Why did he disappear

I was in a relationship with a guy who was 18. I was 22. When he had first asked me about a relationship I thought perhaps he was too young. Now I think he was immature. I thought he was a good person but the way he ended things was heartbreaking. At the beginning of the relationship he was saying how he wanted this to last and we did have a connection. He would express how it felt like we were soulmates and it was always a lot of fun when we would do things together and see each other every day. Then one day after one of our hangout times it was the last time I saw him again. We went out for Ice cream and then went home. After that when I texted him he barely responded and then one day when I asked if we could talk he texted back no that's it. The next day he sent a long text that we should break up. He said he was crying as he wrote this. It all seems ridiculous to disappear and then send long texts like that. I didn't see issues in the relationship and then suddenly that. I haven't seen him since. I messaged him very rarely after that in order to give him space, but most recently when we messaged he said he was worried to message me because I would think we would start dating again, and he said he wants to be friends. He said if that's what I thought would happen it's not. He said he doesn't want me to believe anything will happen again. It's a very different person than who I was with before. He said he wasn't attracted anymore, he doesn't know why. He said he used to love me and didn't know what changed. Also he has bipolar. He seems uncaring now. After that he blocked me on social media. I'm trying to understand, it's all quite odd how he suddenly disappeared.

Sorry to hear this. Agree, he is too immature for you. Were you his first sexual experience? You need to delete and block him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps. This will help you move forward. Do not chase or continue to pursue him. Get on some quality dating apps and start messaging guys in your own age-range and maturity level.

Also you can meet guys at college or classes, courses as well as clubs groups and volunteering. Develop yourself and round out your life. Do not babysit teenage boys. Date guys your own age.

I was in a relationship with a guy who was 18. I was 22. Now I think he was immature. most recently when we messaged he said he was worried to message me because I would think we would start dating again.

Can you resolve within to just take him at face value and believe what he has told you? He dated you and he discovered that you weren't a good match so he ended it. If you just listen to what he told you then it won't be hard to understand. It IS hard to swallow rejection but with time you'll be just fine and you'll not give him another thought.

Was he your first boyfriend?

You are correct, he was immature. Usually at age 18, whether male or female, people are still kids and haven't grown up yet. Relationships are passing fancies if that.

Some people or a guy in your case are selfish, lack empathy and do whatever they want when they want without any consideration nor concern for you. You can't control nor change people like that. They do whatever they want, say whatever they want, act however they wish and it does not matter to them how you feel or what your reaction is. There's no sense trying to figure them out. They are who they are and will not change.

He's bipolar and it's better for you to be associated with mentally healthy and stable people anyway. It's less stress for you.

As for his abrupt behavior, consider it a blessing in disguise. He's letting you go even though the way he went about it was disdainful. Even though you don't see this now, bad experiences teach you a lot about people, their personalities and intolerable characteristic traits. As years pass by, you'll observe character and cherish moral character because it's the only thing that endures.

From this day forward, you will only admire people who treat you and others with sincere respect. Everyone else should disappear from your life because you certainly deserve better. Be glad you were ghosted, blocked and deleted. Say, "Good riddance!" to yourself and repeat. Get rid of the bum in your mind!

He was not my first boyfriend, but he said there was something different about me and really wanted to be with me. Note that I said he has bipolar. Please take into consideration everything that I said not just the fact he rejected me. If I take him at face value and believe what he told me how can I not believe what he said before?

He was not my first boyfriend, but he said there was something different about me and really wanted to be with me. Note that I said he has bipolar. Please take into consideration everything that I said not just the fact he rejected me. If I take him at face value and believe what he told me how can I not believe what he said before? Thatwasthen you don't understand our connection. The reason I ask this is because he truly seemed to want to make this relationship work so for him to suddenly disappear is out of character. That is why I am seeking to understand.

He was not my first boyfriend, but he said there was something different about me and really wanted to be with me. Note that I said he has bipolar. Please take into consideration everything that I said not just the fact he rejected me. If I take him at face value and believe what he told me how can I not believe what he said before? Thatwasthen you don't understand our connection. The reason I ask this is because he truly seemed to want to make this relationship work so for him to suddenly disappear is out of character. That is why I am seeking to understand.

I could say "out of character" about a lot of people in my life, too, flor97. You just have to accept people's behaviors even though you don't understand it. The key is that you have to accept it. However, it doesn't mean you have to tolerate it. Some people exit your life for their own reasons or if you choose to exit their life for your own reasons, obviously both sides are incompatible which means the relationship wasn't meant to endure.

Try not to bang your head on the wall as you figure out what makes people tick. It's a waste of your time and energy. Many times, there is no control nor rhyme nor reason why people behave the way they do. If they leave, it's their choice and all you can do is move on with your own life.

I'm sorry you were rejected and dumped. Even though it is painful, know that you are a high quality lady and deserve a high quality MAN in your life; not an immature boy.

How long were you together?

At just 18, he is far from having his own life figured out. It is best not to put too much stock into what someone as young and inherently inexperienced as him says, in terms of wanting to build a future. This is especially true if he suffers from bi-polar disorder. He isn't in a place to offer you a serious and long-term relationship.

He was not my first boyfriend, but he said there was something different about me and really wanted to be with me. Note that I said he has bipolar. Please take into consideration everything that I said not just the fact he rejected me. If I take him at face value and believe what he told me how can I not believe what he said before? Thatwasthen you don't understand our connection. The reason I ask this is because he truly seemed to want to make this relationship work so for him to suddenly disappear is out of character. That is why I am seeking to understand.

Well, I realize that it sucks big time when a "connection" doesn't pan out for the long haul but that is what dating is about. To find a life partner who you can last a lifetime with. You probably can believe what he said before during the honeymoon period because he likely meant it at the time when everything is all new and shiney and the new relationship energy makes you say the things he said to you before.

I understand your connection. Connecting with someone is nothing new to me, I'm old and I've had connections before. I'm fortunate enough to have a connection last past the honeymoon stage and you will find that person too but first you have to accept that somethings just don't pan out and that ending something isn't really about it being out of his character but rather a realization of his.

How long did you date him?

He's 18! The male brain doesnt fully mature until age 25. He has a long way to go.

He's a kid, you need to remember that. He is learning his way around the dating world. He let you down the only way he knew, and you have to accept this. Bipolar or not, he's still a teenage boy. Find someone closer to your own age.

Is this the same guy?: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=563747&p=7201060&viewfull=1#post7201060

He was not my first boyfriend, but he said there was something different about me and really wanted to be with me. Note that I said he has bipolar. Please take into consideration everything that I said not just the fact he rejected me. If I take him at face value and believe what he told me how can I not believe what he said before?

Young people normally like to experience many relationships so that they can get that important life experience under their belts before eventually settling down. In each relationship, they learn what they do want and what they don't want. People who marry before age 25 have a 75 percent divorce rate, maybe because they didn't give themselves those needed dating experiences and clung to someone they assumed was "the one," but was far from it.

What is the lesson you're missing here? You're clinging to his pretty words as though they trump everything else. You also have to take into account actions just as equally, and he has bolted. Whenever a relationship fails, it allows you to be free to meet a person whose actions will match his words, and he won't leave--not even once.

Young people normally like to experience many relationships so that they can get that important life experience under their belts before eventually settling down. In each relationship, they learn what they do want and what they don't want. People who marry before age 25 have a 75 percent divorce rate, maybe because they didn't give themselves those needed dating experiences and clung to someone they assumed was "the one," but was far from it.

What is the lesson you're missing here? You're clinging to his pretty words as though they trump everything else. You also have to take into account actions just as equally, and he has bolted. Whenever a relationship fails, it allows you to be free to meet a person whose actions will match his words, and he won't leave--not even once.

Op: You would do well to stop obsessing about this guy so you can more quickly get to the stage of indifference to him so you can be open in mind and heart to find a man that doesn't reel you in with his words. You must learn to be wary of men who proclaim to want a life with you during the honeymoon period or you will end up hurt and confused yet again. Time to emotionally mature and take words as just that until actions back them up as the truth.

Again I ask: How long did you date him before he left you?

Is this the same guy?

 

No. I don't know who that is.

Sorry to hear this. Agree, he is too immature for you. Were you his first sexual experience? You need to delete and block him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps. This will help you move forward. Do not chase or continue to pursue him. Get on some quality dating apps and start messaging guys in your own age-range and maturity level.

 

Also you can meet guys at college or classes, courses as well as clubs groups and volunteering. Develop yourself and round out your life. Do not babysit teenage boys. Date guys your own age.

 

Were you his first sexual experience?

 

He had a girlfriend before but said she had left him when she lost interest. He was afraid that I was going to do the same: but then he ended up doing that to me, how ironic. We actually met at college, but as you said he is too immature for me and I need to date people my own age.

