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Thread: Current situation

  1. #1
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    Current situation

    I dated a girl for 7 months. Things were going good. Unfortunately I was unemployed, didn't have much going on besides her and she got smothered. A month before we broke up, she offered me a job at her company. She became my boss.

    6 months in the relationship I was at her place 5 to 6 times a week with her cooking, cleaning, etc on top of that spending a lot of time together at work. I live with a roomate. So our relationship was around her house.

    Eventually with her smothered, telling me so.. Arguments started. In one fight, I pushed her and she took it as domestic violence and kicked me out. I begged and chased for a month and she blocked me everywhere even on her daughter's phone.

    One month later of no contact. She unblocked me and reached out. My son was spending Christmas with me (he lives with his mother in another country) and she asked if she could pick him up to spend a night at her place because her daughter and my son her friends. We exchange a few texts, she came to pick the kid and dropped him off. All went well. I asked her for coffee she said no. I didnt see her in this instance, my other ex was at my place (my kid's mom) and handled the exchange with her. I went no contact again.

    3 weeks later, she sent me a random msg. Again I asked her for drinks she said no. I ended up arguing with her by text and blowing up her phone, she told me to stop it. I went back to no contact.

    2 weeks later she reached out again (again my son was visiting me) asking to pick up the kid. This time I dropped him off at her place per her request. I went over to her doorstep with my son. Her daughter opened the door. My ex didn't want to come to say hi, was hidden in the toilet. I called her from the outside of the house asked if she wanted to come out to say hi, she said "no need".

    We exchanged a few cordial msgs, but then we started arguing. I insulted her saying lots of nasty stuff. She showed up at my doorstep unannounced to bring a couple of things my son had left at her place, I opened the door (I hadn't seen her in 3 months), she looked me in the eye and said "I'm done, you send me all these messages threating me, I'm done... You make me sick, I despise you, I never want anything to do with you, you are still the same unstable guy unsafe guy. She got in the car and left. She blocked me again and told me she is seeing someone and wants nothing to do with me ever again.

    We have been broken up for 5 months now.

    My situation now is, I got a job, a car, back to gym, I got my own place and my son is moving to live with me and start school etc.

    Even though I'm now blocked, she will eventually reach out sooner or later asking permission to pick up my kid now and then for playdates especially when he moves here next summer.

    I'm in no contact for 3 weeks now.

    How to proceed from here?

  2. #2
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    You broke up 5 months ago.
    Your kid doesnít need play dates with hers. They will have forgotten each other by then.
    There is no next time.
    She doesnít care that you have a job or car or renting a place to stay or go to the gym.
    She dated you when you didnít have any of that , which clearly means she didnít care about it.

    You have got to move on , learn from past mistakes, understand compatibility and mature adult communication. And lack of.

    And again you need to stop using your kid! Or allowing anyone else to.

    You have taken no advice on board that was given on here previously from anyone.

    I hope the changes you have made were for the benefit of your kid and yourself and not to get back with someone you were incompatible with and hurled nasty messages to. ???

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by RicBoy
    How to proceed from here?
    The same advice you received in your multiple other threads on the same woman: move on.

    It's over and you're not going to get back together.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sounds like it's over.
    Originally Posted by RicBoy
    She showed up at my doorstep unannounced to bring a couple of things my son had left at her place, I opened the door she looked me in the eye and said "I'm done, you send me all these messages threating me, I'm done... You make me sick, I despise you, I never want anything to do with you, you are still the same unstable guy unsafe guy".

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You must be thick as a brick. You wrote copious pages of text here about this same woman, your kid, her kid. Buddy, you need to get it thru your skull she is not interested in you anymore. How many times do you have to hear this? You have to drop this before you end with a restraining order against yourself.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Now that you have your life in a good place you can meet new women.

    This one does not want to be with you. You must accept that it's over.

    If you refuse to accept it, please seek professional help because this obsession is unhealthy.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    you are still the same unstable guy unsafe guy.
    Evidently she is correct. Your obsession of this woman is gone beyond anything that can be considered 'normal' interaction. Her? Well she's stupid or just as damaged to even be calling you for anything never ind setting up playdates with her daughter. Good lord!

    Get help for your control freak tendencies, your need to get your own way is beyond unreasonable, your need to not lose when you want to win is scary at best and sociopathic at worst.

    Your kid and hers do not need to be keeping the connection to this woman going. If she calls you to arrange a playdate then don't answer her for goodness sakes... Surely your common sense, for once can overrule your need to keep this BS with her going.

    Invite some friends from your son's school over for a playdate and leave the woman and her daughter to themselves.

    In the meantime get the professional help you need to learn when to stop harassing like you have. It's unbecoming, controlling, obsessive thinking at it's finest.

  9. #8
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    You have received tons of advice on this.

    Seek out a therapist.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    You having not job and crap had nothing to do with why this relationship fell apart. It was you lack of coping skills and anger issues. You need to admit you have a problem, take accountability for it and get some help. Until then, this will keep happening to you. Having your act together is only a small portion of what you need to do with yourself.

  11. #10
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    I sent her several texts and emails apologizing but she doesn't really care. I'm on no contact for a month., I'm not reaching out to her anymore. If she reaches out ill be polite and cordial, won't ask her out anymore.

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