Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 25 of 25

Thread: Is Reconnecting EVER A Good Idea?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    2,251
    Hi!

    Welcome aboard as a new poster

    I think you should ask yourself, are you, as a newly single person, that is figuring things out in this new life, looking back through your past with rosy glasses?

    I think many on and off relationships start out via this route. You were with someone else, no cares for this other girl and now you're single....

    I think we all look back over our lives when we have break ups... and there is an obvious void, that daily contact, caring for someone, etc. We search back through the old little black book for who did I miss?

    But the other side of that is, your previous partner, she is pretty innocent now, living their own life, moving on.... so my point is regardless of what is happening with you, are you contacting her for the right reasons?

    Its not fair to interfere with her life, when maybe you are unsure of you're own.

    Then add in, what if this other guy is a chance for her to be happy. Then you, come in and confuse her feelings.

    I think now, that you know about the other guy, It is the time to say, I'm glad you met someone, if you decide he isn't for you, call me.

    clearly stating the intent was to date, but understand she has her own life....is the best way to handle it. stay out of her situation and cause no harm.

    Sadly, timing is a killer sometimes... But Honesty and consideration for others never fails.

    She already has her guard up, understandably so... if you want to build trust and show consideration for her and have a shot in the long run, I think you need to be completely honest and roll the dice.

    If you don't have intent for a long run with her, then there's another clear sign to stay out of her life.

    The world is full of people and opportunities. Don't let the pain of a recent break up make you feel like you don't have options. You do. We all do.

    Good luck!

  2. #22
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    56
    Posts
    7,888
    Gender
    Male
    Welcome to ENA

    You were honest which is good. She was eventually honest which is also good. Getting to know someone can mean 100 different things to 100 different people.

    Leave the other guy out of any conversations and if she brings him up be polite and listen as a good friend would. Keep it light when you meet and stop trying to figure out what she is thinking or feeling until you are actually in a position where it matters. You have plans with her so keep them and catch up and see what happens. One thing at a time just like you never met before. Get the first meet and then see if she is interested in seeing more of you.

    If you bail you are basically making her choice for her. She didn't say she is in a relationship, she didn't say she doesn't want to see you so stick with those facts, meet her and enjoy the company. If nothing else comes of it you will be in her mind if things don't work out with this other guy.

    I know you want to date her, you know you want to date her and she knows you want to date her. Let that elephant sit in the corner and see what happens...

    Lost

  3. #23
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    127
    Gender
    Female

    Is Reconnecting EVER A Good Idea?

    Is there a particular reason why you unfriended her on your social media? I mean even if you had begun dating someone else, why go out there and intentionally unfriend her from your socials if up until then you were good friends. No wonder her walls are up. You have been unpredictable since sheís met you. From hanging out all the time to ghosting her and then reaching out years later. Definitely suspicious. I say go ahead with meeting her for coffee for a quick catchup if itís important to you. But donít view her starting something with someone else as a challenge for you to overcome. Itís disrespectful to her.

  4. #24
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    127
    Gender
    Female

    Is Reconnecting EVER A Good Idea?

    Also personally, if an old fling asked to meet up strictly as friends and I really had a good time with this guy, Iíd likely accept the invitation even if I was happily dating someone else. Iím just the type of person who sees no harm in reconnecting with friends especially if there were good times and a nice connection. It wouldnít at all mean I was intending on assessing potential romance. It would probably be due to sheer curiosity or boredom. Everyone is different. Be careful not to be too presumptuous.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    127
    Gender
    Female

    Is Reconnecting EVER A Good Idea?

    That being said, I think youíll have all the answers to your questions at the meet. Itís really difficult to gauge anything based off a few exchanges. Go with an open mind & with zero expectations. Good luck:)

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •