Finally Broken Up

So some of you may remember the massive amounts of drama I had in my relationship with getting engaged and rings and whatnot... Well it saddens me to say that we are no longer together.

I have no idea why I feel the need to tell anyone, because I feel very embarrassed by the whole ordeal, but here I am. A broken man.

We split in January after 5 years of major ups and downs throughout our relationship. I love her so deeply, so madly, so intensely that I'm really struggling to cope with the whole thing. It was only a couple weeks ago that I found out she's now having sex with a guy literally a few doors away from my house, and it's getting me down even more.

I want her back, but it's never going to happen and I have to see her smug face coming out of another mans house, daily.

We did have sex again last week, but it all broke off again and they're continuing to do their thing. I feel by that one slip up, it's totally drained my energy and I'm severely depressed.

I don't know what to do or how to even begin to cope, especially now since she is literally defecting on my doorstep.

Any advise would be appreciated.

Please help.

I want to start by saying I'm sorry. This sucks. And it is very painful to deal with.

What the What is wrong with her?? She should be completely ashamed of herself. Having sex with two people that live on the same street. eew!

I know you want her back. She probably knows, too. And that is what is really messed up on her part. When one is moving on and the other person isnt, these actions really say a lot about her... Self-centered, only thinking of herself, not considering your feelings...

Yes. she has every right to do whatever she wants now that you are broken up. The guy being your neighbor is awfully weird, but she should not be jerking you around.

Now you know the pain dealing with this woman causes. You have every right to be mad. She's sleeping with you AND YOUR NEIGHBOR....

You deserve better... that's super trashy.. And I'd say that about it if she were a guy, too....

You dodged a bullet. Remember that.

I didn't remember your original threads but i read them and i can't believe you stayed with her for so long. She sounds like an absolute nightmare. Almost as bad that you put up with it!

That was a very toxic relationship to read about it. To stick with each other for 5 years of that seems insane!

Still the good thing is that it's over now and you have a whole new life to look forward to!

Dont date someone who tries to push your buttons, especially if they know how! Shes doing it now with the guys a few doors down. Pure spite.

Run from vindictive people at 1000mph.

Good luck for the future!

I know you probably don't feel this way right now, but thank goodness! That woman (and the relationship) was a toxic nightmare.

Now, I would recommend doing some deep soul searching about why you wanted to be tethered to this woman for the rest of your life.

I am so sorry that you are going through such heartbreak, humiliation and despair. Your ex gf slept with you last week to keep you hooked on her and to maintain control. She does NOT love you or the new guy she is with either. This is all a game to her, and she uses sex to keep you attached. She knows that her sex is good, and she uses it as a controlling tool.

If she is sleeping with both of you in such a close proximity, then she is triangulating the two of you, perhaps to spark a competition between you guys. She is a drama queen who thrives on excitement and you need to cut her off completely. Having sex maintains the spiritual soul tie to her, and it keeps you stuck in quick sand.

As a woman that has been the subject of a similar love triangle in years past, I can tell you that she doesnt love or care about you. Shes using both of you for validation. Thats it. My ex tolerated me having a side dude even though he hated it. But he knew that it was just a matter of time before the side dude "messed up" and would be dumped without a second thought- and I would move on as if he never existed.

You are the side dude in your situation. She slept with you and went on back to the new guy, knowing that you're still hurting from the breakup. And she doesnt care. She DOES NOT care. Shes caught up in the excitement of some new attention and validation. You are now a backup source.

Take your power back today and disappear. Dont call her, speak to her and stop sleeping with her. Move away so that you dont even see her anymore. Block her on social media, phone and email. Let her wonder what you've been up to. Take that time to lick your wounds, heal and pull yourself together. She will wonder what's going on with you, and may even reach out. Hopefully, for your sake, she will realize that she can get her needs met elsewhere and she will not contact you, sealing the breakup as permanent.

You have to see her for the manipulative, selfish woman that she really is. Even if she reaches out, what good will come of it? You've had a tumultuous 5 years with her already. How many more years do you want to waste on her?? Now shes added a new guy into the mix. What if she has other sex buddies that you dont even know about? Is this how you want to live the rest of your life?

Do some soul searching and understand that you deserve better. If you keep interacting with her, she will devastate you to the point that you will have no choice but to leave her alone.

It just occurred to me who this guy is... So at the time when we were engaged, she was approached by a guy called Peter on the street and he flirted with her and she took his number. I remember getting pissed off at her for it and when she showed me a pic of him, I laughed because he looked like bearnie from the muppets show. But for some reason, she protected him and shouted at me and went totally off.

So she actually cheated on me with this guy. Turns out he goes to my gym as well. I’m so furious! Why would she do this???

Thanks for your advise everyone, it’s helping!

Because she's not a nice person. Make sure she's blocked on everything and move on.

What you are going through is very difficult. I know a couple who have been together for nearly 10 years in a very good relationship until his partner wanted a baby and he said no. So they split, and she went with another guy, got married and pregnant within 3-4 months.

Life continues, try not to put yourself down anymore. Get up, get your mind busy and move around.

Yes, when an ex appears with someone new soon after the breakup, 9 times out of 10 they were already around when they were still with you.

She is a deceitful, disloyal woman- continue to process the breakup and see her for what she really is. Feel the anger, sadness and range of emotions. You are now well on your way to healing. Once you get through the stage of acceptance- 1)that she is who she is. 2) that she will never change or feel bad for what she put you through, and 3)that she just isnt the right person for you-- it's smooth sailing from there.

It wont always hurt as bad as it does right now. One day, you wont feel a single thing at all for her- not anger or sadness, just indifference. Youll light a candle and thank the universe that she is someone else's problem now. The new guy just stepped into your old shoes- and all the turmoil, pain, deception, lies and stress that she put you through is now all his for the taking.

Ps. Transfer that gym membership to a different location. Avoid both of them as much as possible for your sanity, healing and peace of mind.

Absolutely sever all ties.

Well I haven’t spoken to her in 2 weeks. I sent an angry email, and it actually released all of my hurt. Today felt better, but I know I’m gonna fluctuate from day to day.

She hurt me something rotten. At this point, it’s unforgivable and the mere thought of her revolts me. It’s mad how one day I fancy the pants off of her and then switch to being absolutely repelled by not just her looks, but her entire existence. Didn’t think I’d see the day.