Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 29

Thread: Is bad drunk/high behavior a fair judge of character?

  1. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    35
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You have a right to your opinion and if you lose respect because she acted like a drunken ass, that's fine. Why not date girls who you get to know, like and respect?



    This is exactly it. I am not the party animal type at all, that night I was out drinking with my guy friends, which I rarely do because I fitness goals for myself and dont like getting drunk often (I go out with just guy friends once a month MAX) and we went to one of my other friends houses who was having the small party. I dont do drugs at all, which is why I lose respect for people who get drunk and high to this extreme. I've tried multiple times with girls I've taken interest in, and so far every time it has been this same story, where the girl doesnt come off as the party type but in reality IS. I have a feeling that it is going to take a long time for me to find someone who has similar opinions as me due to my age, and im better off focusing on my future rather than girls.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    38,445
    Gender
    Male
    Casually talk about "partying" on get-to-know-you dates before you get involved.
    Originally Posted by hide
    I've tried multiple times with girls I've taken interest in, and so far every time it has been this same story, where the girl doesnt come off as the party type but in reality IS.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,694
    Originally Posted by hide
    I met a girl at school (12th grade highschool) who was very studious and seemed a little shy. She was really cute and I was really into her. I got to know her a lot, so I asked her out. unfortunately I got rejected, she said that she didnt want anything serious due to school (we graduate in a few months) so I understood, and moved on. Moving on at first was hard, but it all changed one night when I went to a small party.

    It was one of my friends parties, ~25 people, lights on, nothing crazy. She was there, but didnt talk to me or even greet me. About halfway through the party I was pretty drunk and was sitting on a couch next to one of my friends. She walked over, and straddles my friend beside me mid conversation. She was clearly drunk/high, she started saying that she wants to have sex with him, and talked about the last time they had sex. This made me feel disgusted, and made moving on way easier. How is it that the most innocent looking girls can act like this while drunk/high? Is it unfair of me to pity her, and to completely ignore and avoid her? After that happened she stared at me in all my classes, sometimes for 5-6 seconds (not exaggerating) while I totally ignore her.

    I am asking this to help me learn how to be aware of this in the future. Is it normal for girls my age (18) to act like this? Is alcohol/drugs an excuse ? Or is it fair to say that this is unusual behavior and that she is evil. If so, what are some signs I can look for so I dont fall for people like this who just leave me disappointed.

    I notice this in a lot of girls my age, and it seriously makes me question having children in the future.
    Why the double standard, didn't you say that you were also drunk? You do not have a right to judge.

    Not very classy for her to straddle your friend and suggest sex in front of others, though.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-14-2020 at 01:00 PM.

  4. #14
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    35
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Why the double standard, didn't you say that you were also drunk? You do not have a right to judge.
    I have failed to provide enough detail, so my story does appear to be a double standard.

    I am religious, so I dont do drugs at all and only drink on special occasions (once a month max, it was for a friends bday)
    I dont hook up, also due to my belief system with my religion. I believe sex should be special, so I see hooking up as wrong in my opinion.( I also have all female siblings and cousins, and could never 'use' a girl for sex or I would feel morally wrong)
    I was drunk, but i have never gotten drunk past control. I remember everything, I was probably under the limit to drive.

    the girl on the other hand showed that she disagrees with pretty much everything I said above. She couldnt walk straight, could barely talk and reeked of weed. The guy she was hooking up with is a friend of mine, and I know that he dropped out of highschool and is a drug dealer. this shows where her values lie.

    My main question was asking if this type of behavior while drunk reflects the sober persons thoughts and values, and I have concluded that it DOES. Which tells me I have to be more cautious and not create a false fantasy of someone.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,694
    Originally Posted by hide
    I have failed to provide enough detail, so my story does appear to be a double standard.

