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Thread: Deciding to date with our age gap

  1. #1

    Deciding to date with our age gap

    Im a 21 male and he is 37, we've been in a fwb situation for the past year and we're thinking of taking our relationship to the next level and start officially dating, but we are trying to figure out the logistics to see if it would even work. Some background info, he works at the college I go to (not a Professor/TA) and lives pretty close to me as well, so seeing each other/spending time together isn't a problem, as I can pop on over anytime. We really love each other and want to make this work, but we have been trying to figure out if it'd work and have gotten stuck and could use some outside advice. The main 2 questions we've been talking about are being what's the best way to be introduced to each others friends and family and what to do about work events. Like he has a pretty high standing for his job and obviously there are events where he's been asked to bring a plus one. And by bringing me, it would be a little out of place, as I'm currently a student at the school and I would hate to ever ruin his reputation. So if anyone has any advice on how to ease into these things, that'd be great because we've each never done an age gap relationship before.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Central Canada
    If you would jeopardise his standing or employment at the college then you actually shouldn't be involved with one another at all so I suggest you keep your relationship on the down low if you're not going to break it off so he's not getting into trouble over it.

    What is his employers policy on dating students at the very place where he's employed, do you know, does he?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    There is too much of an age difference. You're so young at 21 and he's already 37; you're a generation apart. Eventually, this age gap will become problematic even though you don't see this now. It's better to be with someone closer to your age bracket IMHO.

    Good point by 'ThatwasThen.' Wise advice. Take heed.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    He is risking his whole career by being with you. While you are still a student at the college he works at then you need to remain in the shadows and hope that his colleagues/superiors do not see you together.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Surrey BC, Canada
    You need to be discussing this with him and he needs to do his due diligence, and review all policies on dating students. He's 37 years old....old enough to know better and what would be best in this situation. If he doesn't care what people think, that's all on him not you. Friends and family can know no problem, they just have to be told this can't leak out to the college if there is a policy in place. Age? I don't see that as a problem. You are an adult and can date anyone you want. As for work events, stay out of it. If being openly gay is an issue where you are, you both should consider moving to a more accommodating pride supportive city.


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