Reasonable or Unreasonable?

My girlfriend is going on a trip with her brother and a mutual guy friend of ours. I cannot go. I then come to find out another guy is coming along who I know. This guy is the epitome of womanizing sleezeball. He has a girlfriend yet anytime he is out of town he gets on Tinder and tries to meet up with and interact with other women.

Awhile back before my GF and I were anymore than just friends, he was supposed to take a trip with a bunch of us, but backed out last minute saying his GF did not want him to go Bc another girl is going to be there (who now is my gf). He alluded to all of us that he wasn’t allowed to go Bc his GF is fearful he will mess around with this girl and even went as far to make it seem like this girl would want to do so as if he is irresistible. So keep in my flashback to now this is my current GF.

They have no current history of anything but this guy again is a major cheater who thinks he is gods gift to women and that he can sleep with whomever he wants.

I am not fond of this at all. Although I do believe my GF would be faithful, I do not even like the thought of him trying anything. They would all be sharing the same accommodations and he is reckless and not a trustworthy person. This trip is going to be 1,000 miles away in another country.

Her argument is her brother and our other guy friend will be there and even if the one guy (sleezeball) did try anything she would clearly rebuff him.

I know if shoes were on the other foot and I was going and she wasnt and some loose girl who likes to sleep around was going too that she would not be fond of it.

Also, early on in our relationship this guy(sleezeball) and his buddy who is just like him wanted me to take a trip with them, and my gf told me she would not like me going on a trip with him Bc of how he is.

Thoughts?

She's got a good head on her shoulders and knows what this guy is all about. You have nothing to worry about. If anything this guy won't be around too much if he's going to be busy hooking up with women off Tinder. Most likely he will disappearing, not be doing anything in front of everyone. There's three of them and one of him. Their majority will rule on how things play out.

As for her comment, she knows about peer pressure and the "boys will be boy" concept. Two of them and one of you. She's looking at it as, you would be following them around, seeing them get all busy with these women, and have these women's friends trying to paw on your with those two encouraging you to stop being a p&^%$#, etc.

She's just expressing concern about what they will be exposing you to.

This guy can't create problems unless your girlfriend lets him, OP.

I can understand why you don't love the thought of him there, but if you trust her, you don't need to worry. On the off chance that something happens between them?

Welp, you've just saved yourself the hassle of wasting your time with a girl who doesn't love you.

Although I do believe my GF would be faithful,

Look at it this way: Your girlfriend would be dumb to the nth degree if she were to do anything when her brother is there (cheaters don't like their cheating to be documented by anyone because they know how wrong it is) and sleaze ball would be even dumber if he thought he could get away with sexually assaulting her with her brother there.

So... I think your paranoia is you feeling out of control rather than you actually being worried about him and her together.

Oof. Doesn't sound like you respect your lady a whole lot.

Unreasonable.

You do not trust your gf. This is not about him.

Do you believe your girlfriend truly loves you?

If so, why do you doubt her ability to say "no" if this guy tries anything? Is she wishy-washy or does she have a history of cheating?

Since she's an adult who knows right from wrong, you're best option is to trust her unless she gives you a reason not to. This is not so much about her brother's friend, it's about her choice to remain loyal to you.

In short, she'll either sink or swim yet when all is said and done, you'll have your answer.

How long have you been dating? Unfortunately no matter how jealous you get or how much you trash this guy, he's her brother's friend and he will be there. Why are you friends with this sleazeball?

In fact the more of a fuss you make the more she will will see you as weak and possessive. This in comparison can make even a rat like him look good. Stop grandstanding. Either you trust her or you don't. If you don't, end it before she goes.

My girlfriend is going on a trip with her brother and a mutual guy friend of ours. Her argument is her brother and our other guy friend will be there

I'll go against the grain here.

There are two sets of rules here. She has no qualms going on a trip with the sleazeball yet she would not agree to your going on a trip with sleazeball and his buddy. UNREASONABLE.

It's not just a matter of trust since that's an easy word to throw around. It's about loyalty, devotion and integrity.

My husband graciously and politely declined from attending his college reunion for several reasons. It will cost over $2K+ including airfare, hotel, entertainment tickets to shows, car rental, gas and restaurant meals. Spouses are discouraged from attending and there will be a lot of drinking. Out of respect for his wife, my husband and I will have a nice outing that weekend instead. He's not a party hearty guy and it's not his lifestyle. He's not 19 years old anymore. He would attend if it were a MUTUAL decision. However, we both agreed that he has no interest in attending and I'm relieved!

It's not a matter of my not trusting him either. We simply aren't comfortable being around those who order a lot of alcoholic beverages with abandon, easily use foul language, some of his friends smoke and we lead a more conservative lifestyle in the suburbs. It's out of our comfort zone to socialize with foul mouthed drinkers and smokers.

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