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Thread: Need advice and a different perspective

  1. #21
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Glad to hear you're doing better.

    A book I love is "When Things Fall Apart," by Pema Chodron. It's not specific to relationships, but more of a Buddhist take (though not heavy handed) on learning to lean into hardship with grace, and find more grace through hardship. The general gist is to encourage a way of thinking that allows moments like the one you're in to be treated as breakthroughs, rather than just, well, a breaking down of order.

    Your sanity never left you. That much is clear as day in your posts. You're 25, emerging from a relationship that is quickly revealing itself to have been all sorts of bizarre. In that you are in excellent company, and if you can see like that I suspect you'll make different choices moving forward. The kind of thoughts you're having that momentarily bring you down? Totally normal, nothing to judge but also nothing to shirk from.

    Feel them, listen to them, let them move through you. Think of them like sore muscles from a workout: a little pain in exchange for a little gain, for growth. It's not always pleasurable, the experience of growing further into ourselves, but it's always worthwhile. In time—sooner than you think, I believe—you'll be looking back on this the way a pro athlete looks back on a dropped pass or sprained ankle: an unfortunate blip, not a defining one or catastrophic one.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Yes focus on friends and family and your work and other interests.
    Originally Posted by chicadeagua
    I decided that the best course of action was to spend the next few weeks with my parents to make sure they're taken care of. I'm also quite busy since I'm working from home

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