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Thread: I may want out? Confused

  1. #41
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by meat50
    No, I am not in the habit of paying savior. No, I do not feel strong and needed. No, her needing me does not validate me.
    OK, so what prompted you to jump in and put her into an apartment and start footing her bills when she was already living fine and rent free with her family?

    As for alimony, courts avoid creating parasitic relationships. Meaning that if a person is deemed capable of getting a job and supporting themselves, alimony will not be granted. Little known fact about divorce.

    Anyway, this is self inflicted dilemma that's not that hard to resolve - end the relationship. Give her a fair amount of time to find gainful employment or move out and go back to living with her parents. If you are personally on the hook with the lease, then you have what? 4-5 months left? You can see if there is an out clause in the lease. If not, then talk to her about either moving out or starting to contribute at least some toward the lease after x time. Tell her you can't afford to anymore...stock market down, you are out of money, etc. See how long she sticks around after that....

    On top of that, some guy texting her on NYE and her lying to you about it....sounds like she already has another schmuck lined up. I wouldn't be too sure about the true reason for the divorce given her current shady behavior. You don't really know her, you have no idea what is true about her ex and her marriage or not. I get the impression that you got fast tracked and manipulated, but now your better common sense is kicking your arse telling you to wake up and get out, thus suddenly feeling cold.

  2. #42
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    The relationship has runs its course. Why are you gving her money? You should not be doing that. Wish her well and go about your life.

  3. #43
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Ex is a lawyer. She might be better off being on her own (financially) rather than having another man support her. Depending on where she lives, courts will take your support for her into consideration.

    Do her a favor and have her take baby daddy back to court so he can support his family as he should.

  4. #44
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    I hope the lease is not in your name?

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  6. #45
    Member meat50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I hope the lease is not in your name?
    No, it is not

  7. #46
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    Originally Posted by meat50
    No, it is not
    Thank god! Does she work?

    You have no responsibility to this woman. I suggest you cut the money and relationship off. Stop supporting her.

  8. #47
    Member meat50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Thank god! Does she work?

    You have no responsibility to this woman. I suggest you cut the money and relationship off. Stop supporting her.
    Yes, she's a teacher

  9. #48
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    She's using you financially and for emotional support. She's going through a divorce...I think you need to leave her to it.

    You're gonna come out drained financially and emotionally. There is no point and a waste of your time and money.
    Also her lying about the guy texting is a red flag =_=...

  10. #49
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    Is she still accepting inappropriate texts from her male friend?

  11. #50
    Member meat50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Is she still accepting inappropriate texts from her male friend?
    She hasn't said anything about it but it gets better.
    I stopped by to say hello. She went to go pick something up and handed me her phone. I don't think she realized that it was open or maybe she wanted me to see it. She reached out to a guy she dated for 4 months. She told me about him a while ago. She said that she thought that they were going to have a LTR and maybe longer but he ended it. This was fine as it was well before we met. Anyway, I saw the text and it said, "I can't lie...I think about a year ago...a lot has changed. I'll wait for your response." The part that gets me is that she randomly reached out to him and she began with "I can't lie" What does that mean? I get what she means by she thinks about a year ago - him
    Bottom line is that I guess I really am a schmuck.
    Last edited by meat50; 03-11-2020 at 12:26 AM.

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