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Thread: Doing the right thing

  1. #11
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You need to move out, if you dont, you will end up in bed with him before long.

  2. #12
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    To pile on, yes, move out.

    You are going to get hurt if you don't, because you two will likely wind up sleeping together and it will be very uncomfortable for you because he still won't want a relationship.

    Consider this: what if he does start casually dating someone or sleeping with someone else, and brings her home? Do you really want to bump into her in your kitchen?

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Speaking only for myself, my rule of thumb is "Don't make a mess where you live..."

    I'd stay platonic while searching for another living situation. I'd tell the guy that I like him and can picture the two of us dating in the future, and that's why I'm moving away while we still think highly of one another. He gets to find a more suitable roommate, and if he ever decides that dating to explore a potential relationship is something he wants to do, he can let me know. If I'm still available then, we can meet to catch up. Beyond that, I wish him the best.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok join some clubs, groups ,volunteer, take some classes and courses not only to get out of the house more but to meet some quality people. You are looking for something otherwise you wouldn't proposition him. If that's the case, get on some dating apps and rather than play nanny, housekeeper, fwb start messaging and meeting men after work/on weekends .
    Originally Posted by foreverblue
    I don't want a relationship right now or anything. I'm not sure why I did that. I moved in with him because I wanted a place closer to where I work. I am trying to figure out why I did what I did.Its usually me initiating and he just goes along with it. .

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    ... but you promised your mom you would keep it platonic. You are 30 years old... why would your mother be involved in who you do or do not go to bed with? Are you on the spectrum? (I do not ask that with malice) I find that odd that she would make you promise something like that to be honest.

    You say you are working hard on "some exams" Can you not find shared accomodations at school or somewhere near your work?
    What are these "circumstances" that led you to move in with him? Did he offer?
    I assume you don't know him very well and unfortunately you are in way over your head. How long have you known him?

  7. #16
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    I just wanted to thank everyone who commented with their wise words. I wanted to give an update on how the situation unfolded.

    As many would have guessed, it turned out to be a bad decision. We ended up sleeping together after that a few times. The reason why i did it is because I confused

    attraction and expected him to change or to appreciate me more. I ended up just being a baby sitter, mentor, at times cleaning his apartment. I thought he would

    see everything I did for him and open up to me. It backfired, he gave me the cold shoulder in the end. This was strange for me because he reads the bible daily,

    seemed to listen attentively to me when I spoke about things, and he didnt have any bad habits. It was more about what he wouldnt do. I can count on my fingers

    the times he would say hello or thank you. When I spoke to him and told him how I felt I told him it was over he didnt care to express regret or anything.

    Eventually i realized that after four children he seemed bitter and resentful toward his wife for not wanting to be in an unhappy union that was based solely on his

    desire to fulfill his Christian vows of commitment.

    I am going back work soon and plan to move after I sit my exam.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry. Stop being his slave.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    You seem pretty clear-headed about it. Sorry you feel guilty. I don't think you did anything wrong. But I do think you should move out ASAP. This man will not make a good partner for you.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Beware wolves in sheep's clothing. This facade of piety is what blinded you. Watch for actions. If it acts like a snake it's a snake. If he's so holy why is he having casual sex with a live-in baby sitter/housekeeper?
    Originally Posted by foreverblue
    This was strange for me because he reads the bible daily. his desire to fulfill his Christian vows of commitment.

  11. #20
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I agree with everyone's opinion here, however if you're staying there when he has his kids over, you're both being irresponsible.

    In short, I would leave Mr. "Christian" and his "bible" in the dust.

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