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Thread: I deeply love with him.

  1. #1

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    I deeply love with him.

    I am an Indian girl. In 2016 I have met a guy(still remeber his eyes looking at me), he was manager of a company and I've been there for training. I don't know i felt something, at that time I thought it is just a attraction or crush. I always stalk him checking his social profiles, looking at his pictures and all. I have never talked to him. In 2017 I completed my training and left that company. But still continues with my stalking😄

    In 2019 I got his cell number and called him for the first time, it was normal talk like hello , how are you and all. Then I called him again on his b'day which was on February, then he said that he need my help for some of his work(professional) I agreed and then we met personally for the first time and then he told me about his marriage, that he is getting married in april.. Till that time I am not okay.

    After his marriage we have never talked not even on a voice call. I don't how but for rest of the time i knew that he is not okay. I never knew the reason but still I was feeling that something is wrong.. On 1 jan 2020 i called him again.

    And he told me about his marriage, he got married under pressure of his parents. Just to make them happy he sacrifices his choices. But he is still single(never been with his wife). Before marriage he told his wife that he'll never be with her and will never love her. I don't know after knowing that why she got married with him.

    And now he is not with his family, he live alone. Because they think he ran away from his responsibilities.

    I still love him a lot. I don't know how but i can feel his pain. Whenever he is in or was in pain I come ro know. And knowing that he is not happy I am not happy too.

    I 've told him to accept that girl as a wife, but he said i don't want to compromise. Mainly he is in a guilt that somewhere he is responsible for spoiling the life of that girl but still cannot hurt himself by accepting hurt.

    Just a week ago he said he wanna meet me and discuss about so many things. He cares about me i can feel it.. I think he was also in love with me but never told because of his marriage things. He still says nothing because he think he is not good for me may be or this relationship gonna hurt both of me. But I cant leave him knowing that he has noone other than me(as a wellwisher or friend). I have not even expressed my feelings because of fear.

    I feel helpless, don't know what to do i wanna meet him too but i control my feelings too much it takes too much effort to do that. Now we both want each other but we both are controlling ourself. Don't know what is right or wrong. We are bounded with responsibilities. I wanna hug him and want to say everything will be alright... I am always with you..... I love you.. but i can't.

    Suggest me what Can I do?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Is it acceptable in your culture for you to be his mistress? Will your family approve?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Stop. He's married. Leave him alone. Are you scheduled for an arranged marriage also? Why are you chasing him?
    Originally Posted by Shomi
    he told me about his marriage, that he is getting married in april.. Till that time I am not okay.

    A

  4. #4

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    Hello boltnrun. Not acceptable nor I want to be

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  6. #5

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    Dont judge too fast wiseman2 . Thinking of these things I don't even talk to him. Its just I continous think about him. I alao want him to accept his wife, but don't know how to make him realise.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    First things let me say: Shame on you for getting in the middle of this and imposing yourself into the life of a married man. Surely you respect yourself more than being this man's mistress?

    Secondly:
    And now he is not with his family, he live alone. Because they think he ran away from his responsibilities.
    He HAS shirked his responsibilities and he's a weak-ass d-bag for not being man enough to tell his parents that he doesn't want to marry this girl.

    Thirdly: I suspect he's a big fat liar who is just telling you what you want to hear. You? Well you should kick yourself in the behind and get over your infatuation of a weak man not worth your thoughts. Surely you don't want to be his piece on the side while he remains in his marriage. Surely!

    Finally:
    Originally Posted by Shomi
    Dont judge too fast wiseman2 . Thinking of these things I don't even talk to him. Its just I continous think about him. I alao want him to accept his wife, but don't know how to make him realise.
    Its not your job to make him realise. Step away, chica. Zero contact to him and accepting that you're wasting your thoughts on a less then honourable twit.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Shomi
    Hello boltnrun. Not acceptable nor I want to be
    Then why are you pursuing him? Is divorce acceptable in his culture? Would your family accept you marrying a man who is divorced?

  9. #8

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Stop. He's married. Leave him alone. Are you scheduled for an arranged marriage also? Why are you chasing him?
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    First things let me say: Shame on you for getting in the middle of this and imposing yourself into the life of a married man. Surely you respect yourself more than being this man's mistress?

    Secondly: He HAS shirked his responsibilities and he's a weak-ass d-bag for not being man enough to tell his parents that he doesn't want to marry this girl.

    Thirdly: I suspect he's a big fat liar who is just telling you what you want to hear. You? Well you should kick yourself in the behind and get over your infatuation of a weak man not worth your thoughts. Surely you don't want to be his piece on the side while he remains in his marriage. Surely!

    Finally: Its not your job to make him realise. Step away, chica. Zero contact to him and accepting that you're wasting your thoughts on a less then honourable twit.

    Thanks I think i should leave him on his own.. Here its an big issue now. Because Indian parents think that its their responsibility to get their children married to the person with same caste, good bank balance, good reputation etc. And you know what we do that just for their happiness but we can't accept it. The caste, bank balance aren't required to get married... what important is love, care and responsible person. Marriage is not a deal which you have to crack.

  10. #9

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Stop. He's married. Leave him alone. Are you scheduled for an arranged marriage also? Why are you chasing him?
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Then why are you pursuing him? Is divorce acceptable in his culture? Would your family accept you marrying a man who is divorced?
    Yes divorce is possible. The girl is living with her family. Here one more thing to consider. He told that girl that i am not gonna accept you, why she didn't told her family. Here both are wrong boy ans girl also.The only condition I accept him is if he takes responsibility of his wife. I mean whatever the girl is dealing with he has to solve her whether he or his family settle down her with someone else.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Shomi
    Thanks I think i should leave him on his own.. Here its an big issue now. Because Indian parents think that its their responsibility to get their children married to the person with same caste, good bank balance, good reputation etc. And you know what we do that just for their happiness but we can't accept it. The caste, bank balance aren't required to get married... what important is love, care and responsible person. Marriage is not a deal which you have to crack.
    Yes, I understand but I also understand that if he did not want to marry this particular girl then he could have asked his parents to pick someone else or, if they wouldn't do that then he could have let himself be disowned. Instead he went along with their choice and now lives alone. How is that honouring his family? This is why I think he is just trying to groom you and is lying to you about his situation. He has caused his parents to be dishonoured. I'm sure her parents are looking down at all of them right now if their daughter is still living with them and he hasn't been acting as a husband who accepts his parents choices and behaves like a good son.

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