What to do when the guy I started dating had a car accident and stopped texting

So I just started talking to this guy since the beginning of this year. We have been on two dates and set up the third one where I was supposed to go to his house and he would make me dinner. But this past weekend he got into a car accident, luckily he wasn't physically hurt, but his car is completely destroyed (he really loved that car and spent a lot of time and money into it). He sent me a picture of it the next day saying he almost lost his life. I tried to call him and sent him a text to ask if he was ok. He answered the next day in the evening that he's sorry, but he's going through a lot right now. Which is completely understandable. I told him to take his time and that if he needed to talk, or needed anything, I was there for him. I have not heard from him since.. could this mean he no longer wants to date me due to what he's going through? I really liked him, things were going so well.

Could be that, you'll never know unless you ask him. However, it does seem as though he moved on.

Sorry to hear this. Bad luck. After 2 dates, he's not invested so he must attend to his problems without the interference of dating right now. He has a lot of headaches to contend with as well as family and friends to talk to. He knows your contact info. Just keep dating others. If he comes around great, if not great.

We have been on two dates .he got into a car accident. He sent me a picture of it the next day saying he almost lost his life.

Please do not take anything personal or as a rejection. As someone who got hurt physically in a car accident two weeks ago, as well as suffering major damage to my car- I can tell you right now that he is very preoccupied at the moment. He suffered what sounds like a total loss with his vehicle. He may have seen his life flash before his eyes in the crash too- like he said, he almost died. So he is probably disgusted about all of that, and now he has secure a replacement vehicle for the one he lost. If that was his only mode of transportation, he now has to make arrangements to get himself around. I'm sure he is very sore from the accident, and that can last for weeks or months even. He may have incurred medical expenses from the accident, he may be losing time off from work due to the soreness and lack of transportation, etc. You get the picture.

If the accident was his fault, he also has to worry about those liabilities as well. Let's hope that's not the case. If he had insurance, there are claims that have to be filed and numerous things that have to be dealt with. And these things all take time. So please dont take any of this personal. He may simply be overwhelmed and has to focus on recovering physically, mentally and financially from the accident. If he really likes you, he will reach out to you again once he gets a grip on the harsh realities hes currently experiencing. But since you only dated briefly, he may not. Either way, you will be fine. Keep dating. Good luck to you!

You have only been on two dates since January....hardly an investment and this is how he is treating it. The key is to keep your options open and date others. If he reaches out, fine, but don't be holdin by the phone for that text.

Good grief. This is not about you. This guy was in an accident, his car is history, he probably got banged up and has some physical injuries not requiring hospitalization. Leave him alone until he's ready to contact you. He knows how to reach you when he's ready. Dont be a pest.

After just two dates, you keep on dating others. As for this guy, you are strangers who only met twice. It's not your place to "be there" for him, as he has friends and family for that and he has plenty on his plate right now. Safe to say that dating isn't on his mind at the moment. You've already been polite and left the door open for him to reach out, but don't hold your breath. He might at some point or never. If he does reach out at some point then you can see where you are at, if you are still single and still interested.

He's got too much going on right now to be worried about dating. I doubt it has anything to do with you. I would just give him his space to take care of whatever he's going through right now. If he calls back after he's more settled, fine. I wouldn't pursue anything for now though and just respect his situation. You could always reach out to him after a bit of time if you're still feeling inclined, but for now I'd keep an arms length and let him get things sorted out as he needs to.

Had you been in his neighborhood on one of those dates or did he always come to yours? I'm wondering if he's married or otherwise involved and got cold feet about you coming around to his so he made an excuse?

Besides, having a car accident shouldn't mean he can't talk to you and keep you interested which he would be doing if he was interested in getting to know you better. There is a reason why he hasn't continued to keep you interested in him.

Move on. He's not interested due to one reason or another. You've only been on two dates so it shouldn't be too hard for you to get over any disappointment.

I guess it depends on how you define "going well"... were you looking for a casual or FWB type of relationship?

Given that you have been on two dates in 3 months I would say he isn't really interested anything serious... someone that is interested will want to keep the momentum going and to see you on a regular basis.

I am not sure I would hold out for this one, OP.

As the others have pointed out, 2 dates since the beginning of the year is quite little. Was there some specific reason that prevented you two from seeing each other more frequently?

Add his car accident to it and his heads-up that he has a lot going on right now, and I would advise you to keep moving. If he reaches out later you, you can re-assess, but I would be open to other options at this point.

2 dates since the first of the year doesn't exactly sound as there is any momentum to begin with.

At the same time the guy just totalled his car and has admitted he's not in a good place.

What choice do you have other than to carry on.

So I just started talking to this guy since the beginning of this year. We have been on two dates and set up the third one where I was supposed to go to his house and he would make me dinner. But this past weekend he got into a car accident, luckily he wasn't physically hurt, but his car is completely destroyed (he really loved that car and spent a lot of time and money into it). He sent me a picture of it the next day saying he almost lost his life. I tried to call him and sent him a text to ask if he was ok. He answered the next day in the evening that he's sorry, but he's going through a lot right now. Which is completely understandable. I told him to take his time and that if he needed to talk, or needed anything, I was there for him. I have not heard from him since.. could this mean he no longer wants to date me due to what he's going through? I really liked him, things were going so well.

For those wondering why we've only been on two dates. We started talking at the beginning of the year and went out for the 1st time in February. He lives in Germany and I live in the Netherlands, which are neighbouring countries, but there's still a bit of distance, plus I had quite a busy schedule.

For those wondering why we've only been on two dates. We started talking at the beginning of the year and went out for the 1st time in February. He lives in Germany and I live in the Netherlands, which are neighbouring countries, but there's still a bit of distance, plus I had quite a busy schedule.

Doesn't make any difference. You are still just two strangers who've barely met twice. You are not his gf, you are not his long term friend or family member. He already told you that he has way too much on his plate right now to be thinking about dating and that's understandable. He may reach out again at some point or not. Only time will tell. In the meantime, you need to focus on your life and other dates. Right now, this one is dead in the water so to speak. Realistically, you don't even know him enough to say that this is some great missed love or the one who got away. More like you liked each other enough to go on some dates, then things didn't pan out. Next.

I agree with others. Both of you are still strangers after only two dates.

Back off. Leave him alone. He recently had major upheaval in his life with a bad car accident, totaled car, he almost lost his life and now he has to deal with the aftermath, financial loss, lack of transportation, long and an arduous task of dealing with his insurance company and the headache of searching for a car replacement. Don't dump more onto his already full plate by bothering him.

You've already let him know that should he need anything, he knows how to contact you. That's enough. Don't bother him. He'll come around on his own timeline if and when he's ready to communicate with you and if not, he has since moved on ~ without you in his life.

If he resumes contact with you and if you see him again, a nice gesture would be to give him takeout or homemade dinner so he can warm it up at his convenience. That would be a nice and helpful gesture while his life is turned upside down.

If you only hear crickets and radio silence, then consider him history and move on with your own life.

Unfortunately, sometimes these things happen. Focus on other aspects of your life and the future will reveal itself. A car crash, a death, a new job, a move... At these times, we choose to be around certain people. We're a mess and we seek out the people we need.

It's great you left it open with the your last comment. Now just let it go. Don't check on him or anything. Because as understandable as it is, to be in a serious situation and not want to date a new person. There are people that would not use it as an excuse to cut things off. (And I don't mean it was an excuse. I just can't think of another way to say it.) I guess, it's to say, something bad happening to them, would not stop them from seeing you. You never want a person to have to tell you twice to go away.

The guy has no ride.

And all his date money is going to an insurance copay or a new car.

Its too soon for him to bum rides of you or expect you to carry the load on dates.

He can't date someone in the manner he would like in that regard.

Just leave it open - he may or may not contact you for another date.

I agree with others - to have the mindset that its not about you.

 

If he resumes contact with you and if you see him again, a nice gesture would be to give him takeout or homemade dinner so he can warm it up at his convenience. That would be a nice and helpful gesture while his life is turned upside down.

 

Disagree. Too early to "mother him" or be the church funeral care committee. you barely know his food preferences. Dating 4 months? Sure -- but not two dates. If he has insurance or a job, he will have a rental car soon -- i get that he wouldn't call you right away -- he would be healing (even if he walked away could feel pain the next day), and on the phone/stressing about car shopping. I would accept a coffee date from someone else if anyone else has been asking after a week or two of no response from him. you can always see him again if he asks, but keep plugging along.

For those wondering why we've only been on two dates. We started talking at the beginning of the year and went out for the 1st time in February. He lives in Germany and I live in the Netherlands, which are neighbouring countries, but there's still a bit of distance, plus I had quite a busy schedule.

Find somebody local to date.

Disagree. Too early to "mother him" or be the church funeral care committee. you barely know his food preferences. Dating 4 months? Sure -- but not two dates. If he has insurance or a job, he will have a rental car soon -- i get that he wouldn't call you right away -- he would be healing (even if he walked away could feel pain the next day), and on the phone/stressing about car shopping. I would accept a coffee date from someone else if anyone else has been asking after a week or two of no response from him. you can always see him again if he asks, but keep plugging along.

It's a nice gesture nonetheless IF closeness develops between now and whenever. She can always ask what his food preferences are and ask if he needs help with meals or he can gratefully and politely decline. The choice is his. Still, it doesn't hurt to ask and many people would welcome making one's life easier any way they can.

At any rate, the guy has too much stress on his plate at this time and can't afford any brain space for the OP, bloempj. It's time for both parties to move on and go their separate ways.

So I just started talking to this guy since the beginning of this year. We have been on two dates and set up the third one where I was supposed to go to his house and he would make me dinner. But this past weekend he got into a car accident, luckily he wasn't physically hurt, but his car is completely destroyed (he really loved that car and spent a lot of time and money into it). He sent me a picture of it the next day saying he almost lost his life. I tried to call him and sent him a text to ask if he was ok. He answered the next day in the evening that he's sorry, but he's going through a lot right now. Which is completely understandable. I told him to take his time and that if he needed to talk, or needed anything, I was there for him. I have not heard from him since.. could this mean he no longer wants to date me due to what he's going through? I really liked him, things were going so well.

give him space. he will be going through alot. but personally--if i was crazy about a girl and i was going through a tough time..i would be reaching out to her even more. i would pull back and see if he gets back..if he doesn't..he probs isn't worth it. maybe reach out one last time a few weeks later....

You can't count months of texting as time spent dating. It's the time spent together is the true investment in each other.

So update for those interested: He texted me, so all is good 😅

So update for those interested: He texted me, so all is good [emoji28]

So update for those interested: He texted me, so all is good 😅

I'm glad he came around. Glad his life was spared, too! He was lucky!