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Thread: Guilt feelings

  1. #1
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    Guilt feelings

    Hello! My husband of almost 40 years died almost a year and a half ago. Does anybody else have feelings of guilt, for just being alive???

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you read books about grieving such as the stages of grief etc? Have you considered therapy to help you navigate through thing? Make sure you are not dating this old acquaintance to "replace" your late husband. Take it slowly. While "survivor guilt" has been documented it usually refers to catastrophic events.


    Support groups, therapy and date to be with someone new, not to assuage loneliness or fill a void..[Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by AndieA
    My husband of almost 40 years died almost a year and a half ago.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I think it's common to feel that way, especially if you find that you aren't absolutely despondent at all times.

    I think we set up expectations for how we are supposed to feel in certain circumstances, and when we don't feel that way we question ourselves. I think that is probably what you are doing.

    After 40 years of marriage, you probably expected to feel absolutely crushed when your husband died. And if you feel yourself less than crushed, you may worry that you are dishonoring your marriage and your love for each other.

    But you're not. Your grief will probably come and go in waves. It usually does.

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    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Andie: What exactly triggers your guilt? Can you expand on that?

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    Silver Member Spawn's Avatar
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    HUGs to you.
    Sorry for your loss Andie.
    Hang in there.

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    That it is a good question...it is usually when I'm enjoying a good meal, or a beautiful day. It is not something that is overwhelming, I am not generally depressed.

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    Thank you Spawn!

  9. #8
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    Thank you Wiseman 2. I'm fairly certain I'm not dating to replace my husband. I was curious what others have felt. It doesn't keep me from enjoying life or functioning normally. But it does occur occasionally. I appreciate your input, you are very insightful !

  10. #9
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    Thank you Jibralta, I think you are correct!


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