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Thread: Unhappy

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dodo
    I donít know what I fear exactly. Iím deeply embarrassed to admit my life is this pathetic, I donít want anyone to know so telling a doctor or anyone else is something Iíd rather not do. Although, yes, I do see that it may be needed. Trying it out here anonymously is a starting point!

    When I went to the doctor years ago I had blood tests done. The doctor phone me later to tell me I didnít have thyroid problems so I didnít need another appointment. No referral to a psychiatrist or anything else. I suppose Iím trying to explain that when I worked up the courage to ask for help I felt like I was dismissed and so it has left me more reluctant to try to ask for help now.
    Originally Posted by Dodo
    I am reluctant to ask for help because I donít want to disappoint anyone. I feel bad for feeling bad, especially as I know it is only me that can do anything about it. So if I asked for help I think I would very quickly feel overwhelmed then feel like a failure and a disappointment for not improving and then would back off and give up.
    The sense of shame you describe is very typical in situations like this.

    I remember when I was 14 or 15 and in therapy, I struggled with it to some degree. I didn't have the kind of shame that prevented me from seeking help, but I did feel shame for the emotions I felt in certain situations.

    One thing I struggled with was feeling jealous over my boyfriend. I didn't want to admit it to myself or anyone. I thought it was beneath what I should be feeling and was embarrassed to admit that I was vulnerable.

    But one day, while I was in therapy, it reached a point where I just had to talk about it or I would explode. I remember the anxiety I felt as I started to speak. I thought it was this huge confession that was about to undo me.

    Amazingly, the problem actually seemed to diminish in size as I spoke. When I was done saying what I had to say, I realized that it wasn't such a big deal after all. Yes, it was a problem that I had to work through for some time, but it didn't completely destroy me. It didn't change who I was.

    Sharing the problem with another person--an indifferent person--gave me a sense of perspective about the whole thing. He didn't recoil in disgust and kick me out of the office. He didn't tell me that my character was lacking in some way. He simply listened, and that really helped.

    I think the saying that best sums it up is, "The difference between a mountain and a molehill is perspective." Speaking about your problems with another person often gives you a helpful sense of perspective.

    So, my recommendation to you is to push through. I realize how discouraging it is when you work up all of this courage to ask for help only to be seemingly shot down by a doctor. But stay the course. The doctor is human too, and prone to error just as you are.

    Try again.

  2. #32
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    Unhappy,

    I don't know how to help you. IMHO though, this site's not the right place for you - all you'll hear from most people posting here is how you need to 'go to the doctor to deal with your depression' and 'go to therapy asap' and 'start dealing with your issues proactively' and 'advance your education'. Sigh, because it's that easy and clear-cut, of course. If I were you I'd post on specific sites for those of us who live with mental health issues. I can relate to many things you're talking about even though 'on paper' I'm all 'good'. I wish you all the best.

  3. #33
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    Dodo, I feel you would benefit from volunteering. Being surrounded by others who are there to help - it not only feels nice, but you meet lovely people. You never know what opportunities can arise from there.

    Also, you might want to consider taking an acting workshop once you've got some money. Acting helps you to be more confident. In the meantime, do you enjoy painting or writing? Dabbing in art is for some quite therapeutic, writing is more my cup of tea. Another thing that works for me is to walk somewhere with a nice landscape, something pretty to look at.

    Lastly, surround yourself with anything that is joyful and uplifting. Movies, books, videos, etc. For example: Avoid TV dramas and opt for shows that will make you laugh.


    Just edited to add: search for "People Who Failed Before Becoming Famous". It's actually quite eye-opening and it shows us that it's never too late to make something out of life.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Google "Help rejecting complaining". Agree some sort of mental health forum may be informative.

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