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Thread: 6 Days of Joy Ended Suddenly

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why aren't you setting up regular dates?

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Why aren't you setting up regular dates?
    Good question, but this is not a normal situation. It took her 11 hours to respond to my e-mail to her yesterday. She said that she liked seeing me in her bed while she got ready for work yesterday morning. She thought it was sexy. She then agreed with a comment that I had made about the little things in life being so good. But that was it.
    Yesterday morning when I woke up with her I said how nice it would be to wake up with her on a rainy morning. She then said, "yes, and a snowy morning, a hot summer morning, a fall morning..."

    I get flashes of interest from her, but then nothing. Just an observation.

    I don't feel the unhealthy tension from before, and I will let this breathe...

  3. #23
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DenverDude
    Good question, but this is not a normal situation. It took her 11 hours to respond to my e-mail to her yesterday.
    So? What has that got to do with you setting up a date?

    She said that she liked seeing me in her bed while she got ready for work yesterday morning. She thought it was sexy.
    Even more reason for you to set something up to do OUTSIDE of the bedroom. If you just want casual sex then contact her when your horney.

    She then agreed with a comment that I had made about the little things in life being so good. But that was it.
    So? What is your point. She doesn't want to be wasting time in idle chit chat that does not include you making plans to see her again.
    Yesterday morning when I woke up with her I said how nice it would be to wake up with her on a rainy morning. She then said, "yes, and a snowy morning, a hot summer morning, a fall morning..."
    Sorry to be blunt but you are clueless. What do you want out of this coupling? A relationship? A eff buddy? A chat buddy? Figure it out and act accordingly. You are crossing EFF buddy boundaries by staying overnight but you are not nurturing this enough to make it a relationship. You are trying to make her your chat buddy which she isn't fussy on.

    I get flashes of interest from her, but then nothing. Just an observation.
    Well you observe wrong. Set up a date so do something other than schtuup. If she turns you down then you know that she just wants casual sex. I doubt that is what she wants though. She is giving you a lot of clues that you should initiate more than you are. (and I'm not talking about lame texting)

    I don't feel the unhealthy tension from before, and I will let this breathe...
    Then you do you and stop worrying about what HER intentions are. If you're going to be indifferent then you shouldn't expect anything more than that from her.

    She was upset with the situation and my lack of follow-up.
    She has already told you before that she was upset with your lack of follow-up and here you are yet again going to "let this breathe." SMH

    Figure out what your end goal wants to be with her and then act accordingly. First you have to know what you want. You don't seem to have figured that out yet.

  4. #24
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    I get what you are saying and I appreciate your taking the time to respond. I am not normally so clueless. I should have mentioned that every bar, restaurant, and coffee shop is closed. The city I live in has effectively been shut down. That makes dating hard.
    I wanted to do something for dinner, so I told her I would like to order from a restaurant and have her over for dinner. Her response: "You don't have to reciprocate for my making you dinner." Wow.
    When we had our late night dinner the other day she knows I don't eat oil or animal products, and she was going out of her way to mention that and cook that way for me. She gave me a beer and asked me several times if it is okay, or if I wanted a different one.
    I get the feeling that she wants to please me, but doesn't want me to do that to her.
    I don't know what I want in the relationship - or what she wants. I do know that when I am with her the rest of the world goes away and I love every second that we are together.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DenverDude
    Her response: "You don't have to reciprocate for my making you dinner."
    To which you charmingly respond, "I know I don't have to, but I'd love to. How's 7:30 for you?"

    Boom. Right there you show her that you are confident, chivalrous, someone who wants to make her happy, and the fun gets spread around in ways that expands, creates security, and starts answering some questions of whether you guys are compatible in the business of romance and dating, weird times be damned.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DenverDude
    I get what you are saying and I appreciate your taking the time to respond. I am not normally so clueless. I should have mentioned that every bar, restaurant, and coffee shop is closed.
    Yes, but the parks, are open and going for a nice walk, picking up some take out and watching Netflix together is also a date. (Take out is still available where I live). If not, then cook for her.

    The city I live in has effectively been shut down. That makes dating hard.
    No it doesn't there are lots of things you can still do together that indicates to her that you are into her for more than a shag. If she wants none of it then you can "take a breather" and either decide you want to be her FB or stop seeing her so you can get into someone more serious. You have a lot of excuses not to have to put your emotional self out there.
    I wanted to do something for dinner, so I told her I would like to order from a restaurant and have her over for dinner. Her response: "You don't have to reciprocate for my making you dinner."
    Why do it that way. Why didn't you invite her on a specific night instead of useless words that mean nothing without actions to back them up as your truth. Wow., yes wow indeed.
    When we had our late night dinner the other day she knows I don't eat oil or animal products, and she was going out of her way to mention that and cook that way for me. She gave me a beer and asked me several times if it is okay, or if I wanted a different one.
    Yes she is trying to show you her value. You are not showing her you value her though.

    I get the feeling that she wants to please me, but doesn't want me to do that to her.
    How would you know, you've never actually set up a proper date. You just talk about doing it.

    I don't know what I want in the relationship
    - Then figure it out and tell us so we can guide you in the dynamic you actually want to be in.
    or what she wants.
    Stop trying to figure it out and ask her proper for a nice dinner and see if she says Ok. "_____ Are you free to come over to mine on Friday for dinner at about 7:00? If she doesn't say ok or (reschedules if Friday isn't convenient) or she does some Jeddi mind trick wording that says nothing about what she wants, then what she wants should be clear to you... nothing but what she's already getting.

    I do know that when I am with her the rest of the world goes away and I love every second that we are together.
    The work it instead of talking about it.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Your fear is going to drive her away.

    Please ignore Corey Wayne advice about being mysterious or hard to pin down and ask her for a date. Specific day, time and activity.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Your fear is going to drive her away.

    Please ignore Corey Wayne advice about being mysterious or hard to pin down and ask her for a date. Specific day, time and activity.
    There is no fear. But you are right about your second sentence. I am getting "Coreyized." :)

  10. #29
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DenverDude
    There is no fear. But you are right about your second sentence. I am getting "Coreyized." :)
    Hope you can get a refund. Intelligent women can see right through those tactics.

    Be your genuine self. Otherwise you'll "Corey" her right into some other guy's arms.

  11. #30
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    ThatwasThen, good advice! I will take it. I just sent her an e-mail suggesting to her that she takes care of what she needs to take care of when she gets home from work. Then, I will come over and take a nice walk with her. I'll then suggest watching a movie and relaxing.
    Time for me to start doing things right instead of being mysterious and vague.
    Thank you!

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