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Thread: Thoughts post two dates

  1. #1

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    Thoughts post two dates

    So I met this guy through the FB dating app. He liked me first - I liked him back- match etc. We talked and seemed to vibe really well on the app. He asked me to go with him to a brewery for our first date. We spent a couple of hours there, talking/ getting to know one another. The banter was there and flirting but nothing touchy feeling.

    He drove me to my car (there wasn't any space for me when I showed up so I had to use the back route) and I thought he was going to kiss me but I think I got nervous when I saw him looking at me longer than a minute - so I said good night / drove home.


    I texted him the following afternoon to let him know I had a great time. He texted me back and said he did too - we should see each other again. We tentatively agreed to meet again on Friday. Friday AM I get a text that he wasn't feeling well as far as going out but he was down for whatever I wanted to do. I didn't want to push so I suggested a night in. He gave me his address. He didn't sound like he did the previous date - raspy voice, occasional cough but was happy to see me. We watched a movie, talked more. I didn't want to kiss him in case I caught whatever it was he had but we close to each other, held hands, skin to skin contact- talked about our weeks. He invited me to go to the gym or the beach with him this week.

    I guess my confusion lies in the fact that we haven't physically done anything - no kiss or anything like that. I know I might be over reacting / over thinking this but a part of my is half still in / half out. I think I'm expecting him to take the initate as far as the physical or maybe I should be the one taking the initiative? Does he like me or maybe this is just who he is as a person?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I think you should relax!
    You met him for the first time which technically isn't considered a date. You hung out with him while he was sick and you're pencilled in for your first real date and second guessing everything.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Holy moley you are rushing things. You dont hardly know this guy and he was sick the night you went to his place. You wisely didnt make out with a sick person. What do you expect him to do? You dont want to be hopping into bed with a guy you barely know. If he's over his illness ask him if he'd like to go out and do something - movie, coffee, etc.

  4. #4
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    Slow your role.

    He was sick. Damn, with the Corona Virus, I would not want a date night and certainly not a make out session.

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  6. #5

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    Be happy he isnít all over you and is just trying to get to know you. Slow is NOT a bad thing and more people need to do things in that way nowadays. If you truly like him, keep hanging out and see where things go.

  7. #6
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    Well kissing is a sure fire way to catch a virus if he had one. But equally so is touching anything he touched , a door handle etc. lol
    What do you want from him exactly? And why?

    Why would he or you arrange to meet if he was sick?
    You will find out in a few days if he gave you a virus so maybe wait that out and then worry about the kiss!?

    Have a good week!

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by marie10
    I guess my confusion lies in the fact that we haven't physically done anything - no kiss or anything like that. I know I might be over reacting / over thinking this but a part of my is half still in / half out. I think I'm expecting him to take the initate as far as the physical or maybe I should be the one taking the initiative? Does he like me or maybe this is just who he is as a person?
    Is your only way to determine if a guys like you by the amount he tries to hump your leg? And if he doesn't does that mean he just doesn't like you?

    And what do you mean by 'maybe this is just who he is as a person?' non-pushy, you mean?

  9. #8
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    LOL the only time I've heard the phrase skin to skin contact is in connection with promoting successful mother-newborn breastfeeding and bonding. Yes please relax and coronavirus aside -people want to be at their best on early dates. And colds are the worst -you feel unattractive and gross even if you don't have a fever/aren't that sick. Cut him some slack.

  10. #9
    Silver Member dion333's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by marie10
    So I met this guy through the FB dating app. He liked me first - I liked him back- match etc. We talked and seemed to vibe really well on the app. He asked me to go with him to a brewery for our first date. We spent a couple of hours there, talking/ getting to know one another. The banter was there and flirting but nothing touchy feeling.

    He drove me to my car (there wasn't any space for me when I showed up so I had to use the back route) and I thought he was going to kiss me but I think I got nervous when I saw him looking at me longer than a minute - so I said good night / drove home.


    I texted him the following afternoon to let him know I had a great time. He texted me back and said he did too - we should see each other again. We tentatively agreed to meet again on Friday. Friday AM I get a text that he wasn't feeling well as far as going out but he was down for whatever I wanted to do. I didn't want to push so I suggested a night in. He gave me his address. He didn't sound like he did the previous date - raspy voice, occasional cough but was happy to see me. We watched a movie, talked more. I didn't want to kiss him in case I caught whatever it was he had but we close to each other, held hands, skin to skin contact- talked about our weeks. He invited me to go to the gym or the beach with him this week.

    I guess my confusion lies in the fact that we haven't physically done anything - no kiss or anything like that. I know I might be over reacting / over thinking this but a part of my is half still in / half out. I think I'm expecting him to take the initate as far as the physical or maybe I should be the one taking the initiative? Does he like me or maybe this is just who he is as a person?
    Do you really fancy him? honestly? sounds like there is perhaps some lack of physical attraction on both sides.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    So let me get this straight. You're fretting because he didn't get physical with you because he had a cold? Would you not mind getting sick? It was a mistake to enter his apt in the first place between not knowing him well enough and the fact that he was feeling under the weather.

    Why don't you wait and use common sense by allowing whatever ails him to pass? Then when he's healthy and no longer contagious, resume dating him and take it slow. What's the hurry and big rush?

    And yes, definitely get to know who he is, what his personality is like, observe his character for a long time and get a vibe from him which could be good or bad. No, don't take the initiative. Let the relationship flow on its own and see where it takes you AFTER you get to know each other better. Why kiss a stranger?

    Be smart.


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