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Thread: Boyfriend went back to wife's house..still comes to see me. WHat do I do ?

  1. #11
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    I believe we all advised you to leave him in the other thread.

  2. #12
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    i used the wrong choice of words. i dont mean stuck. its been a very difficult pregnancy because ive been so stressed out and havent been able to fully focus on my baby. i take care of myself i go to my prenatal appts..im doing everything im supposed to be doing and i feel very guilty because i havent been focusing solely on this baby. i am ready to love and care for him when he enters this world, no matter what. so no, adoption is not an option for me. this is my child and im going to love him with all my heart and take care of him just like i take care of my other son who is 10 years old. its just been a very confusing/stressful/sad time in my life and something that wasnt expected. i know it looks terrible on my end "messing with a married man" and i regret it everyday, however, when i met him he told me hes been separated for a while. he told me he tried to get a divorce in 2016 but didnt due to his daughter and financial reasons, and he did file while he was with me (im sure hes not going to go through with it now that we are not together and he living back in that house) but he fed me all these lies..moved in with me, his wife knew about everything, he was coming to dr appts with me for this baby..planning his life with this baby and me, and then he started getting suspicious of nonense and it got worse and worse....he made my pregnancy a Living nightmare by keeping me up night after night to argue about things that didnt even exist. it hasnt been easy. im starting to feel a little better because im realizing what a jerk he is. i made an appointment with a cousilor to kind of work out my thoughts and hopefully gain a better perspective of all this. i do have support of family and friends thankfully as well.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I hope you find some way out of this.

    Just know that when you are under a lot of stress, you're body is releasing adrenaline and high levels of cortisol. The stress you are under can very likely have an effect on the unborn baby.

    Take care of yourself, do the right thing for your kids.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by L1987
    i made an appointment with a cousilor to kind of work out my thoughts and hopefully gain a better perspective of all this. i do have support of family and friends thankfully as well.
    That's good to hear.

    Lean on those people. Don't expect much of anything from this man, beyond whatever the court orders him to provide your child with. You won't get a loving and lasting relationship out of him.

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  6. #15
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    thank you. i know ive been researching and reseaching and going to extra prenatal appointments because im so paranoid. i actually have an appt this thursday to check on the baby, but the dr said he should be fine. unfortunately, this has been a bad experience and it has nothing to do with being pregnant or the baby, its just dealing with all this mess while pregnant..i wish i could just let all this roll off my shoulders and not worry about anything but its sooo easier said than done. i have a lot of guilt and regret for jumping into this situation, with the person i did, and trusting him...etc etc etc. i know i need to get over all of that to move on. hopefully this counselor can help me navigate some of these feelings ive been feeling. sucks but i gotta do what i gotta do. i have not just 1 but 2 kids to worry about now. i am trying to stayfocused on my 10 year old because im sure hes been through enough this year and the guilt with that alone is killing me. thanks for all the advice, i know i sound like a broken record lol

  7. #16
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by L1987
    thank you. i know ive been researching and reseaching and going to extra prenatal appointments because im so paranoid. i actually have an appt this thursday to check on the baby, but the dr said he should be fine. unfortunately, this has been a bad experience and it has nothing to do with being pregnant or the baby, its just dealing with all this mess while pregnant..i wish i could just let all this roll off my shoulders and not worry about anything but its sooo easier said than done. i have a lot of guilt and regret for jumping into this situation, with the person i did, and trusting him...etc etc etc. i know i need to get over all of that to move on. hopefully this counselor can help me navigate some of these feelings ive been feeling. sucks but i gotta do what i gotta do. i have not just 1 but 2 kids to worry about now. i am trying to stayfocused on my 10 year old because im sure hes been through enough this year and the guilt with that alone is killing me. thanks for all the advice, i know i sound like a broken record lol
    It's a very brave thing to ask for help. Good for you.

  8. #17
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    You say "moved back to his wife's house." you mean he moved back to THEIR home. He is a married man. you are the sidepiece. Keep going to your prenatal appointments, don't let him try to date you and see a lawyer about what you have to do to get child support. Focus on the ten year old and baby -- and fill your child's lives with good male role models like your dad, brothers etc if you have them.

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