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Thread: I may want out? Confused

  1. #31
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by meat50
    Iíd feel guilty just bailing on her. Thatís what Iím trying to get passed
    Why would you consider a grown woman to be your dependant?

    If you need to pay your way out, then do that. Break up, reduce the subsidies by x percent each month until they are zero.

  2. #32
    Member meat50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    And she is doing that again, so don't feel financially responsible for someone who has a husband and family to support her.
    She is currently in an apartment which Iím paying for. She gets child support but not alimony. It was calculated by some formula. She and her soon to be ex do not speak. He was abusive

  3. #33
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by meat50
    She is currently in an apartment which Iím paying for. She gets child support but not alimony. It was calculated by some formula. She and her soon to be ex do not speak. He was abusive
    How on earth did that situation come about?

    I asked before, you didn't respond. Are you in the habit of playing "savior" to women? Do you feel strong and needed when you are "helping" a woman who you perceive as struggling? Does her "needing" you validate you? If so, why?

  4. #34
    Member meat50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    How on earth did that situation come about?


    I asked before, you didn't respond. Are you in the habit of playing "savior" to women? Do you feel strong and needed when you are "helping" a woman who you perceive as struggling? Does her "needing" you validate you? If so, why?
    No, I am not in the habit of paying savior. No, I do not feel strong and needed. No, her needing me does not validate me.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    snipped... see below.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by meat50
    No, I am not in the habit of paying savior. No, I do not feel strong and needed. No, her needing me does not validate me.
    Then get rid of her. It's an unbalanced, non reciprocal relationship.
    Originally Posted by meat50
    She is currently in an apartment which Iím paying for. She gets child support but not alimony. It was calculated by some formula. She and her soon to be ex do not speak. He was abusive
    You're being a schmuck for supporting her.

    No need to feel guilty for getting yourself away from her.

    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Online Poster
    From what I've always understood it means "Opening Poster"

  8. #37
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Apparently the court felt she was capable of supporting herself. That's usually why they don't award spousal support.

    What job is she currently working?

    I didn't get spousal support either. I worked to pay for what I needed and the child support I got for my kids covered their needs. And yes, I did have school age children. And I didn't have parents I could live with. What a blessing that would have been!

    So, what gives? You just offered to pay rent for her and her kids?

  9. #38
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Given how deep you got yourself into this situation I can see that just walking away would be a little difficult.
    Tell her how you feel and give her a period of time, say the end of the month to figure things out for herself.
    There's really no easy way to undo this.

  10. #39
    Member meat50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Apparently the court felt she was capable of supporting herself. That's usually why they don't award spousal support.

    What job is she currently working?

    I didn't get spousal support either. I worked to pay for what I needed and the child support I got for my kids covered their needs. And yes, I did have school age children. And I didn't have parents I could live with. What a blessing that would have been!

    So, what gives? You just offered to pay rent for her and her kids?
    Sheís a preschool teacher. Heís an attorney

  11. #40
    Member meat50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    You're being a schmuck for supporting her.
    Apparently

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