Yes, I would stay away from 18-year-old boys.

You're not going to get a solid commitment from someone so young. He's got way too much exploring and growing yet to do.

Still no answer as to how long you dated him? I suspect it wasn't very long.

The divorce rate in North America is now at 50% I don't think that not dating around before settling down has much to do with that percentage. I think people who marry before they know who they are marrying and people who settle and then can't stand what they settled for is more of a reason.

 

Agree!

 

Op: You would do well to stop obsessing about this guy so you can more quickly get to the stage of indifference to him so you can be open in mind and heart to find a man that doesn't reel you in with his words. You must learn to be wary of men who proclaim to want a life with you during the honeymoon period or you will end up hurt and confused yet again. Time to emotionally mature and take words as just that until actions back them up as the truth.

 

Again I ask: How long did you date him before he left you?

We dated for several months. I am getting over him and no longer wanting to work it out. The only sad thing is when a shopping trip turns into a sad situation as I remember how we used to shop together and go to the same places I still go. I'm moving on. I realize he was not able to handle a long term relationship although he wanted to.

We dated for several months. I am getting over him and no longer wanting to work it out. The only sad thing is when a shopping trip turns into a sad situation as I remember how we used to shop together and go to the same places I still go. I'm moving on. I realize he was not able to handle a long term relationship although he wanted to.

Those memories will fade with time, and doing these things will one day no longer sting the way it does now.

Keep doing you, and remember that this boy is not in any place in his life to offer a really serious commitment.

We dated for several months. I am getting over him and no longer wanting to work it out. The only sad thing is when a shopping trip turns into a sad situation as I remember how we used to shop together and go to the same places I still go. I'm moving on. I realize he was not able to handle a long term relationship although he wanted to.

It's natural to grieve. Nobody's being dismissive of your feelings, but rather, we're trying to reinforce why focusing on the reasons why he wasn't a good match for your future is the best tool you can use to heal.

Head high, and take baby steps.

We dated for several months. I am getting over him and no longer wanting to work it out. The only sad thing is when a shopping trip turns into a sad situation as I remember how we used to shop together and go to the same places I still go. I'm moving on. I realize he was not able to handle a long term relationship although he wanted to.

They say it takes about two weeks for every YEAR you were in a relationship to get to the stage of indifference to the person (if you go zero contact) if that's the case then you can take some relief in knowing that (now that you have accepted) you'll only be feeling the sting of no longer being in his life for just a short while more. You'll be fine in no time at all and be open to finding a good man worth being with.

Onward and upward.

That seems interesting only two weeks for every year. That seems a short amount of time for a year.

I find it's best to forget the mementos as well. He would visit me at work and leave letters in my car door so when I was done I would see the note in my door, notes that read I love you, you're the only one for me. He bought me beautiful jewelry and other gifts. It's best to get rid of all of the presents and letters he wrote me as to not be reminded. He took me to restaurants and showered me with gifts, it's best to separate myself from the situation by getting rid of those things.

That seems interesting only two weeks for every year. That seems a short amount of time for a year.

It is only short if you keep on like you have with this guy instead of accepting it's over, going zero contact and actually believing you are NOT going to work it out. Its two weeks AFTER you accept that. You didn't accept that (I have my doubts you even have yet). So how long are you going to keep feeling like chit due to your own non-acceptance?

Burn the letters and let your attachment to him drift away with the smoke of his superficial writings.

I find it's best to forget the mementos as well. He would visit me at work and leave letters in my car door so when I was done I would see the note in my door, notes that read I love you, you're the only one for me. He bought me beautiful jewelry and other gifts. It's best to get rid of all of the presents and letters he wrote me as to not be reminded. He took me to restaurants and showered me with gifts, it's best to separate myself from the situation by getting rid of those things.

And you liked that??? That’s all superficial crap?

Why was he going to your work and leaving notes on your car door? Was he unemployed and nothing else to do???

Sounds like he found someone else to butter up?

Sorry !

Why are you so stuck on his words from the past and not heeding his words of the present?

Bipolar or not , he is still an 18 year old with flippant behaviour.

He didn’t end it out of mental illness , he ended it because he is a hormonal 18 yr old .

You mentioned that you rarely messaged him after he broke up with you. One message after him breaking up with you was one too many!

Don’t lose dignity over this. Please?!