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Thread: How to get back in touch considering I'm blocked everywhere.

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    "There's nothing to fix," she said. Her truth. If my girlfriend, with whom I live with, said that to me this evening I would be crushed every which way to Sunday. I'd lose the plot for a good stretch, no doubt. But that truth of hers would eclipse whatever truth my brain wanted to produce, and my work—in therapy, say—would be about coming to terms with that, so instead of breaking the brain to fix what broke I could mend the heart to just be ready for something that works, in reality.
    If I had a live in girlfriend that said that to me I'd start a fight, and try to drag her to therapy. It's a difference in attachment. Plus, she gets really emotionally reactive. She's litterally the angriest person I have ever met.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Get to a doctor MD for a complete evaluation. Get a referral to a licensed qualified psychologist. Take appropriate medications and followup therapy. She's right there is 'nothing to fix". You have a dangerous obsession which could lead to a restraining order if you act out on it.
    Originally Posted by Grimlockkk
    I just got back there's "nothing to fix." Sent her another message and she just blocked me.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Get to a doctor MD for a complete evaluation. Get a referral to a licensed qualified psychologist. Take appropriate medications and followup therapy. She's right there is 'nothing to fix". You have a dangerous obsession which could lead to a restraining order if you act out on it.
    Except, I don't. How is it dangerous to want to get back together with the woman I love?

    You do understand she was abusive in the relationship. Hitting me, and encouraging suicide. I was too, but more in the guilt tripping sense. I was trying to stop the issues with maladaptive behaviors learned from my parents. (buying stuff, guilt tripping, etc)

    Sure, I can leave her alone, which I do. (the last thing I want to do is cause distress for her) I guess the only option is high school reunion, or get a friend to contact her ex-best friend, (she has a few) and see how things are between them.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Get to a doctor MD for a complete evaluation. Get a referral to a licensed qualified psychologist. Take appropriate medications and followup therapy. She's right there is 'nothing to fix". You have a dangerous obsession which could lead to a restraining order if you act out on it.
    I do not understand why the advice is just leave her alone, and move on. I still dream about her. Those dreams are clearly about her.

    I just want to know how to re-establish trust, and take things slow.

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  6. #25
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    You have no clue if this woman is even still single, OP.

    You’re getting way, way ahead of yourself here.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    You can't make someone want to be with you.

    How many times in the past 10 years has she reached out to you? When has she indicated she wants to join you in "trying to fix this"?

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry but barging into someone's life after 10 years with these armchair diagnoses is creepy as hell.
    Originally Posted by Grimlockkk
    I'm pretty sure she has BPD and an avoidant attachment style.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    You have no clue if this woman is even still single, OP.

    You’re getting way, way ahead of yourself here.
    She's in my rolodex of people I search on Google out of curiosity. Actually, just two or three people. The other two are former flatmates.

    I'm pretty sure right now she's single, and might be having an affair.

    I'm fine with not dating. I'm more reasonable with logistics than I was when 24. I would have been fine having a long distance committed relationship. She's definitely very cute, but looks are worthless while dating. The biggest mistake a lot of young women make is being the hot chick. My understanding is in the second half of life hot chicks end up struggling. Beautiful women do fine. It's hot that ends tragically.

  10. #29
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    So I looked up the info on MDMA, Ecstasy or Molly. You are out of your mind if you think that dosing on that with her (presuming she even wants to do so, which I doubt) is an option.

    It is illegal and there is no quality control and no identified therapeutic effect on people. it is strictly a dangerous chemical used recreationally by drug takers--period. Essentially, it is an addled-brained idea.

    An excerpt about it from [Register to see the link]


    'the synthetic drugs found in Molly can cause chest pains, paranoia, hallucinations, psychotic and violent behavior, dehydration, kidney failure and, in several instances, death. Molly samples have also been found to contain addictive drugs, such as methamphetamine, heroin, ketamine, PCP and amphetamines. The ingredients in Molly have been implicated in the emergency room visits and deaths of people who assumed they were taking pure MDMA.'

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Grimlockkk
    She's in my rolodex of people I search on Google out of curiosity. Actually, just two or three people. The other two are former flatmates.

    I'm pretty sure right now she's single, and might be having an affair..
    And what exactly have you found on Google which leads you to believe she is single and possibly having an affair?

    I would print out this entire thread and take it to your therapist, OP. Your thought process here is out of touch with reality.

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