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Thread: Is it over or is he just mad at me ?

  1. #11
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    8 months and yes we used go out on regular dates (cinema, meeting friends...) he used to reach out every day several times/day .he travels a lot to different countries (because of his work)and even though the time zone difference he used to contact me on a daily basis.

  2. #12
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    When did the change take place?

    He is not treating you well at all. Your feelings are valid. I think you need to move on from this guy.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about this, Norah.

    But to be honest, let's just say for a second that your boyfriend is telling the truth. That his way to express love is through physical touch. You telling him that you felt he was just in the relationship for the physical aspect, basically accused him of just using your body.
    When that happened, you put down how he expresses love, you in a roundabout way called him a creep and only using you.
    Of course he is going to feel very hurt now and this could well be the end of your relationship.

    I say it could be the end, because he won't feel comfortable touching you again due to the accusations. And to be honest, it doesn't sound as though you enjoy it or are compatible with him in terms of being sexual.

    What you said might have been how you truly felt (and there's nothing wrong with expressing your feelings), but it also could be what ends your relationship as it will be fairly difficult to recover from this now.

    You and he are incompatible with it comes to sex, that really is the bottom line and unfortunately, will be what breaks you up.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Just reading more of your replies though, if you truly feel that he is being cold to you, not being considerate of you and you feel like you're being used...don't ignore those feelings. Your gut is telling you that something is not right...listen to it.

    You don't need to accept less than what you deserve or want, from anyone. If it doesn't feel right, then let it go.
    Ending a relationship is difficult but survivable.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Dating is to get to know someone. Dating 32 weeks is a good time to reflect on his unstable approach, blaming you for things, disappearing and being physical by not intimate. 8 mos. is not the time to see if you can fix or change him either through talking at him again and again, withholding sex, etc. These tactics won't work.

    Is he in another relationship? Or still in contact with an ex or on/off gf? Clearly his disappearances mean he's not available and certainly not thinking of you. He seems checked out and only partially there at best. Ask yourself how much more time you are willing to waste on someone like this now that you have seen how he is.
    Originally Posted by Norah30
    If i text him for example he gives me short answer or doesnít answer at all and when he does so i just leave him alone assuming he is busy or not in the right mood, 2 days later he calls and blames me for not contacting him

  7. #16
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    No he is not in a new relationship . Thank you for all your responses,that was really helpful🙏
    Last edited by Norah30; 03-15-2020 at 09:52 AM.

  8. #17
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    I donít know I was really mad at him and i know how sensitive he is about it ,maybe i just wanted to piss him of, i know itís mean and thatís what i regret no matter what happened between us i shouldí say so

  9. #18
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    I am a user of the physical language of love (in the main) and that's why i said what i said. If you said that to me i would feel very hurt and unwanted as sex would be my expression of showing my love to you solely and deeply. I would take it as you don't love me and want me to leave.

    If he uses the one love language (physical) and you use a different one thats where the incompatibility kicks in, especially when theres no effort on either side to meet in the middle which is the answer to differing love languages. When one of you speaks your language the other makes no effort to understand it and just withdraws(him)/throws barbed comments(you). Until you accept that you are different people with different ways of communicating this will never work.


    I think you need to accept this is probably done and for the future when things become strained dont bottle things up inside until you get so angry and throw out hurtful comments. Neither of you are bad people just poor at cross communicating.


    Edit - just saw your last post, yeah don't try and "piss him off" or any future partner, TALK. This is the consequence.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    did i really hurt him to the point he refuses to talk to me
    I'd say that he's smart enough to no longer be bothered with a chica that uses sex as a battering tool. Why, did you not just talk to him about your insecurities instead of cutting off sex to spite your own nose? Very childish if you ask me.
    You've reached out to him and that's really all you can do. I'ts up to him if he want to take a chance on someone who reacts to something she has assumed before discussing.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I see what went wrong. You don't know how to communicate properly with your partner...instead you S&*% tested him by with holding sex to see if he could figure it out....when he approached you, you accused him of not caring about you by saying you feel this relationship is only physical. Why you did things this way? Why did you have so much contempt for him? You have shown him such resentment without giving him a chance to rectify the issue you were having.

    IMO this relaitonship has ran it's course. You two have different love languages, never bothered to really get to know one another so it fell apart. The incompatibility was there you two just never noticed it.

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