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Emotional support group Covid19


Seraphim

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My same friend I golfed with, who withheld that 8 coworkers had been or are sick text me about my 4th of July plans. Plans? What plans? Interesting on how we view things differently. Only hours ago the state was open after all. Having said that I guess for some, 4th of July plans doesn't seem absurd.

She ends her text saying she is going to a town south of here. I know the family she she'll stay with when she says this. The wife being a breast cancer survivor and has recently had other health issues, not to mention the grandkids that will likely be there

I'll safely guess she fail to mention what's going on in her work world. She works for Costco in the optical department. It was bound to happen. Just the fact that she's exposed to the degree she is concerned not only me but others. That's the main reason I've tried to keep an open dialog with her. The fact that she intentionally withholds this is reckless.

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Thank you, friends, for your kind words. These past months when things shut down I've felt so lucky to have him with me, he's been my constant companion, and a great one. ❤️

 

My state has had a couple of good days with only 1 new case. The tourists have started coming into the state, so we'll see if that has any effect on the numbers. I feel for everyone, even (sometimes) the ones rebelling against the new requirements and rules, it's not an easy time to be human.

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Thank you, friends, for your kind words. These past months when things shut down I've felt so lucky to have him with me, he's been my constant companion, and a great one. ❤️

 

My state has had a couple of good days with only 1 new case. The tourists have started coming into the state, so we'll see if that has any effect on the numbers. I feel for everyone, even (sometimes) the ones rebelling against the new requirements and rules, it's not an easy time to be human.

 

Yes. I agree with the not an easy time. But -I write this because of this awesome thread Seraphim started so I feel safe. How hard is it not to (1) flout quarantine; and (2) refrain from visiting my 85 year old mother who lives in a hot spot type state with your young kids after your husband has recently flouted quarantine and taken plane flights to my mother's state (but without seeing her thank goodness). I gave this person a mostly diplomatic (seriously I held my text-tongue as much as possible) talking to mama bear style and told her I was going to mind my own business about the quarantine and who she would stay with in that state, etc but my mom is my business, my mom has a hard time saying no and right now I couldn't even visit her were she to fall ill heaven forbid. Oh and they wanted to use the restroom in her small apartment and "bring wipes" if the kids needed to go. Um no. I wrote that in normal times I'd be happy to pay for a top-bottom cleaning of her apartment but we're not having anyone come in. My mom is an awesome cleaner. But seriously -she should be tasked with disinfecting post-risky vistitors?? She's been so very careful and she's fine. I pray it stays that way. It's resolved -she will say no, this relative will respect that. Whew.

 

Not easy Journeynow. I get it.I do -this seemed to go far beyond. Sigh.

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A friend posted an advertisement for a male dancer live show taking place this weekend at a club. They are selling tickets and also selling bottle service tables. I presume she plans to go. She has posted videos all during the pandemic that she recorded during these shows. She goes pretty much every weekend.

 

This is in the state that recorded the highest percentage of new Covid cases in the entire country. And it's in the most populous city in that state and this city has the highest number of cases in the state.

 

Am I the only one who doesn't understand this?

 

Please, everyone, please make good decisions so you all stay safe and healthy.

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It may be best to use this time to clean up your social media especially since it causes so much undue anxiety. Simply get rid of all the dead weight and start unfollowing people who stress you out. Part of the pandemic stress is too much screen time.

 

If people are posting political or covid stuff that annoys, vexes and riles you this much it's best to unfollow that sort of trash. Keep in mind you need to be the guardian of your psyche, do not rely on others to post only appropriate stuff. Control what goes into your mind and soul.

A friend posted an advertisement for a male dancer live show taking place this weekend at a club.This is in the state that recorded the highest percentage of new Covid cases in the entire country.
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It may be best to use this time to clean up your social media especially since it causes so much undue anxiety. Simply get rid of all the dead weight and start unfollowing people who stress you out. Part of the pandemic stress is too much screen time.

