Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 20 of 20

Thread: How to breakup with someone who can't let you go?

  1. #11

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    11
    Before he met me, he told me he was going to end it. He said I saved his life. Do I leave someone like that? Would you?

  2. #12

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    11
    my bad I was just venting. In my next forum, I will use paragraphs in the next forum.

  3. #13

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    11
    So you think none of it was real, he was just trying to keep a close eye on me? Why would someone do that?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    37,531
    Gender
    Male
    When someone threatens suicide they are either too unstable to be in a relationship or being manipulative.

    Either way no you do not play God, doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, parent etc. If he tells you this again tell him you are calling EMS and sending them to his house. Never play with people's lives like this.

    You need to speak to a trust adult about this. Also stop hiding and escaping into weed and making bad decisions as a result.
    Originally Posted by tacos123
    Before he met me, he told me he was going to end it. He said I saved his life. Do I leave someone like that?

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    10,424
    Gender
    Female
    Yes you leave someone like that, in fact you never even start up with them.

    Please understand that you are not helping him, you are stopping him from getting the professional help that he needs. The moment someone threatens you with suicide, you call emergency services and let them take over and provide the professional medical help that he needs. You step away and keep away permanently. Otherwise, you are enabling him to exist as he is without getting the help that he needs.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,436
    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Yes you leave someone like that, in fact you never even start up with them.

    Please understand that you are not helping him, you are stopping him from getting the professional help that he needs. The moment someone threatens you with suicide, you call emergency services and let them take over and provide the professional medical help that he needs. You step away and keep away permanently. Otherwise, you are enabling him to exist as he is without getting the help that he needs.
    Totally agree.

    You should also address your codependency.

  8. #17

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    11
    He didn't threaten suicide with me. He just told me he wanted to end it. But then I met him and I gave him hope and told him to keep pushing through.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,984
    Gender
    Female
    Staying with someone as some sort of obligation is never the right reason to stay. When he isn't a happy, fulfilled person to begin with, he's not relationship material. A person who is ready for a relationship already has that part down pat, and seeks to share joy with a companion, not seek to "find" joy by snagging a woman as a possession to jealously guard.

    If you're not learning this lesson, now, you should no longer date yourself, because you don't know how to recognize red flags and obviously don't have a must-have list and a dealbreaker list.

    I did have a 2 year relationship as a teen and he became controlling and possessive. When I told him I was breaking up, he threatened suicide but I wasn't about to let him emotionally blackmail me. I told his family what he said so they could take over from there. He ended up marrying a bubbly woman and had 3 kids and seems to be a very happy person, according to mutual friends.

    It's his manipulation of you that has you thinking he'll break into a million pieces if you leave. Go ahead and be a puppet if you like, with him operating those strings with great satisfaction.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,814
    Originally Posted by tacos123
    I understand. But what if it was you? Would you leave someone you love struggling? I just want your opinion
    To put it simply, yes. In reality, I recognize that life is a lot more complicated when emotions are involved... at the end of the day though, you aren't doing him any favors by staying if you aren't happy. Rather than putting it on him to make the decision, you need to take responsibility and communicate how you are feeling.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    9,835
    Originally Posted by tacos123
    He didn't threaten suicide with me. He just told me he wanted to end it. But then I met him and I gave him hope and told him to keep pushing through.
    As you grow older and more experienced, you will realize just how manipulative this is.

    Yes, I would end this relationship. It is incredibly toxic and unsustainable. You are not qualified to be his mom or his therapist. The kind of help and supports he needs is far beyond what you can reasonably give. I know you care about him, but this isn't a relationship anymore. It's a terribly unhealthy codependency, and if you feel he will hurt himself, alert his family or emergency services.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •