Cheated with teen girl

Hello!

 

I just feel devastated. Posting here is my only way to share my story and listen to your opinions.

 

I've been cheated.

 

We both are 23 and I spend the last 10 months with a guy that destroyed me. We both meet each other on our last semester of MBA abroad. We have been living together for 6 months. We came back to our city just 2 months ago and everything looked perfect after that day. He told me that he was walking to our friend's home and call me back in 2 minutes. And then he disappeared for next 4 hours. It was late evening and I thought something happened to him. The boy he was going to is my very close friend too. So I called and asked if he was okay. He told me that he had no idea where he was and other friends were trying to contact as well. I was more scared and nervous and start calling madly. I could not imagine him cheating. He answered me very rudely and told me he was sleeping.

Next day he told me that he was with another woman. Later discovered that this woman was 17 years old girl.

I was shocked.

 

He told me that he didnt have trust in me(because of really silly reason) and he could not see our future. That he could not love me because of his doubts. And also he wanted to try someone new just for a night. That this girl was super active and pushy and wanted to meet him. Looks he wanted another adventure. He really feels bad that he made this. To hurt me that much. But that doesnt change anything

 

But right now I am confused. I dont know how I have to feel. Definitely I love him and I am mad why I still can love him. In my mind, sometimes I hate him for what he has done. But sometimes I completely forget what happened to me and continue loving him.

 

I wanted to cut contacts to him but he told me he wants to be with me forever. No matter as a partner or a friend. He loves me the most. Because I am the most the kind and great hearted girl.

 

I just dont know what to do.

 

Your advice matters a lot to me.

 

Thank you.

Delte and block him and all his people completely from your life, social media and messaging apps. He's a disrespectful creep.

But right now I am confused. I dont know how I have to feel. Definitely I love him and I am mad why I still can love him. In my mind, sometimes I hate him for what he has done. But sometimes I completely forget what happened to me and continue loving him.

Well, you're not going to get over loving him overnight. You're going to need some time to rehab from the habit of him being in your life so take it one day at a time, go zero contact so that you can rehab and you will stop loving him to the point you are indifferent to him.

 

I wanted to cut contacts to him but he told me he wants to be with me forever.

I will tell you one thing that you should really listen to. If you stay with a man that would cheat on you during the honeymoon period because he wanted to try something new, then you will be with a man that cheats on you for his entire life until he finds someone to take your place. Have some self-respect, lookt to your personal boundaries to help you get yourself away from the d-bag you THINK you love.

 

They say it takes about two weeks (of no contact) for every YEAR you have been with someone to get over them once you accept you are better off without them. You've only been with him 10 months so if you get rid of him now, stop talking to him, accept you are better off without him, you will be feeling that you DON'T love him in no time at all.

 

Don't disrespect yourself by staying in any type of friendship with him. He's not lifemate material, clearly and being his "friend" will only keep you feeling you still love him while he goes about being the University bicycle where every girl on campus takes a ride on him.

I would block him and inform her parents.

A female of 17 is not a woman, she is a GIRL. Block and delete this jerk from your life, you can do better.

 

He told me that he didnt have trust in me(because of really silly reason) and he could not see our future. That he could not love me because of his doubts. And also he wanted to try someone new just for a night. That this girl was super active and pushy and wanted to meet him. Looks he wanted another adventure. He really feels bad that he made this. To hurt me that much. But that doesnt change anything

.

 

He says and does all this and then says he loves you the most?

What he says is one thing. What he does is hateful.

 

I get your confused. You have to be reeling because of all of this. But any future with this guy will be riddled with mistrust and wondering when he'll do this again.

 

Believe you deserve better and tell him to pound sand and get lost.

He does not love you, if he did it would have stopped him from touching another woman.

 

You need to be strong and not allow a man to treat you this way. He cheated and chased another woman. That is enough reason to end things.

 

You don't need a man like this and you are lowering your standards if you allow him back after what he has done.

He will respect you even less if you let him get away with it and will more than likely do it again because he knows you won't go anywhere even if he touches another girl.

 

Don't build a miserable life for yourself like that. Give yourself something better and get rid of the cheater.

Someone who loves you doesn't cheat on you. It's that simple. Look at what he is doing instead of what bs is coming out of his lying cheating mouth.

 

Also, cheating is a form of abuse. This guy is not some prize, he is a low life you need to kick out of your life immediately and with extreme prejudice. It doesn't mean that you will just turn off all the emotions that you feel for him in a snap, however, it does mean that you muster all the self respect you have and show him the door. The feelings will subside, but if you don't get rid of him, the abuse will continue as what you are telling him if you take him back is that you are good with being cheated on Are you? No. Send this loser packing.

Um, cheating is horrible enough, but the fact that he did so with an underage girl, yeah. You need to kick this guy to the curb now. Pedo freak.

If she is under the age of sexual consent then he could be charged with statutory rape even if she consented or as he says, she pushed him for it.

He doesnt love, respect you. Let him go, he has lot to learn in life.

Your shock is totally understandable. This is your state of confusion which is natural. But time does heal all wounds.

 

Some of what has happened is due to age/maturity. You both are very young. Women, by design, are more mature at any age than men. But he, on the other hand, is not there. His dalliance reflects the fact that he is not that much into you to forgo other women. I don’t know if that’s immaturity or his personal preference.

 

I will also be bold and say that it is possible that he is truly remorseful and values you more after experiencing the shortcomings of 17-year-old. Only you can ascertain his sincerity. People make mistakes. We all do of varying nature. Some profit from them and never repeat.

 

If he is truly remorseful, I am very sure that he will appreciate you substantially more and be your trusted support. The reason I say that is because I have done exactly what he did to you. I regretted that and my girlfriend believed in my genuine apology. 14 years later, our love has not faded a bit rather we can’t imagine a life without each other.

 

Whatever you decide, please remember we are with you.

 

P.S.: You could reach me by private messaging if you like. I am also an MBA from an Ivy League business school.

Whether he is remorseful or not, is not the point. He is messing around with an underage girl. That could get him charged.

Don't trust a man like this. Cheaters are cheaters, end of.

 

If you go back to him, it will only be a matter of time before he cheats again.

I am also an MBA from an Ivy League business school.

 

May I respectfully ask what this has to do with anything? Studying business has nothing to do with counselling or advising on personal matters of the heart.

The reason I mentioned MBA was simply to tell her that my educational background is same as hers.

Oh okay, no worries. Congrats on that by the way, an MBA from an Ivy League school is impressive.

I wanted to cut contacts to him but he told me he wants to be with me forever.

 

No he didn't. he said he couldn't trust and love you.