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Thread: Update on my mother

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    My mom was the same. But in the end, when things got real she had regrets and was afraid. It was mind bending as her daughter, to be frightened and mad at her at the same time.

    If I could go back, I would have been harder on her. Not sure it would have changed things but I wouldn't have regrets that maybe I could have done more.

    but that's the grief talking . . .
    I know my mother very well. I've been dealing with her for 52 years. This is who she is and I'm not going to change that. To think I could would be an exercise in futility, and I know that. It's not mind bending for me because I am so familiar with it, but it is tiring. But I just have to trudge through and not let it get me down. My brother and sister are all too familiar with this as well and feel the same way about it. But they're a bit quicker to give up than I am. Maybe I inherited some of that stubbornness, too. I am a Taurus, lol. But I don't see it as being stubborn, I see it as making a choice to be there for someone who matters to me and who needs my support at this time.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Try diverting her attention on talking about positive things not related to her situation. I know it's hard but never give up or show a reaction to her negativity. I know that negative people try to make those around them negative so they can have some company to share their misery lol.

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Try diverting her attention on talking about positive things not related to her situation. I know it's hard but never give up or show a reaction to her negativity. I know that negative people try to make those around them negative so they can have some company to share their misery lol.
    Thank you. Yep, that's what I'm doing. She's not a generally negative person, just stubborn as a mule. But yeah, I go visit twice a day and we've been having nice conversations. Yesterday she told me she let them do the therapy on her upper body, which is something she was refusing before. A good sign! :)

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