Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: What do I do?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    1

    What do I do?

    My partner of 4 years went away for a week on a family visit. Whilst on this visit, a family get together was arranged at the parents house. Included in the family get together was the ex who by all accounts is still friendly with the parents. To cut a long story short, my partner and ex, ended up sleeping in the same bedroom and in the same double bed that night despite the ex having another room prepared. I was not informed of any of this and only found out when I had suspicions. I was first told that they slept in separate rooms. My suspicions and paranoia knew that there was something more to this and I snooped in on a conversation they had been having on a chat site for quite some time which alarmed me. I was enraged with jealosy and hurt and at 4 in the morning texted the ex from my partners phone " M knows we slept together" The response was " "who has said something?" The next day I confronted my partner who then admitted that they had indeed slept together but were fully clothed. My partner also said that they went to bed in separate rooms but my partner awoke in the morning to find the ex asleep in the bed as well.needless to say a lot of alcohol had been consumed. I have been told that nothing happened and I have to believe that it didnt for my own sanity. On a break, about a year ago, they actually did sleep together. My mind is going crazy and I am struggling to deal with it. I need good strong advice apart from LTB which I guess will be the stock response.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,623
    Gender
    Female
    Mike, Mike, Mike. You can't trust an untrustworthy person. All you need to do is get the courage to end your relationship with this person who is untrustworthy, inappropriate and a liar.

    Up to you, son. Talk to yourself and figure out why you continue on with someone who is still very much involved with someone they sleeps with (in the carnal sense) when you are on a break and with someone in the so called and admitted to "platonic sense" when you're not. Figure out why you stay with someone that you need to take a break from as well because when you're with the right person, you don't need to keep doing that.

    Any person worth being with would NEVER do what they did nor would they allow it (if they did sneak in)... If your partner drinks that much that they didn't notice then there's yet another reason to dump them blech!
    Last edited by ThatwasThen; 03-04-2020 at 01:55 PM.

  3. #3
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    440
    It depends on what kind of relationship you want. You are with some who is more than willing to lie to you, sleep with other people and lie some more. If that is okay with you, then there is no problem. If it is not, you are going to have to break up. You cannot change someone who cheats into someone who is trustworthy and loving with any strategies or love or whatever. This is who he is. He is not going to change. You will spend a lot of time wondering if he is being truthful, lying, sleeping around and it will eat away at your self esteem and confidence, not to mention eating up a huge amount of emotional energy that could be spent wisely elsewhere. So is this what you want for the future or do you want to treat yourself better than that?

  4. #4
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    16,951
    Gender
    Female
    I'll bet my mortgage that you didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday, along with you were born at night, but it wasn't last night.

    Ask yourself why you want to believe this nonsense...

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,816
    Gender
    Female
    You've been together for four years, she had sex with this guy a year ago and now they want you to believe they slept together fully clothed and nothing happened? Come on?!

    Let's say nothing happened. Anything is possible. But the mere fact that she risked losing you before by having sex with this same exact guy suggests she has zero respect for you and this relationship that she would fathom getting in bed with him . . . . .again. ?? Even if she kept her clothes on.

    I can only imagine you worked really hard to learn to trust her again. . and this is how she treats this relationship?

    I don't know how you come back from that. Sorry, my friend. But I'd be done.
    Last edited by reinventmyself; 03-04-2020 at 02:46 PM.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    37,591
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry to hear this. You know what to do. You knew when she slept with him before. Why is he hanging out with her family? Are they scheduled for an arranged marriage?
    Originally Posted by Mike1961
    On a break, about a year ago, they actually did sleep together.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •