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Thread: This is a strange one

  1. #21
    Silver Member Spawn's Avatar
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    You dont want so much drama in life , what would happen you end up married , this is the way its going to be? you have started accepting her way of blocking and she is ready to block you for any future incidents.

    Once we start treating us like this we basically are not looking at a mature relationship.
    Hate social media, not sure why we cant meet up, resolve any differences in person.

  2. #22
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    Do you guys think itís possible that she is afraid to take a chance? I know she likes me and she said her feelings got really strong and thatís the reason she wants to stop this- so no one gets too hurt.
    Minus her actions to prove her feelings, for someone that knows what a block button is, saying that was a lot of effort. Am I wrong to not doubt her feelings?

    *i never blew her phone up with messages

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by captaindrey
    Do you guys think itís possible that she is afraid to take a chance?
    No. I don't think she's afraid.

    I think her feelings are actually no longer as strong as she says, but she doesn't know how to be honest with you about and end it kindly. Women who really want to be with you are not going to tell you that things should end before they go any further. We wouldn't risk losing a guy we feel strongly about.

    Sorry, man. I know you like her but I don't think the feeling is totally mutual anymore.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by captaindrey
    You know what really gets me? Is that the time we were good was so good and thinking about her in that setting makes me sad because itís not going to be with me. And I like her too much to say ďf it I donít care.Ē Iím not a knight in shining armor but I know Iíd do the best I could to make her happy. Making my partner happy is how Iím happy.
    Thatís fine, but donít you want that sentiment to be mutually reciprocated? You deserve to be respected, honored and cherished. Nothing youíve said here sounds like sheís willing, capable or interested in those things.
    Last edited by jul-els; 03-04-2020 at 02:34 AM.

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  6. #25
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    Duplicate post. Disregard.
    Last edited by jul-els; 03-04-2020 at 02:33 AM.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Do you guys think itís possible that she is afraid to take a chance?
    It doesn't read to me like that, it sounds more like she's used to her own way all the time and you have no say. Why would you want a relationship that one sided?

    The way she blocks you and dumps you so easily as well, shows that she's not as into you as you want her to be. She's not behaving the way she is out of fear, she's doing it to show you she can take or leave you, she's not bothered too much one way or the other.

    It does sound like you really want her to care like you do and that you want it to work, but you're forcing it and jumping through her hoops.
    It's slightly making you look desperate. Relationships aren't supposed to be this drama filled or make you feel subservient.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by captaindrey
    You know what really gets me? Is that the time we were good was so good and thinking about her in that setting makes me sad because itís not going to be with me. And I like her too much to say ďf it I donít care.Ē Iím not a knight in shining armor but I know Iíd do the best I could to make her happy. Making my partner happy is how Iím happy.
    To be honest, from the dating scene, many women these days get turned off by this very Beta approach. They don't want a push over man who will do everything they want at the snap of the fingers. There's no challenge to that, no sense of excitement, just a lapdog who will do whatever they say to keep them happy.

    And, if making your partner happy, makes you happy, are you terribly unhappy when you are single with a desperate need to get into a relationship?

    I see double standards in her. She shuts you down and blocks you as a way of dealing with issues, but if you go quiet to contemplate something, then she gets wound up for not sharing.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It sounds like you were both honest about why it wouldn't work out. Agree it's better to cut your losses early on.Go no contact and focus on school and work.
    Originally Posted by captaindrey
    ďour lifestyles, goals, distance, and past experiences are too different.Ē She said ďmy feelings got really strong and I feel like itís best to end them before anyone gets really hurt here.Ē .

  10. #29
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Building on Keyman's post: When a man tells me that he is happy when i am happy, I look for exits. I feel pressure to communicate how happy he's made me, to make sure he is happy.

    Bottom line: Happiness comes from within. Anyone who thinks it comes from external sources will be perpetually unhappy; I can't make anyone else happy if they aren't happy already.

  11. #30
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    I think this may have been misunderstood. I donít act like I would bend over backwards for her happiness. And I would never use the ďall I want to do is make you happyĒ approach. Iíd look for exits too.
    Itís just a strange situation because nothing was wrong except for her idealization of the future.
    Just as a little side story, Valentineís Day we didnít see each other bc we both worked. We were going to spend the next day together but she was feeling ill and eventually we bounced the idea of me coming down but decided that it was probably better to do the next day. Next day we went back and forth because she was still feeling bad but I didnít give her a hard time. A few hours later she called and thanked me for being patient and told me sheíd come up to see me. She did and we had a great time.
    Next weekend she came up and we went to a friends get together. It was her first time meeting that group of friends. On the car ride back she was asking if she did ok (silly question) and I said of course. Even my friends said she was acting to impress which made them very surprised when I told them the next morning didnít go as well.
    She said we should take a few weeks off hugged me and left. I tried to call her for an unrelated reason (there was an accident near my house that involved a car just like hers) but I discovered my calls were blocked. She eventually unblocked me and called to talk about it and I was still in a state of disbelief so it didnít click that my silence that morning made her feel uncomfortable. We talked about it a little and she said that we should just end it. A few days later she said her feelings got too strong and she didnít want us to get hurt down the road.
    I just donít see those as actions of someone that was losing interest. I could be wrong.
    We did see each other again and had a great time. Now itís been quiet for the past few days. I always move on.

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