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Thread: Hed rather jerk off than have sex with me

  1. #11
    Thank you everyone for the advice

  2. #12
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ComfyHoodie
    Yeah. I feel that way. I honestly dont feel interested in finding another dude. Hes a really great guy. Its just this that bothers me. Thanks for the advice.
    What's so great about him? It's been 4 years and you have a child together and he will not marry you, will not grow up and take on the responsibilities of an adult. He escapes to go live with his parents. You admit that you are pretty much raising your son as a single mother because this guy doesn't step up. On top of that, he refuses intimacy and would rather get off on porn.

    You don't have a partner, you have a manchild and you are calling this great? Come on. You only have this one life. Stop wasting it on trying to make this work with a guy who doesn't have the capacity to be fully present in the relationship and never did.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ComfyHoodie
    Yeah. I feel that way. I honestly dont feel interested in finding another dude. Hes a really great guy. Its just this that bothers me. Thanks for the advice.
    Then start by sitting down with him with your plan regarding date nights and how excited you are to get back to being romantic partners and not just mommy and daddy.

    Don't let anyone talk you into no longer thinking he is a really great guy, if you're thinking that then all you need to do is get back to courting basics and get that spark back once again. I'm not saying he'll stop wanking altogether (most wouldn't) but he'll at least (hopefully) be showing you how he values you once you start showing him how you value him.

  4. #14
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    When is the last time you made arrangements with a trusted babysitter to look after the babe and you and your b/f went out and courted one another like you used to in the beginning? You (you and he) can't just be mommy and daddy and forego boyfriend/girlfriend mode and expect the want for making love still be forefront in the mind.

    He masturbates because he needs to release and he can do so without much fuss whereas making love takes effort, stamina, energy and mental attraction to one another. Mental attraction starts outside the bedroom.

    You are both far too young to be taking your relationship for granted. You'll never last a lifetime together if the two of you are so cavalier about your date nights and time away from the kid.

    I disagree that this is any form of porn addiction and rather a case of being indifferent to one another during your time together. Get back to basics, consider your boyfriend/girlfriend roles more and get that babysitter working for you.

    Sadly dating outside the home right now is difficult with Covid19 so be creative with your indoor date nights. Turn off your phones, turn on the music, play board games (not on your phone), make dinner together, learn the beautiful art of conversation and I think you'll find that your emotional connection has been reinvented.
    Thank you so much for this advice :)

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  6. #15
    Thank you to everyone for all your insights

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    What's so great about him? It's been 4 years and you have a child together and he will not marry you, will not grow up and take on the responsibilities of an adult. He escapes to go live with his parents. You admit that you are pretty much raising your son as a single mother because this guy doesn't step up. On top of that, he refuses intimacy and would rather get off on porn.

    You don't have a partner, you have a manchild and you are calling this great? Come on. You only have this one life. Stop wasting it on trying to make this work with a guy who doesn't have the capacity to be fully present in the relationship and never did.
    I agree. He sounds like no prize.

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