We were together for 6months and did a long distance relationship. It was my first serious relationship. He ended it through text last month. It was a bad break up. And I admit it was my fault, I lied so much and hurt him deeply. He told me he will block me on all social medias and doesnít want anything to do with him.

He then randomly emailed me saying good luck for my interview and we had a long chat that night. He told me he was miserable and really miss me. He is still hurting but still in love with me. He doesnít want anything to do with me and want me out of his life.

On the same night, I emailed him about apologising and explaining about everything. I told him I respect his wish of cutting ties with me and I already posted all of his stuffs. I didnít expect him to reply at all at that time. I realised Iím so damaged as a person and want to learn and heal from this and be a better person. I think thatís the only way for me to honour my love for him and for myself.

He emailed me back on the same day saying heíll reply once he had time to think but heís not ignoring me or the email. I didnít reply anything because I donít know what to say.

And today (a week later) he emailed me again saying he really appreciate that I posted his stuffs and will email me back probably next week. And hope Iím well.

Iím confused, I thought he donít want anything to do with me. But why is he keep on saying he will email me back? I thought he wants to cut all ties with me. Is there anything else to say? I donít want to get hurt and just want to move on.