 

If people are posting political or covid stuff that annoys, vexes and riles you this much it's best to unfollow that sort of trash. Keep in mind you need to be the guardian of your psyche, do not rely on others to post only appropriate stuff. Control what goes into your mind and soul.

 

I have had to do this too.

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Social media doesn't cause me anxiety. It's more that people I legitimately care about are behaving so recklessly. Like, going to a male dancer revue at a club is not essential! Aren't we supposed to limit our exposure to crowds?

 

And Fudgie, they are not wearing masks. I've seen the videos she posts. Not a mask anywhere. She's the same one who took her 86 year old grandmother out to a restaurant.

 

But I see your point, Wiseman. I'll just unfollow those people who are doing things that could endanger themselves and others. And hope they remain healthy and don't infect anyone.

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Social media doesn't cause me anxiety. It's more that people I legitimately care about are behaving so recklessly. Like, going to a male dancer revue at a club is not essential! Aren't we supposed to limit our exposure to crowds?

 

And Fudgie, they are not wearing masks. I've seen the videos she posts. Not a mask anywhere. She's the same one who took her 86 year old grandmother out to a restaurant.

 

But I see your point, Wiseman. I'll just unfollow those people who are doing things that could endanger themselves and others. And hope they remain healthy and don't infect anyone.

 

Yes. So my friend just got a new job -her husband hooked her up - she'd been struggling financially and medically (she has MS, ADD, etc). Two years ago her mother in law retired and moved to our state to help with their son who is now 10. She's awesome, I've met her a few times. She's also older so at higher risk for covid. Anyway my friend bragged all over social media the last few months about how she spent hours volunteering in a mask related venture. But her new job requires her to be in office a few days a week. She says she attends meetings indoors and while they distance no one wears masks. Her mother in law had quarantined for awhile before resuming helping with their son but now she does. But MIL won't come in their home anymore since my friend is now among people without a mask, indoors, etc. So they're having an outdoor bbq today where the mother will be outside in this heat.

 

My friend's rationalization "if I'm among strangers I mask up. I can't trust strangers. But if they're not strangers I don't. I'm comfortable with MIL coming inside of course-she and my husband are not. And if I end up getting exposed I'll just work from home for awhile" Hmmm. So someone you met a few weeks ago is not a risk so you don't need a mask?? Your MIL providing free help and childcare and moving to be close to your family doesn't count as far as prioritizing her comfort level? And she's exposing her family. Of course she has to work. But she could choose to wear a mask indoors -at least- and explain that she has high risk people at home. At least. It's her entitled attitude that really gets me. No I don't see her in person -I haven't in months. So I'm being judgey but it makes me emotional that intelligent people can spew this kind of nonsense.

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The virus doesn't ask if you know one another before jumping from one person to the next. It doesn't ask if you're friends or if you share DNA and then decide to skip over because you know one another. And "knowing" someone doesn't make them OR you immune.

 

Plus, as she should know, her mask protects others and their masks protect her. And if everyone wears masks that is even more protection.

 

My brother told me one of his friends invited him to an event. He told her he wasn't comfortable and she said "wear a mask!!!" Again, if other people are not wearing masks he is not protected.

 

Another thing is when people tell me I shouldn't be afraid. Bring hand sanitizer, they say! Bring wipes! How does hand sanitizer protect me from people who are not wearing masks and are crowding around me? Am I supposed to splash them with hand sanitizer? Shove the wipe down their throat?

 

For me it's obvious. The information is out there, widely available. The virus is primarily transmitted person to person through their respiratory droplets. I don't see how dousing my hands with sanitizer is going to do anything about that. And if I'm the only one wearing a mask I am basically unprotected.

 

Last night I was doing what I thought was a benign activity, watching a YouTube video. But in the comments someone was carrying on and on about the "hoax". He says it is NOT real, the people who claim to have Covid have been lied to by their doctors, the hospitals are pretending to have Covid patients to "control" the minds of population, etc. Only one other person agreed with him. For the most part people ignored this person and just chatted about the video and other pleasant things. But holy cow, people seriously believe this stuff.

