She's ended it due to her head not being right!

Hi there. I have posted on here about a previous relationship I was in before, fortunately I managed to get over that and i found someone who is amazing back in December! I was at a very low point in my life and she came and pretty much saved me, I fell in love straight away and so did she! We promised each other the world and loved every moment of being with each other.. but then I started little arguments just to see if she cared (I did it with my ex) and fishing for things that weren't there.. finally she had enough and we decided slow things down (this was last week) then she started to become distant and very angry, she works nights 12 hour shifts and isnt sleeping well, she said her head is all over the place but she still loves me. Today, she broke it off and wants to be friends for now because she wants to protect me when she's being nasty, she said she saw the hurt in my eyes and couldnt do it to me anymore, she constantly feels sick and anxious.. so tonight I blocked her, because I'm not sure i can be friends with someone I love, yes it's only been 2 months but I do love her! I rang her and she told me i was being childish and selfish and that she needed to get her head right which i replied you shouldn't of made promises you couldn't keep, you've given up on us so quickly, she got angry and felt sick at the fact that I blocked her and it ended in a screaming match.. I unblocked her and we spoke, she wants to talk properly tomorrow and that she cares about me, she said she's never been treated like this in a relationship before.. I know she's been treated pretty bad, so have I but what the hell do I do now? Thanks.

Why are you starting fights about nothing to “see if she cared”? How immature. I understand why she’s upset, I’d be upset too. Leave her be, please and stop playing games in your relationships.

Because for 3 years I was used to being with someone who didn't care about me and the only way to get any sort of reaction was to start an argument. It's stupid and yes, you're right immature. I don't want to play games, I want to settle down.

Why are you starting fights about nothing to “see if she cared”? How immature. I understand why she’s upset, I’d be upset too. Leave her be, please and stop playing games in your relationships.

Because for 3 years I was used to being with someone who didn't care about me and the only way to get any sort of reaction was to start an argument. It's stupid and yes, you're right immature. I don't want to play games, I want to settle down.

Game playing will f with her head. I understand her being mad. You need to stop doing that. I'm sorry you felt like your ex didn't care. No reason to take it out on the next person. Be honest.

Also, if you yourself still have self esteem issues, perhaps you should figure those out before you actually enter a healthier relationship and settle down.

As for night shifts, I can tell you. It does really make you crazy.. Especially those periods you don't get proper sleep. Only three hours left of my own shift. So I can testify to that.

Blocking and unblocking is also a childish game play. Seriously, stop it.

Stop creating drama.

Listen to what she has to say. Say what you feel you need to say, tell her about your insecurities. Apologise for games. Then take appropriate action to follow up on your apology. And then back off. Give her space and time.

I was briefly with someone who did this sort of thing too, OP. It was exhausting and killed my attraction to him.

If this has been a pattern for you, to dive in too fast and then "test" your partner, I would strongly urge you to seek counselling. You cannot hold your current partner emotional hostage for a past love's mistakes. It is not healthy to run into a new relationship full steam ahead, either. Both types of behavior hint at some underlying dysfunction. Saying you don't want to play games is one thing; doing it is another.

How do you plan to tackle your insecurities? What are you going to do when you feel yourself going into an emotional spiral? If you don't know, or don't feel you can manage your own emotions effectively, talk to a professional who can help guide you. Otherwise, this will happen again in future relationships.

Sorry to hear this. It sounds like you wanted it to end and rather than breaking up you started to undermine things and force her hand to do it. That's ok. It worked, she's gone and now you can do whatever you want.

I started little arguments just to see if she cared (I did it with my ex) and fishing for things that weren't there.. finally she had enough and we decided slow things down.