd be happy and content and secure as two nested love birds... his action would keep you that way and not anxiety ridden and in fear of him going back to her.

  8. #37
    Her and the children have recently moved from her parents into a 3 bed house and he has said how nice it was and about the work she is doing on it. She has satelite tv and wifi and an upto date games console, mulitple tvs. Everything. And we just have a room in a family members 2 bed flat with no internet or tv, just a dvd player to watch films. She is living a happy and confortable life and we struggle to make ends meet. I feel she will use this to her advantage.


    Also his family do not like me or my family and have told him they would rather he was back with her, that they dont agree with what he has done. They are still very much involved in her life and have very little to do with us

  9. #38
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    He hides you, doesn't provide for his children, (child support) has no means of transportation and gets to "play" the both of you. What a deal!

    Keep in mind that history has a tendency to repeat itself, and remaining in denial changes nothing.

  10. #39
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rosiebabe97
    Her and the children have recently moved from her parents into a 3 bed house and he has said how nice it was and about the work she is doing on it. She has satelite tv and wifi and an upto date games console, mulitple tvs. Everything. And we just have a room in a family members 2 bed flat with no internet or tv, just a dvd player to watch films. She is living a happy and confortable life and we struggle to make ends meet. I feel she will use this to her advantage.


    Also his family do not like me or my family and have told him they would rather he was back with her, that they dont agree with what he has done. They are still very much involved in her life and have very little to do with us
    Yes, he will likely go back with her because she can give him everything he doesn't have to work for... he's a user and a p-poor man to plan on living the rest of your life with.

    Why don't you do yourself a favor and leave now before he leaves you. At least you'll be taking back your personal power from him. The man doesn't even drive and expect you to drive him. Despicable! Is the car your's as well?

  11. #40
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Is the car your's as well?
    Yes the car is mine. I have had it since before we got together. His ex has even actually tried saying its the only reason he is with me

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