 

I wonder how many more people have to get sick and die before they start believing it.

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So I do think for logical and also practical reasons your family unit is safe as long as none has been exposed - meaning it’s fairly clear there was exposure. I’m not going to socially distance from my husband or son and we can’t since we live together. But we would have to find a way to distance if one of us accidentally got exposed and then we’d get tested. I say accidentally because the way we live now it literally would have to be someone attacking me and spitting on me. Or like that.

Next month things will change in my family as far as exposure because of changes in work and school.

My friend’s attitude scares me because if an educated intelligent parent of a young child can make those nonsensical and bizarre rationalizations she cannot be the only one.

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I meant people who live in different households who think because they're related they a) won't contract the virus and b) can't pass it to one another.

 

Same with friends and dating couples who don't live together. So they have get togethers and then are surprised when they get sick. "I thought it would be OK!!!" is a common theme.

 

My friend's excuse for traveling out of state to visit friends is he hasn't seen his friends in a long time. I don't think the virus cares about that.

 

My brother wanted to visit. I told him he could as long as we stay socially distant and we both wear masks. He goes to work only about one day a week and follows safety protocols but still...same with my son and his spouse. Both of them are working so we meet up outside and wear masks. Trust me, I'd love to hug my kids but we just can't right now.

 

Just "unfollowed" another friend. Jeez, I am going to have a slim friend list after this! But that's OK, it's just social media.

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I totally agree. My neighbor is married with a young child. Her mother lives down the hall. Takes care of the child. They both work full time, now from home. So they socially distance and limit the child to hugs that don't include the face (no hugs aint gonna happen). So far so good.

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Feeling down today. US just continues to blow up with cases. I wish I could push "fast forward" on this, just wake up the next day to news that 300k people are gone but that we've somehow gotten through the pandemic. This months-long waiting period sucks.

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Feeling down today. US just continues to blow up with cases. I wish I could push "fast forward" on this, just wake up the next day to news that 300k people are gone but that we've somehow gotten through the pandemic. This months-long waiting period sucks.
I agree. This has been difficult but I kept in mind it was temporary and if we just discipline ourselves, keep our head down and push through it, there was a light at the end.

Now going into 4 months later that light not only dimmed, I just can't see it.

It's hard to feel hopeful when there doesn't seem to be an end point to work towards.

I know it won't be this way forever, but we will feel the ramifications of all of this for years to come.

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I find myself, as an American, comparing this moment to the way we handle gun violence compared to other nations, with the various "hot spots" and "spikes" akin to a Columbine, a Sandy Hook, an Aurora, a Charleston, a Sutherland. Zoom out on those 20 years—half my life—and you go: we are more okay with all this than not, or else we would behave differently, as a whole, rather than in pieces, pockets. Today we are seeing that on a less diluted timeline, with some different variables.

 

Doesn't make the present any less frustrating to live through, but I suppose it lessens some of the anxiety by seeing it more in line with how we operate than some sort of historic outlier. A known, more than unknown, if a somewhat illusory and/or jagged one.

 

I spend a lot of time wondering what the other side of this looks like—that "light" that, yeah, seems so dim right now. Sometimes my vision is optimistic, other times quite nihilistic. Most of the time it's foggy. So I take stock of my personal world, the tiny one I can actually see. I'm healthy, which is a comfort, as are most people I know, if not all. Some scotch tape, bubble gum, and origami skills have allowed for financial security through 2020, which makes for some breathing room. A hummingbird flew clear past my face a few minutes ago, close enough that I could hear its wings, feel the thrust of wind it generated.

 

That was as real as anything I read in the news, or the mask I wear when outdoors. It was nice. Sometimes the little things have to sub in for the big ones, I guess.

