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Thread: Well, isn't really much, but I wanna know what you guys think :)

  1. #31

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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Why was there even such a comparison made? Because he asked? You never have to answer a question -listen to or read the lyrics to We Have No Secrets by Carly Simon. He doesn't sound so great -he sounds like he is infatuated and in love with love and trying to control in part to keep that feeling going.

    I'm much older than you but when I was in my 20s I met a guy at a dance. Really nice articulate guy. We talked all evening. He called me two days later since we'd discussed going on a date. One of the first things he said was "Hi honey, how was your day???". I felt nauseous. A person I met once addressing me as if I were his wife. Alarm bells went off but I saw him two more times. Once for dinner and then I invited him out with another couple -my friends - because I wanted to get their take on him. He was gushy around me and they ate it up. I didn't.
    uhh hey there
    Yes, even I'm suspecting that he's just infatuated with me, but thinks it's love.
    We've talked about that part of it, and he's admitted there's a slight possibility of it

    But I'd actually known him for around a year when he asked me out.
    He doesn't really gush in public or in front of other people really, mostly just when we're alone.
    He's a reserved sort of guy who doesn't express himself much often, but that's just him really :)

  2. #32

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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    What was he hurt by?
    I'd said then that I loved my friend more than him

  3. #33
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    how old is he?

  4. #34

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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    how old is he?
    we're both 24

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, how did the conversation come up that "you love your friend more than him"?. Do you feel a man his age should be acting like teen puppy love? Does he feel more like a fan or a bf? You need to level with him. Many people marry and get serious at your ages. So he's not some awkward high school kid. Tell him you don't see this going anywhere. Even though the attention is an ego boost if you are not on board you need to let him know.
    Originally Posted by tbh
    we're both 24

  7. #36

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok, how did the conversation come up that "you love your friend more than him"?. Do you feel a man his age should be acting like teen puppy love? Does he feel more like a fan or a bf? You need to level with him. Many people marry and get serious at your ages. So he's not some awkward high school kid. Tell him you don't see this going anywhere. Even though the attention is an ego boost if you are not on board you need to let him know.
    Frankly speaking, we understand each other well and are kinda serious.
    But seeing him act like a typical teen with a crush (as he behaved here) irks me.

  8. #37
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    He sounds very insecure and this could lead to constant neediness and clingy behaviour in the future.

    This could be down to 2 reasons in my opinion either this is who he is and he will always remain this way in which case run for the hills or he's terribly anxious about this being his first real relationship and is desperate not to mess things up (hence the declarations of love etc) so is leading him to act a bit off. As for which of those things it is I think only you could tell.

    Have you tried asking him to just chill a little. May work wonders.

  9. #38

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    Originally Posted by ninjabib
    He sounds very insecure and this could lead to constant neediness and clingy behaviour in the future.

    This could be down to 2 reasons in my opinion either this is who he is and he will always remain this way in which case run for the hills or he's terribly anxious about this being his first real relationship and is desperate not to mess things up (hence the declarations of love etc) so is leading him to act a bit off. As for which of those things it is I think only you could tell.

    Have you tried asking him to just chill a little. May work wonders.
    Makes complete sense actually
    Maybe I should just talk to him about it :)

  10. #39
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tbh
    He's always going on about how we're going to be together all our lives, and is very specific about him being my priority (which he kinda is)
    For example, once, he got really upset when i said that i loved my best friend more than him and we fought about it. Later, when things had cooled off, he apologized and told me that he didn't like that I placed my friend above him and wanted to be "the only one".

    I was really irritated at how immature he was being.
    Well, truth be told I'd be upset if my husband (then boyfriend) told me that he loved his best friend more than me. I think that statement right there lacks tact and consideration for another person's feelings especially if two people are supposed to be in love with each other. If my boyfriend told me that he loved his best friend more than me, I'd tell him to be with his best friend instead of me since obviously I'm not loved by him as much as his best friend!

    I actually agree with your boyfriend. I wouldn't be happy in the least if my boyfriend or husband told me that he loved his best friend more than me. Are you kidding me? There's nothing immature about his reaction to this affront at all.

  11. #40
    Platinum Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    After only a few months of dating, I wouldn't expect someone to love me the way he would love me years into the relationship. Deep love takes time to grow.

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