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Thread: Losing a friend

  1. #1
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Losing a friend

    A friend of mine has been behaving a little weird lately, I feel like she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore.
    I know this might seem like we're back at high school but we've been friends for almost 3 years so I'm a little confused and sad.
    So we would meet on a regular basis and were pretty close but lately it seems she hangs out with everyone else except for me. We both have our own group of friends and I'm definitely not someone who needs their friends 24/7 but we'd always find time to meet up.
    The last time we met she was a little weird/annoyed but she's going through stuff so I didn't think too much about it. We were supposed to attend this event last weekend, she said she couldn't go because she was afraid of the coronavirus. Yesterday we were randomly texting when she just told me she cant meet up this weekend because she's busy. I didn't even ask her about the weekend plans, so I thought it was a bit weird.
    The thing is she hangs out with other people, goes to concerts and stuff, so I have the impression she doesn't want to find time to meet up with me.
    I know I can't do much about it, and I don't want to force people to spend time with me if they don't want to, I just needed to vent. I feel a little disappointed, like she knows I am going through some stuff too and I don't feel I could talk to her right now.
    Thank you for reading this!

  2. #2
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    That must be frustrating to be left guessing. Is she the type to be triggered by the coronavirus panic some are experiencing? Have you asked her if she is upset with you for some reason?

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    For some reason, at the moment, spending time with you isn't a priority to her. I'm also interested in your answer to the question Batya asked you about (her being upset with you for some reason).

    I hope it all works out!

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. She may be more of an acquaintance than a friend. Perhaps she can't handle other people's problems or depressed moods when she is having her own stuff.
    Originally Posted by kim42
    I feel a little disappointed, like she knows I am going through some stuff too and I don't feel I could talk to her right now.

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  6. #5
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    That must be frustrating to be left guessing. Is she the type to be triggered by the coronavirus panic some are experiencing? Have you asked her if she is upset with you for some reason?
    Yes, she's afraid of the coronavirus, but it's not like she would stay in her apartment all the time, she attends concerts, goes to work, so it felt more like an excuse when she didn't want to go this event. I don't think I did/said something that could upset her, I was a little late to her birthday brunch because I had this terrible headache in the morning but I assume that's not something to be upset about. I met someone I really like about the same time she met a guy, and it's true the last time we met she didn't seem excited when I was talking about him (I didn't talk about him for hours either). So I can't think of a real reason to be upset, but maybe I am missing something here.

  7. #6
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry this is happening. She may be more of an acquaintance than a friend. Perhaps she can't handle other people's problems or depressed moods when she is having her own stuff.
    We've been friends for 3 years and didn't fight, it was a pretty solid friendship (at least from my point of view), she would always reschedule if something came up, but it's true she's changed a little, and perhaps is looking for new friends. We would cheer each other up, and then again I'm not super moody either, I told her I'm not very happy lately, but didn't complain too much. I don't know, maybe she's just changing and going through a phase when she prefers other people.

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    Did you apologize for being late to her birthday? Are you late often? Is it worth it to talk to her about this?

  9. #8
    Silver Member kim42's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Did you apologize for being late to her birthday? Are you late often? Is it worth it to talk to her about this?
    Yes I did, I also sent her a message before the brunch actually started, I mean she's late sometimes too, just as me, I don't think it's a big deal, at least she never mentioned it. I think I'll wait to see if she suggests meeting up next week or so, and if not, I'll just talk to her about it.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kim42
    perhaps is looking for new friends.
    Maybe she is just moving on.

    My sister has always been like this. She was a climber as a child and it's continued on through adulthood.

    I can't tell you how many 'best friends' she's dumped since she was a little girl. She's always moving on to the next big thing, and she never looks back.

    She's a great charmer and it's made her very successful in business.

    So, try not to take it too personally. Your friend probably isn't.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Cheer up. Did you know that actress Kristen Bell is a fellow sloth-lover?


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