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Thread: Is he using his profile picture to send a message to me?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by CinnamonGoil
    I'm asking if this could be taken as a sign. And honestly, with him being a narcissist, I do believe this is him trying to regain control of his supply (me).
    I don't mean what I'm about to say antagonistically, at all. But if you look closely at what you just wrote? Well, there is a shade of "narcissism" to it, since it's making his behavior about you, and thus reinforcing some sense of power or identity as being his "supply" or something he wants to "regain control" of.

    No, that is not me diagnosis you as narcissist, but just to suggest that the moment we are using such loaded terms to process these sorts of things is the moment we should just step back, way back, since a lot of what we describe as "toxic," in terms of romance, is a dynamic that amplifies the "narcissistic" traits that reside in all of us humans.

    If the picture was an intentional sign? That should only be further evidence that this is not a man to continue to invest mental and emotional energy in, as doing so would be to reward an inner streak of narcissism at the expense of your more genuine nature. If the picture is just something posted by some doofus who was a doofus in high school? Same conclusion.

    The win here, I think, is seeing it through that lens.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Your situation really reminds me of something similar years ago, except I was in your ex's shoes.

    I took what I thought was a really cool shot and posted it as my social media profile pic. Thought absolutely nothing more about it. A few days later, this guy I'd dated briefly contacted me all excited thinking that I want to reconcile because I had posted that pic and it was clearly a sign to him because the pic was of a hobby we have in common.

    You know what I thought about that OP? It wasn't complimentary to say the least. I thought he was off his rocker, cray cray. I mean if I wanted to reach out to him, I have his contact info. I was also quite a bit creeped out by the whole thing. My point is please do not assume things like that and do not humiliate yourself in the process. The guy posted the pic likely because he thought it was cool and not because you have an obsession with skulls (hobby, passion don't mean this in a negative way) and not as some weird smoke signal to you.

    Also if you think he is a narcissist....why would you want to be his supply? Serious question and please, don't bs yourself with he was your first everything. When a child carries around their stuffed toy for comfort, it's cute, when an adult does that it stops being cute. When you are still very young, romanticizing your first relationship is normal, once you are an adult a decade later...it's problematic.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool


    Also if you think he is a narcissist....why would you want to be his supply? Serious question and please, don't bs yourself with he was your first everything. When a child carries around their stuffed toy for comfort, it's cute, when an adult does that it stops being cute. When you are still very young, romanticizing your first relationship is normal, once you are an adult a decade later...it's problematic.
    And if he is a narc, it's even more reason to not allow this to take up any more head space.
    If it was his dubious plan, then you just fell for it.
    Be better than that. He's not worth your valuable time.

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