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Utterly YES! Blue.

 

"A hummingbird flew clear past my face a few minutes ago, close enough that I could hear its wings, feel the thrust of wind it generated.

 

That was as real as anything I read in the news, or the mask I wear when outdoors. It was nice. Sometimes the little things have to sub in for the big ones, I guess".

 

 

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I find myself, as an American, comparing this moment to the way we handle gun violence compared to other nations, with the various "hot spots" and "spikes" akin to a Columbine, a Sandy Hook, an Aurora, a Charleston, a Sutherland. Zoom out on those 20 years—half my life—and you go: we are more okay with all this than not, or else we would behave differently, as a whole, rather than in pieces, pockets. Today we are seeing that on a less diluted timeline, with some different variables.

 

Doesn't make the present any less frustrating to live through, but I suppose it lessens some of the anxiety by seeing it more in line with how we operate than some sort of historic outlier. A known, more than unknown, if a somewhat illusory and/or jagged one.

 

I spend a lot of time wondering what the other side of this looks like—that "light" that, yeah, seems so dim right now. Sometimes my vision is optimistic, other times quite nihilistic. Most of the time it's foggy. So I take stock of my personal world, the tiny one I can actually see. I'm healthy, which is a comfort, as are most people I know, if not all. Some scotch tape, bubble gum, and origami skills have allowed for financial security through 2020, which makes for some breathing room. A hummingbird flew clear past my face a few minutes ago, close enough that I could hear its wings, feel the thrust of wind it generated.

 

That was as real as anything I read in the news, or the mask I wear when outdoors. It was nice. Sometimes the little things have to sub in for the big ones, I guess.

 

I've never had to decide whether a new middle schooler should risk getting very very sick and making us sick vs. the awful ramifications of more online learning especially at his age and stage. Abstractions and looking at history - very interesting but I have to focus on gritty reality and practicalities later this week when we learn what our school district plans to do. Rock and hard place. So hard. He wants to go to school.

 

I get to be outdoors every morning for about 35 minutes around 6:30-ish. I love it -I agree -its such a welcome respite.

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Totally get it, Batya.

 

I had to send my kids to school the day Columbine happened. They were grade school and middle school age. We lived nowhere near where that happened but still, it was upsetting to know that children could do such a thing and that there is no warning that a child is planning something like that. I can't even imagine having a school age child right now. I truly hope the school district is able to provide you with peace of mind.

 

There are some who say it's pointless to worry. Others, like me, take their fear and anxiety to an extreme. I'd love to be more middle ground in my point of view. But things that happened to me during my childhood have caused me to need control in order to get through each day. And of course there are many things that are out of our control. I can't control others who choose to refuse to do things to protect others. All I can do is minimize my exposure to others, keep myself as physically and mentally healthy as possible and hope for the best. And I choose to have people in my life who truly care about others. That helps out a lot too.

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Totally get it, Batya.

 

I had to send my kids to school the day Columbine happened. They were grade school and middle school age. We lived nowhere near where that happened but still, it was upsetting to know that children could do such a thing and that there is no warning that a child is planning something like that. I can't even imagine having a school age child right now. I truly hope the school district is able to provide you with peace of mind.

 

There are some who say it's pointless to worry. Others, like me, take their fear and anxiety to an extreme. I'd love to be more middle ground in my point of view. But things that happened to me during my childhood have caused me to need control in order to get through each day. And of course there are many things that are out of our control. I can't control others who choose to refuse to do things to protect others. All I can do is minimize my exposure to others, keep myself as physically and mentally healthy as possible and hope for the best. And I choose to have people in my life who truly care about others. That helps out a lot too.

 

Oh goodness. Columbine. I cannot imagine how you must have felt. I mean think of Sandy Hook too, right? Our son was not yet in any school thank goodness -never really thought about it in that way. I will try again to remind myself that I cannot control what others do. It's just not worth stressing myself out over it.Thank you.

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