    I am religious, so I dont do drugs at all and only drink on special occasions (once a month max, it was for a friends bday)
    I dont hook up, also due to my belief system with my religion. I believe sex should be special, so I see hooking up as wrong in my opinion.( I also have all female siblings and cousins, and could never 'use' a girl for sex or I would feel morally wrong)
    I was drunk, but i have never gotten drunk past control. I remember everything, I was probably under the limit to drive.

    the girl on the other hand showed that she disagrees with pretty much everything I said above. She couldnt walk straight, could barely talk and reeked of weed. The guy she was hooking up with is a friend of mine, and I know that he dropped out of highschool and is a drug dealer. this shows where her values lie.

    My main question was asking if this type of behavior while drunk reflects the sober persons thoughts and values, and I have concluded that it DOES. Which tells me I have to be more cautious and not create a false fantasy of someone.
    Under the limit would be only one drink.

    I do not think that you two are on the same page. She is definitely not the girl for you. I think that you should also remember as a godly person that you are not supposed to judge others. Just accept who she is, and move on.

    Why are you friends with a drug dealer?

  7. #16
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    35
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Under the limit would be only one drink.

    I do not think that you two are on the same page. She is definitely not the girl for you. I think that you should also remember as a godly person that you are not supposed to judge others. Just accept who she is, and move on.

    Why are you friends with a drug dealer?
    I would agree, I think you are right. You are also right about judging, I try not treat people differently if they do things I dont agree with. If she were to walk up to me and ask me a question about schoolwork or something I would be totally normal like nothing happened. Which is also the reason I am friends with a drug dealer. I can still be friends with people like this, but I know that they will have no real relevance in my life after highschool because I dont agree with them.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,694
    Personally, I would not be friends with someone who brings destruction to my community. You can be pleasant, but to go as far as being friends with someone like this is highly questionable. Don't you want to share your life with people who share the same values?

    Start making better choices in friends!
    Last edited by Hollyj; 03-14-2020 at 01:59 PM.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,632
    Gender
    Female
    Op: You have some personal boundaries and morals in place that suit you just fine and which will help you to find a girl that you are compatible with because you'll have the tools in place to know what is and what isn't a deal breaker for you. That's a good thing.
    Now, it's up to you to adhere to those boundaries and to no worry so much about "ALL" girls. We aren't all sloppy drunks, just move on until you find someone that just gets a drunk as you... or are also friends with some kind of drug dealer. O.o Sympatico is the goal.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    1,822
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by hide
    I have failed to provide enough detail, so my story does appear to be a double standard.

    I am religious, so I dont do drugs at all and only drink on special occasions (once a month max, it was for a friends bday)
    I dont hook up, also due to my belief system with my religion. I believe sex should be special, so I see hooking up as wrong in my opinion.( I also have all female siblings and cousins, and could never 'use' a girl for sex or I would feel morally wrong)
    I was drunk, but i have never gotten drunk past control. I remember everything, I was probably under the limit to drive.

    the girl on the other hand showed that she disagrees with pretty much everything I said above. She couldnt walk straight, could barely talk and reeked of weed. The guy she was hooking up with is a friend of mine, and I know that he dropped out of highschool and is a drug dealer. this shows where her values lie.

    My main question was asking if this type of behavior while drunk reflects the sober persons thoughts and values, and I have concluded that it DOES. Which tells me I have to be more cautious and not create a false fantasy of someone.
    Admitting this high school dropout drug dealing guy that is a friend of yours speaks to us you are full of it. You are the company you keep, and you need to practice what you preach. If you are going to put down this girl because she has different ideas about life, then why are you not instilling the same attitude towards this friend of yours...yes that's a double standard. And if you are drunk, you are never below the limit to drive, so I don't know what to believe what you post anymore because you are now lacking integrity with us.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    10,178
    OP, it's a little hard to throw stones at this girl when you keep a drug dealer as a "friend." It's hardly relevant that you plan to drop this guy after high school. He is your friend now, much as this girl was drunk at that particular moment. If you use occasional poor behavior at parties as a wider reflection on someone's real character, don't be too shocked when people look down on you for keeping the company of a drug dealer in your most sober moments.

    You operate on a different set of principles than what you claim to stand for, dude.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •