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Thread: 6 Days of Joy Ended Suddenly

  1. #1
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    6 Days of Joy Ended Suddenly

    I met a woman a week ago and we really hit it off. We have spent 5 nights together – all night. Our time together felt magical. We would send each other an e-mail in the morning, or she would call, and we felt connected. I could tell that she was really into me. Heck, she had asked me out.
    Three days ago I told her I was getting together with my neighbors last night and that we were going out. I invited her and she was happy about that.
    Well, this past Friday AM I sent her a quick e-mail to say “hi” and tell her I was thinking about her.
    No response.
    Later in the day I had a missed call from her, but there was no voicemail (I hate texting). To me, that’s a lukewarm attempt at contacting me.
    Last night I went out with my neighbors and I was a little bummed. I drank a lot and when I got home I sent her a quick e-mail that said “we missed you.” (It was my neighbor’s suggestion).
    Finally, I just received an e-mail from the woman: “I wish I would have known.”
    Wow. I am usually perceptive, but I am LOST with this.
    Any suggestions on what’s going on here?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Yes... you stood her up. WT? didn't you call her and confirm the date? You also saw that she had called, why not call her back even if she didn't leave a message?

    I'll also go as far as to say that spending five days with someone you just meant sounds like she may have needed a hotel and you were free so win, win for her for a week. (that's if you don't hear from her again that is).

  3. #3
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DenverDude
    I met a woman a week ago and we really hit it off. We have spent 5 nights together – all night. Our time together felt magical. We would send each other an e-mail in the morning, or she would call, and we felt connected. I could tell that she was really into me. Heck, she had asked me out.
    Three days ago I told her I was getting together with my neighbors last night and that we were going out. I invited her and she was happy about that.
    Well, this past Friday AM I sent her a quick e-mail to say “hi” and tell her I was thinking about her.
    No response.
    Later in the day I had a missed call from her, but there was no voicemail (I hate texting). To me, that’s a lukewarm attempt at contacting me.
    Last night I went out with my neighbors and I was a little bummed. I drank a lot and when I got home I sent her a quick e-mail that said “we missed you.” (It was my neighbor’s suggestion).
    Finally, I just received an e-mail from the woman: “I wish I would have known.”
    Wow. I am usually perceptive, but I am LOST with this.
    Any suggestions on what’s going on here?
    How did you tell her this? Via phone call, in person, or via text or email?

  4. #4
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    It sounds like there’s a lack of both communication and boundaries on both of your parts. Spending five consecutive nights with someone you’ve just met is awfully rushed. I would suggest slowing down and keeping the lines of communication open if you wish to try and establish a healthy connection with this person.

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    Agreed. I told her in person several times earlier this week.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    My impression from your post is that you struggle to sit with yourself without a lot of attention. Five days in a row? Great, fun! But if you've ever tried to drive with the gas only floored, you know what happens: a crash of some sort.

    You emailed her last night, and she responded this morning. That, to my eyes, is a prompt response. Wondering why, to yours, it is her "finally" responding. Seems like a fine moment to ask what she's up to over the next few days and make a plan to see each other again. Simple. If she's still feeling you, you guys will continue to feel this thing out.

    I never leave voicemails, for what it's worth. Not with my best friends, my girlfriend, my mother—unless it is something critical. They will see that I called, and, as such, they will reach out when they can. A lot of people, I think, use telephones in this manner in 2020. She called you. You could have called back, though you choose to judge her lack of voicemail as a sign that she is lukewarm.

    What is up, do you think, with that? Are you more interested in proving that women don't like you than being open to the idea that they do? Why all the tests with someone you hardly know?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How did you meet? Is she on vacation?
    Originally Posted by DenverDude
    I met a woman a week ago and we really hit it off. We have spent 5 nights together – all night. Our time together felt magical.

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    I could have handled this differently. She called me a few minutes ago and we had a good talk. She was upset with the situation and my lack of follow-up. She was waiting for me to call her. I am trying to walk that fine line between being caring and assertive with being overwhelming. It isn't easy.
    I listened to her concerns, agreed that I could have handled things differently, and I feel bad that I made her feel bad. That was not my intent.
    We will see each other tonight.

    This is a huge violation of the business I am in, but she rents an apartment that I own. I

  10. #9
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    Good that you two resolved it, but you might want to pump the brakes a bit here.

    Going full-throttle right out of the gate often leads to a crash.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    She was upset with the situation and my lack of follow-up.
    Of course she was. It was clear from your opening post that you didn't follow up with her and confirm the date to meed with friends with her.

    This is a huge violation of the business I am in, but she rents an apartment that I own
    Well, that blows my theory out of the water that she was using your place as a hotel. lol

    In the future, for goodness sakes follow up on invitations and make sure that the two of you are keyed up for dates. If she calls and doesn't leave a message then call.her.back.

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